


Spirit That Denies

by tsuki_fics, Tsukiori (tsuki_fics)



Category: Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Genre: Kink Meme, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-15
Updated: 2012-04-15
Packaged: 2017-10-24 15:38:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 50,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsuki_fics/pseuds/tsuki_fics, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsuki_fics/pseuds/Tsukiori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Courting is never an easy task. Especially when the suitor is from another world and the object of his affections is horribly naive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The sunlight streaming through the windows was a rare occurrence in their little corner of Prussia. Daniel flung open the curtains and smiled at the day. It truly begged for a walk outside. He wondered if the baron would join him if he asked. After some reflection he decided that maybe it would be best to go by himself. The baron seemed pensive and brooding lately, some time away from Daniel might very well be what he needed. The young man sighed, cast one more longing gaze at the woods outside before turning to go to his breakfast.

It couldn't be easy on the old man. Not only did the poor gentleman have to put up with his prattling, but Daniel had shown up at his doorstep fully expecting the man to be his savior; both daunting tasks he knew full well.

He knocked on the baron's study door. He heard Alexander rumble something and took it as permission to enter. He took a breath, held it, released it slowly to calm himself and pushed the door open. _I will not badger the poor man with questions first thing in the morning, I will not badger the poor man with questions first thing in the morning, I will not-_ "What lovely flowers, Alexander! Wherever did you find them? Are they a species only native to Prussia? I've never seen anything like them before. What are they called?" He mentally cringed.

Alexander looked up from the book he had been reading, a cup of steaming tea by his elbow, his breakfast untouched before him. He always waited for Daniel to arrive before starting his meals, a small courtesy that did not go unnoticed or unappreciated. "The garden. I do not know. Some breed of orchid I would guess."

"They are lovely." Daniel repeated, forcing a smile on his face to hide his flustering.

"I'm glad you think so. They are for you after all."

"For me? That would explain why they are by my table setting. I'll take them to my room after we eat. It was very kind of you to…" The baron closed his book and began to eat, ignoring Daniel to all appearances.

 _Oh, me and my mouth._ He sat down at the small table and began to pick at his food. He wouldn't say a single word until they were done eating; he'd thank his host for the meal, and then go back to his room. His eyes lighted upon the flowers again. "Did you pick them yourself?" He bit his lip.

Alexander sighed. "Who else would it have been, Daniel?"

He flushed, looked down at the fork he was clutching too tightly in his hand. "I thought maybe the servants…" But he rarely saw the servants and they seemed not to care about things such as making the castle less gloomy. He also couldn't imagine the Baron's men, the rough, loutish looking fellows who would step into the shadows or through doors whenever Daniel drew near, going out into the gardens at the Baron's request.

"They are very lovely."

"I have gathered that you like them. You have remarked upon it three times already."

"Oh. Yes." His face was so hot he feared the baron would hear the blood boiling in his cheeks. "I'll just take them to my room then. As I've said before." He stood up, letting his utensils clatter to the table, and reached for the vase.

He started as Alexander's cool fingers wrapped around his wrist. "Now, Daniel? You've hardly touched your food."

Daniel shook off the baron's hand. "I'm not that hungry this morning, Alexander. I mean, Baron. Thank you for the…" His voice trailed off as he tried to remember how often he had already thanked the baron for the flowers. He all but ran from the room, clutching the vase to his chest.

* * *

The knock on his door roused him from the nap he had fallen into. After breakfast he had found that he had no energy for a walk and had thrown himself back into his bed to stare up at the ceiling and replay each awkward thing he had said and done since his arrival at Brennenberg. "Yes?"

"Are you feeling better?" Alexander asked as he threw open the door and strode in.

"Oh, I wasn't feeling poorly to begin with!"

Cool fingers skimmed across his brow. "You don't seem to be feverish."

"I really am fine, Alexan… Baron."

"If you were fine you would have eaten your breakfast and not have fled the room as if something were in pursuit of you." A small grimace, as if the baron instantly regretted his choice of words.

"I really am all right, my friend." He bit his lip. "My lord."

Alexander raised an eyebrow. "We are the only two here, Daniel. You need not stand on ceremony with me. In fact, I would much prefer if you didn't."

"Thank you…Alexander." He cast his eyes down, missing the small smile that flitted across the baron's lips. He glanced up again as he felt Alexander's weight sag the mattress as he sat down.

"Did I upset you this morning? Was it something I did?"

"You? No! No no no!"

"Then the flowers weren't too bold a gesture?"

Daniel blinked, wondered if the baron was mistaking one English word for another, though usually his English was immaculate. "Bold? How so? It was a lovely gesture. I was happy to receive them, that you had thought of me this morning and went to gather them. It made me happy."

"It gladdens me to hear that Daniel."

A hand that should have been gnarled and weak with age curled over Daniel's. He could feel the strength in it still and it never ceased to amaze him how hardy the baron was despite all his apparent years.

"You said there was a garden here?"

"There is. That is right, you have yet to see it. Would it please you to? We could take our lunch there. It is a fine day."

"I was struck by that same thought this morning! The fineness of the day, not the garden, I didn't even know a garden existed here until breakfast, you wouldn't think by looking at your-" He took a breath, tried to cram the words back inside. "It would please me. Thank you."

Alexander laughed. It was full and rich and seemed like it should have belonged to a man twenty years younger than him. "You always amuse me, my friend. In my long, long years I do not think I have ever met anyone as singular as you."

"You think me odd." Daniel could not keep the pout from his voice.

"I find you a delight." The baron chucked him under the chin and rose to his feet. "Come, we'll tell the kitchen staff on the way out where to send our lunch." He held out a hand and helped Daniel out of his bed. It wasn't until they were well into wandering through the gardens that Daniel noticed that Alexander had yet to release his hold on his hand.


	2. Chapter 2

"Are the nightmares being especially unkind to you tonight, Daniel?"

The young man squeaked, almost dropping his candle on the library floor.

"Daniel?" Alexander put down the book he had been reading and half rose from the couch.

"I'm sorry. You startled me. Yes, I mean no, I mean I couldn't sleep. I thought reading might help calm me."

Alexander sat back down and resumed reading, or at least opened his book once again; his eyes weren't skimming over the passages and Daniel wondered if he was waiting for him to leave.

"I'll just find a book and go back to my room then." He picked a book at random from the many shelves and turned to leave the baron to his solitude.

"That one, Daniel?"

"Pardon?" He turned. The baron had one eyebrow raised and was looking at the book in Daniel's hand.

"It was my understanding that that particular book was banned in your country. I never thought of you as being curious about those sorts of things."

Daniel glanced at the title of the book in his hand and dropped it as if it had burned him. He rubbed his hand against his nightshirt. "Why would you have such…such filth?"

Alexander laughed, a deep, rich sound that made Daniel shiver. "I've never seen you blush so, Daniel. Your… innocence is charming."

Daniel debated picking the book up off the floor and returning it back to the shelf, but couldn't bring himself to touch it again. "I think I'll forego reading. I'll just stare at my bedroom ceiling for a while."."

"Don't be foolish. Come, sit by me for a while. Read."

"I need to find a book."

"Try this one. I read it the other day. It reminded me of you." Alexander held out a slim, red, leather bound volume.

Daniel took it with some trepidation and sat beside his benefactor. "Goethe? It looks like poems," he remarked, flipping through it.

"That would be because it is poetry."

He winced. Again he managed to sound like a complete dolt. "I'm sure it's lovely, but I am afraid my German is still not up to snuff. It would be completely lost on me."

"I could read it to you. My translation skills, while being far from flawless, should be adequate to get the point across."

"Please. If you don't mind."

"I wouldn't have offered if I minded. Now this one was the most striking; it was the first one that brought you to mind."

" _Who rides so late through the night and wind?"_ Daniel felt his eyes drift shut as the baron's deep voice rose and fell, the rich cadence lulling him into a doze. It was a poem about a child riding home with his father one dark night and seeing something called an Erlking-the devil?- in the woods. The child kept warning his father that this Erlking was trying to tempt him away, but the father kept chalking it up to a child's fancy. The Erlking kept tempting, the child kept resisting and the father denying, until: _"I am charmed by your beautiful form; And if you won't come willingly, then I'll use force."_ He frowned at that part, but couldn't stir himself to comment. The poem ended with the father finally believing his son and rushing home to try to outrun the Erlking only to discover his son dead in his arms, the Erlking victorious.

"Hm. That was lovely," Daniel mumbled, commenting more on the baron's voice than the poem itself. "Lovely, but a bit gloomy." His eyes few open. "How did that remind you of me?"

The baron only smiled. "Shall I read another?"

He hesitated, then nodded. The baron selected another poem and Daniel found himself nodding off. His head falling against Alexander's shoulder jerked him awake. He tried to righten himself, but the baron placed his hand on his shoulder folding him against his chest. "Shh. It's all right if you sleep, Daniel. Shall I continue?"

"Yes, I love your voice." Daniel's eyes drifted shut. They opened when he realized what he had just said. "I meant you have a lovely voice for reading."

Alexander only hummed, before launching into a rather lengthy poem about stars and longing and agony, possibly over a lover; Daniel was too tired to keep it all straight. Alexander's voice trailed off as Daniel was on the cusp of sleep. "What I would do to keep you, my Daniel." He thought he felt lips ghost over his temple and then the dreamless void claimed him.


	3. Chapter 3

Alexander seemed to have fallen into a melancholy mood and Daniel was at a loss. He had a strong feeling that it somehow was his doing but had no idea as to what his transgression had been or how to rectify it. His nightmares had grown more terrifying recently and he often sought out the older man for comfort no matter the lateness of the hour. He would suspect that this was the reason for the baron's black moods, but he seemed at his happiest when he was reading a volume of poetry at Daniel's bedside or making them a cup of tea by the fireplace. When the sun was at its highest was when the baron would rest his chin in a thin hand and gaze out the window with sighs or murmurs in a language Daniel couldn't quite place. Worse, sometimes Daniel would turn around and find Alexander's inscrutable gaze turned on him, seemingly in search of something and finding it in want. It all made Daniel feel horrible, a failure. He tried to avoid the other man, thinking that maybe if he was the reason for the moods, his absence might be the balm for them, but that seemed to agitate the baron further. If he tried to closet himself up in the library for the day, for example, after a few hours Alexander would enter, throw him a hurt glance and seat himself nearby without a word, making busy work with whatever was close at hand. The man truly was a puzzle.

It was another fine day, Daniel observed from Alexander's study window. He debated going for a walk in the gardens and decided he was in the mood for something longer and more rambling. "You keep horses." It wasn't a question, but the baron answered as if it were.

"I do. I keep several for the carriage and some for the cart that goes into town for supplies."

"None for riding then?"

The baron's eyebrow twitched but he didn't comment further.

"I was thinking it would be fine weather for a ride." Not getting any response, Daniel threw himself back into his chair with a sigh. "I guess I'll go for a walk then. That small settlement-Altstadt was it- seemed like a good day's hike and I should get back before dark if I leave within an hour."

"We have the gardens. If you want to take some exercise, surely you can do that there."

"I was thinking of something that would stretch my legs more, where I could take in more fresh air. Maybe if I exhaust myself I will be able to sleep through the night."

The baron's eyes searched Daniel's face and he frowned at what he saw there. "Are the dreams that troubling?"

"You know they are." Daniel was aghast at the waspish tone he had directed at Alexander. "I am so sorry, my lord. I didn't mean to…" He hid his face in his hands. "I am close to my wit's end."

"You know you are safe while you're within the realm of my protection." Alexander rose to his feet and walked over to where Daniel sat. He placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"But if this is my life," Daniel threw up his hands to seem to encompass himself, the castle, Alexander himself, "is it worth preserving?"

"I'm sorry you find my company and my home so distasteful." He made to withdraw his hand, but Daniel quickly caught it.

"Please my lord, no. It has nothing to do with you. It's me, it's what haunts me. I don't know what I am saying."

"Perhaps you should remain here for the day. You seem distraught."

"Distraction is the very thing I need, my lord."

"I'm not your lord, Daniel, but your friend. Fine, let us go to Altstadt."

"Us?"

"I thought you said it wasn't my company you objected to."

Daniel opened his mouth to ask if the baron could make the long trek there and back and snapped it shut again, sure the question would seem too rude. Alexander seemed to have guessed his thoughts though; there was a small smirk hovering in the corner of his lips and his eyes sparkled with badly concealed amusement. "I can have the carriage meet us there after nightfall. We can take our time in the walk there and perhaps you would not be against taking supper at the lone pub it holds."

"I think that sounds very nice." Daniel still had his doubts, but at least he would only have to worry about his host for one way of the journey.

"I'll go make the preparations then. We'll meet in the main hall within a half hour?" He didn't wait for Daniel's reply before turning on his heels and vanishing into the hallway.

* * *

 

Daniel had forgotten that Alexander was quite hale for his apparent years. Daniel had to stop for rests more that the baron, who would stalk back and forth impatiently, cane slapping a staccato rhythm against his boots as he waited for the younger man to get his breath back. "Are you ready at last?" His face was expressionless though his voice held a small hint of peevishness.

"Yes, I really am truly sorry." Daniel stood up and swayed. Alexander's hand immediately caught him under the arm to steady him. "It's been a while since I've…" his voice trailed off, embarrassed for Alexander to see him as weak yet again.

"How ever did you survive Algeria, my friend?"

"I was taken with heat stroke often." He glanced away. "For most of it actually."

Alexander chuckled. "My frail beauty." He kept his hand on Daniel's arm and began to lead him once more along the road, walking stick now resting over his shoulder. Daniel was too distracted by the thought that the cane had been a mere affectation than a tool to bristle at Alexander's comment.

"They made me use a parasol actually. I think they were sick of having to carry me to and from the dig sites every day." He flushed as soon as he blurted it out. Why did he add that horrible detail?

Alexander threw his head back and laughed.

"I was very thankful that they at least attempted to take some of the ruffles off of it. And that it wasn't pink."

"I think I would have liked to have seen that." Daniel found himself pulled against the older man, his arm slung over Daniel's shoulders in a way that could only be termed companionable. He frantically wracked his brain for more humiliating stories he could share as they made their way to town.


	4. Chapter 4

"I miss music," he mumbled into his beer stein.

"Do you play? What instrument? You're welcome to play my piano or harpsichord, but if you need another instrument I am sure I can-"

"No. No, thank you. I mean, I don't play anything. I miss going to see performances."

Alexander took a pull from his stein. Daniel watched the other man's throat work as he swallowed the appalling liquid, the play of muscles and shadow in it. Such a beautiful thing. He wondered why it didn't seem as marked by age as the baron's face.

"Daniel."

"Yes."

"You're staring at me."

"Sorry!" He blushed, averted his eyes.

A chuckle and a warm curl of fingers around his hand. "I didn't mind. But we might…Ah, well. Who cares?"

"Who cares about what?" Daniel turned back to Alexander, his fingers catching the man's own when he tried to pull away.

"It truly does not matter. I was about to make a small jest but you might have thought it in poor taste."

"What? Tell me, please."

"I was going to say that we might be giving the townspeople much to talk about."

Daniel's brow creased in a frown. "Whatever do you mean?" Again the baron tried to untangle his hand from Daniel's and again Daniel stubbornly held on. He seemed to give up and let his fingers entwine with the young man's with a smile. "Never mind."

Daniel looked around the pub, noting how many of the patrons had left once they had entered. The few that remained were trying their hardest to ignore their existence. "Are they upset by my presence?"

"How could you ever upset anyone by your presence, Daniel?" Alexander took another drink of the awful beer. Daniel had tried to match the man in his cups but gave up when he realized that the more he drank the more vile it became.

"I thought maybe my being a stranger to these lands." He shrugged. "It is the same in my town, Mayfair. Strangers are seen as suspicious and the quicker they leave the better is the most common thought."

"Hm. I don't think it's that."

"Oh." Daniel's face fell. "Do you think they can sense it then? My…taint?"

Alexander's eyes widened. "No! A thousand times no. Don't upset yourself so. No one but me can sense your affliction."

"Are you sure?" Daniel's voice was almost a wail.

"Yes. I think it's my presence that is casting a shadow over their evening. They have no love for Brennenberg."

"Why not?"

Alexander studied Daniel's face, looking for signs of sarcasm but finding only honest confusion. "They think it a cursed place."

"How could anyone think it cursed?" His voice rose. Several of the patrons sitting closest to them winced and slunk further down in their chairs. Alexander didn't try to hush him, seeming bemused by his outrage.

"You yourself tried to escape it today. Do you not find it dark and dreary?"

"No! I fell in love with it the first time I laid eyes upon it!"

"Truly?" Alexander's eyebrow rose. Taking it to mean the baron didn't believe him, Daniel clutched the hand he was already holding with the other.

"I did! Don't think me a liar, please! I thought it something from a fairytale."

"One about an evil lord that must be vanquished no doubt. Hush, hush." He quickly added seeing Daniel's face go distraught. "I believe you. I believe you and am thankful you find my home so appealing. Don't be distressed." He brought Daniel's hand up to his lips to place a quick kiss on his knuckles. Daniel blinked. It was Alexander's turn to avert his eyes.

After a moment he cleared his throat. "To return to our previous topic, I never took you as a music aficionado. Do you like symphonies, the opera?"

"Anything, everything." Daniel wanted to disentangle their hands, to rub the cooling patch of skin and prove to himself that he had not imagined it. "I would take my sister into the city when she was well enough and we would see whatever was playing, whatever I could afford at the time. If I couldn't get us into any of the cheapest seats at the halls, I would sneak her into a pub where some lively band was playing. She was like me; anything was a delight, an escape."

"And did you need much escape in your life?"

Daniel closed his eyes. "She liked the operas best. I think because they told stories. The love stories she tolerated, but the more fantastical the better. She'd be ecstatic for weeks if one had some mythic themes to it. Gods, fairies-"

"Deals with the devil?"

Daniel laughed. "She loved fairytales too. Maybe that's why she took to them so. I was always partial to the symphony. I tried to explain to her that you could make up your own story in your head when it was just music, but I don't think she ever understood."

Alexander smiled. "That is very like you."

"You, my lord? I know you play the instruments scattered around the castle, though I've never heard you, so I assume you also enjoy music. What is your passion?"

"I have no passion for the music here."

"What do you like then?"

"I can tolerate some opera and some of the less ornate of your symphonies I guess."

"Oh." Daniel tried to hide his confusion. "What do you play then?"

"Whatever I can remember from my…younger days. Whenever a nostalgic mood overtakes me."

"I would like to hear you play."

"And you shall, though I do not know if you would care for it."

Daniel rested his head against his forearms. "I'm sure I would. I am sure I would fall in love with anything you liked."

"You are too kind to me at times, Daniel. I wonder if you realize how cruel it can be."

"Hm?"

"Don't fall asleep here. Come. I am sure the carriage will be waiting for us on the edge of town by now."

"I'm not drunk," he protested as Alexander helped him rise to his feet. He only wavered a bit and that could easily be blamed on his fatigue from the walk to town.

"I am not suggesting that you are. Here, put your arm through mine. Help an old man to his carriage." Daniel realized that the baron was supporting his weight and not the other way around. He also realized that if not for Alexander to lean on, he would have fallen to the floor. Oddly he couldn't remember a time where Alexander had seemed happier.


	5. Chapter 5

Inside the carriage were piles of fur blankets. Daniel crawled under them, grateful at the servants' forethought for it had grown cold with the coming of night. Alexander fussed with the furs, making sure Daniel was completely covered. He took his seat on the lone bench the carriage had, but after it had pulled out of the town, he sunk down beside where Daniel sprawled. A hand began to rub soothing circles against his back. "Do you truly love Brennenberg so?"

Daniel squirmed so his head was poking out. "I told you I do."

The hand left him. The carriage came to a sudden halt. "Come. Get up. I wish to show you something."

Protesting sleepily, Daniel let the baron drag him out into the chill.

The carriage had halted on a hill, all of Brennenberg and Altstadt could be seen spread below them. He shuddered at the stillness of the night. The dark seemed to press in on them on all sides and the cheery lights of the town were too distant to offer any comfort. He felt his breath begin to quicken.

"Look." Alexander extended his arm to encompass the scenery below.

"At what?" Daniel hugged himself, inching towards Alexander for warmth and the assurance that another human being might keep the dark things at bay. The baron put an arm around him and pulled him close. Daniel thankfully let himself be tucked into Alexander's side. His breathing was still faster than normal, but his heart was no longer banging painfully against his ribs.

"Do you see Brennenberg? My town of Altstadt?"

Daniel nodded.

"I own everything that you see here in addition to the lands of two more towns to the west. Did you know that?"

"Do you? That's admirable." Daniel wanted away, wanted to be safely tucked back in his room in the castle with the fire roaring high.

"What would you do if there came a day where you could have ten times as much as this? If you could live in a keep twice as large as Brennenberg, and so much more elegant and luxurious than it that Brennenberg would not be fit to be its shadow?"

"Is there such a place?" Daniel closed his eyes and let Alexander support most of his weight. "I find it hard to believe that there could be such a place."

"Would you like that?" Alexander persisted. "To live somewhere where you could be kept in a manner that you deserve?"

"Not really, no."

Alexander stiffened. "You'd have three times as many servants to answer to your every whim, so much wealth you could buy whatever took your fancy and being the…companion of the lord of such a place would afford you a good deal of power and prestige."

"I told you, I wouldn't want it."

Silence. Daniel could hear a fox cry in the brush and after a while the death scream of a rabbit. Alexander spoke between clenched teeth, "Can you tell me why?"

"I like Brennenberg. I wouldn't want to move away. I just want to stay here. It's enough for me. This is the manner which I would best be kept I think."

"You said Brennenberg reminded you of something from a fairytale. My… this other castle would truly be something fantastic to you. It would thrill your heart and seem as if it were conjured from the picture books you read as a child. You would fall in love with it, I know, and Brennenberg would fade to a pale shade in your mind, a place best forgotten."

"Don't talk about it like that. I love it, even if there are grander places out there." Daniel waved his hand in the direction of the castle. "It would sadden me to leave it."

"Why?" Alexander's voice was small, tight.

Daniel shrugged as if the answer were obvious. "It's become my home." He ducked his head, flustered by his presumptiveness but continued. "And I like there being only enough servants to keep us fed and the place tolerable. It feels like we are the only two there at times. That's all I've come to need of late: food, shelter…a dear friend. If it weren't for the dreams, the knowledge that what stalks me comes closer with every nightfall, I would be so very content. Almost the happiest I've ever been I'd say."

Silence again. No cries rent the night this time. Daniel looked up at the stars shining frostily down on them. It had been a long time since he had taken the time to notice stars. He remembered telling Hazel if she listened closely she could hear them sing. He wondered if she ever, while he was in Algeria, escaped the watch of the sanatorium nurses and crept outside on starry nights, holding her breath, straining to catch the slightest hint of sound. If she ever thought of him when she did. She would have been a girl of fifteen when she…She had probably been too sick to wander from her bed or too grownup to believe in her older brother and his lies.

He felt a tear course down his cheek. He turned into Alexander and rubbed it away on the satin of the man's red coat. He realized he had his face practically buried in the other man's chest when Alexander's other arm wrapped around him, enfolded him in an embrace.

"You don't even notice that you've brought me to my knees since you've arrived. I watch you as a man starving as you flit and flutter around my castle like a bird I've captured and forced to live in the ugliest of cages, not even offering me a scrap that would ease this hunger you've caused. And when I am in the deepest of despair of you, for you, you unwittingly give me such hope."

Lips brushed his ear as Alexander continued. "And if I had to leave Brennenberg? Would you follow? Would you live in such a place as I've described, though it be grander than your normal tastes, if it came about to be mine?"

"You would be there?"

"Of course."

"That would be all right then, I guess."

Alexander pressed a kiss to his temple. Daniel squirmed, still not used to the over demonstrative nature of the Germanic people.

"If you would let me, I would stay by your side forever." He paused. "But I don't have forever though, do I? Sometimes, after my dreams, I am left with the impression that I will be lucky if I survive to see the season turn to fall."

"Don't say that. There are…other methods we may try to stave off the Shadow. Ones we haven't tried yet. You won't like them, but I assure you they will be the only way to save you now. Have faith in me, Daniel. The events that transpire here may turn out to surprise you. But you would come with me in the end? You would give me your word that you would?"

He nodded though he didn't understand what exactly Alexander was talking about. It seemed to be the right response, for Alexander's arms tightened around him to a degree in which he thought his very ribs would snap.

He regained his composure and held Daniel from him. "We should go back to the castle now, Daniel. You're freezing." He briskly rubbed Daniel's arms. "See how you shiver? Let us go."

Daniel found that the night wasn't as intolerable as it at been a while ago. With his friend at his side, it gave him the sense of safety to enjoy the nostalgic feelings it conjured. He wanted to stay longer, he wanted to remember other nights he talked under these stars with Hazel and he wanted to make new memories of enjoying them with someone who had become like a second father to him. "Just a bit longer." He dug in his heels as Alexander tried to pull him back to the carriage. "The stars are so pretty tonight," he offered in lame explanation.

"You aren't even looking at the stars." Alexander sighed. "Come, let's sit down then. I find I can't refuse you anything when you pout like that. Let me put my coat around you. Don't refuse it. I am more adapted to this climate than you."

"For all your grumping at me, you're smiling like the cat who stole the cream."

"I am very happy right now. I think tonight you have made me the happiest man in this world."

Daniel let Alexander arrange him so his head was tucked under the older man's chin. They sat thus in comfortable silence for a long while. Alexander began to hum a melody, lilting and haunting, almost unearthly. It would be heartbreakingly beautiful on a harpsichord. As Daniel drifted off to sleep in Alexander's arms, he had the strange thought that if he had been a woman he would have suspected he had just been proposed to tonight…


	6. Chapter 6

"This is what you've been doing to stave off the Shadow? This?" Daniel looked down at the corpse by his feet. The disgust on his face was apparent, and Alexander bristled at it.

"I think a life to save a life is more than a fair trade." He held out a hand to help Daniel to his feet-the man had collapsed halfway through the ritual, either through the energies they were summoning or at witnessing the methods that had summoned those energies. Daniel ignored Alexander's outstretched hand and rose shakily to his feet. Alexander clasped his hands behind his back to hide that they were now clenched into fists. "It's not as if they were anyone important, Daniel. They were only-" he almost said the word 'humans' but caught himself in time, "criminals. Yes, murders, rapists. I told you one of the functions of this keep was a jail for the towns nearby. Why not make use of them instead of letting them waste away in my dungeons? Let them serve a more noble purpose than they ever did in life."

"You're killing people and not cleanly. The way that man screamed before he-" Daniel shook himself. "Where is the nobility in an act such as that?" He gestured at the corpse.

"I think saving your life is an act that is more than noble, more than righteous."

"But it wasn't just this one, was it? It wasn't 'a life for a life' as you put it. How many lives have you taken before tonight to save mine? I've been here…two weeks already. Have fourteen men died by your hand already? And there is to be more. From what you've said this is not the last, there will be more. How many? How much blood before that damned thing that chases me will be appeased? Answer me!" His voice had been rising gradually during his tirade until he was shouting.

"I do not know." Alexander said, his voice low and emotionless.

"I can't-" Daniel rubbed his face with the back of a shaking hand, not knowing if the wetness that came off on it was sweat or tears. "If a life must be paid for by these means…" He shook his head. "surely such a life isn't worth the saving."

"You're hysterical. Calm yourself." He moved toward the younger man, arms reaching out.

Daniel closed his eyes and stepped back, waving him off.

"You do know," Alexander spoke slowly, as if treading carefully with his choice of words, "that it is not just your own life I labor to save. When I decided to harbor you, my own life became imperiled as well."

Daniel's head jerked up, eyes wide. Alexander brushed his thoughts and was pleased to see the faces of Dr. Tate and his professor Herbert were flashing in his mind. "So it's not purely for altruistic reasons that I do these unpleasant deeds."

"If I go, if I leave…"

"You said you never wanted to leave Brennenberg." He left the 'and me' unspoken but was sure it was understood. He couldn't keep the accusatory tone out of his voice and Daniel flinched at it. "Besides, did leaving save any of the others you went to for help?"

Daniel shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself. Pleased that he was able to turn their argument to his favor, Alexander reached out again and put a hand on Daniel's shoulder. His physical ministrations weren't brushed away this time, he was pleased to see. He tightened his hold and pulled the young man closer to him, too far to be an embrace but close enough that he could feel the heat of the other man's body. It was an effort not to purr, not to close the distance between them, but he didn't want to frighten. And he didn't know how he would react if Daniel rejected him again.

"They were…bad people?" His voice was small, child-like.

"The vilest of the vile, I swear it."

"And I just have to be present for these rituals?" Such distaste in the last word. "Just watching, no…participating?"

The silence was almost a physical being. Daniel gave a soft moan, his head falling forward to bury in Alexander's shoulder. Before Alexander could bring up his other hand, could take a step to press his body against Daniel's and comfort the shaking man, Daniel had regained his composure and had gently pulled away. Alexander let his hand fall away, trying not to let his disappointment show.

"Fine. Should we do something with… Shall I help you…?" His eyes fell on the body.

"Yes. Help me carry it to the morgue." He moved to take what had been a hulking brute of a man in life by the shoulders and waited for Daniel to take the feet.

"I didn't know castles had morgues."

"Castles have many surprises. This one more than most I expect you'll find out soon enough."

"How did you…" He cleared his throat. "How do you know how to do these things, these rituals?"

There was a long pause. "I read." He was almost appalled that Daniel seemed to think this an acceptable answer.

After they had disposed of the body-there was a small episode when Daniel observed just how many bodies there were in the morgue- Alexander led his guest, now turned pupil, upstairs. Daniel's enthusiasm over the elevator on the ride down was muted on their return journey. His young brow was furrowed in thought, mouth set in a small pout, looking for all the worlds like a small boy trying to work his way through the answer of 'why is the sky blue?' It was adorable. He only hoped that Daniel wasn't trying to add up the corpses in the morgue or else he would have to think up a clever lie as to why, if he averaged a body a night, there appeared to be more than the fourteen that Daniel's stay would have accumulated. He was honestly surprised that the boy had bought into his lies so readily, such a guileless young man. Alexander brushed a lock of brown hair from his face; Daniel was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice.

They arrived at the ground floor, a screech signaling the end of their journey. "Will you be all right tonight by yourself?" He cursed himself, hoping the boy wouldn't read into the question the blatant offer of his bed that it was.

Daniel shook his head. "I…don't think I will sleep much tonight."

"You can't spend the whole night brooding, Daniel. I won't allow it."

"It's not a matter of brooding. His screams, I can still hear them. How can I sleep with that in my ears?"

Alexander clenched his teeth, roughly grabbed Daniel by the arm and led him up the stairs, veering for the halls that led to his rooms rather than Daniel's.

They didn't talk until Alexander pushed Daniel into a chair and turned to the cabinet. He pulled from it a vial of clear blue liquid. He hesitated and then went over to the jug of water by his bedside. He poured an ample amount of the liquid into a glass and diluted it with the water before thrusting it into Daniel's hands with the order, "Drink."

Without asking what it was, Daniel complied. He made a face. "What is it? It tastes of alcohol, but also somehow medicinal."

"It's laudanum." He held up a hand to stop Daniel from putting the glass down. "A small dose. It will help calm your nerves enough to sleep tonight."

"Really?"

"Do you think me a liar?" I am.

"No," whispered. Daniel downed the rest of the drink in one gulp. Trusting little fool.

"Good boy. Come lie down for a while."

"I told you I'm not tired. I can make it to my own room." But when he tried to get up his knees gave out from underneath and if not for Alexander's quick hand under his arm, he would have fallen to the floor.

"Just for a while. Rest."

"But where will you sleep?" Even as he protested, he let Alexander lead him to the bed and fuss over him until he was stretched out, shirt loosened and covered with blankets.

"I think I'll manage."

"It's a big enough bed and we're both men."

There was a long silence. "Don't tempt me, boy," Alexander snarled at last, but Daniel was already asleep. His dreams, for once, were untroubled. Not so the thoughts of the man that watched him until dawn.


	7. Chapter 7

"I can't. I'm sorry." Daniel mumbled stumbling away from the room.

"Daniel. Daniel!" Alexander ran after him, catching him by his arm.

Daniel jerked away, whirled around to face him. "You might have convinced me to become a monster, but there are depths I will not sink!"

"I don't understand. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong you ask." Daniel laughed, hid his face behind his hands.

"Talk to me."

"Do you truly not understand why I'm upset? Are you that fallen into depravity that you can't conceive of the reason?"

"Explain it to me." Alexander said between clenched teeth. "You've had no problems previous nights."

Daniel flung a hand out at the room he had fled from. "It's a woman! How can you ask me to…to do these things to a woman?"

"Is that all?" Daniel bristled. "How chivalrous of you to imagine that women are incapable of committing fiendish enough acts to merit our attentions."

"There is nothing she could have done to-"

"She's a kidnapper. And a murderess." Alexander studied his nails in the gloom. "Do you require the details?"

Daniel shook his head, looking disgusted. "I won't touch her. It borders on…perversion."

"So you think I take some sort of pleasure from this! How dare you!" Alexander seized Daniel by his shoulders and shook him. "I do this out of necessity. I do this for you. For us!"

"Sometimes I wonder." Daniel gasped as his back slammed against the wall, breath driven out of him by the force of the shove. He wrapped his arms around his waist, hunched over, struggling to breathe.

"Go back upstairs. I'll do this alone tonight since it pricks your sensibilities."

"Alexander-"

"I said leave!" Alexander turned back into the torture chamber, slamming the door behind him.

Daniel sighed and made his way unsteadily back to the surface.

 

The woman had been a good choice on the Gatherers part. Her capacity for suffering was almost endless, more from the very thought that anyone could believe her capable of her crimes than the tortures themselves. She had been a mother and the accusations that she had hurt children, held their innocent little faces under the waters of the lake until their thrashing quieted and they became still, was agony. Yes, this one would last them a while. They wouldn't even have to give her the amnesia potion to keep the suffering fresh.

Alexander almost tripped over the huddled body on the floor in front of the stairs. "Daniel? What are you doing here? I told you to-"

"I tried, but the darkness. You took the lantern with you." Daniel's voice was small, pathetic. The anger and annoyance evaporated from Alexander's heart to be replaced with pity and no small amount of shame.

"My poor boy." He set the lantern down at Daniel's feet and sat down beside him. They sat in silence, each trying to figure out how best to break it. Alexander wanted to apologize but didn't want it to seem to excuse Daniel's earlier behavior. They were pressed for time and if they wanted the gate open before the shadow reached them, Daniel couldn't pick and choose his victims. They had to take whatever the Gatherers could find and the pickings had become meager; too many stories about wanderers disappearing, too many merchants never returning home. People were taking shelter as soon as the sun set now, damn them. There were also other reasons that Daniel needed to learn to obey him without question. That thought brought a smile to his lips. He slowly stroked a hand over the boy's hair, hoping that would work as apology enough, that small, soothing gesture.

"Who is that?"

"Hm?" Alexander ran the brown hair through his fingers, fascinated by the play of light off the strands, the silk feel of it.

Daniel leaned away. "That man there." He pointed at the corpse-like figure strung up almost as if in parody of the crucifixion. "I've been staring at him for almost an hour. Who is he? He looks dead but…It's almost as if I can hear him. Faintly. But he doesn't even have a jaw…" Daniel trailed off, realizing that he sounded mad.

"Daniel, there's nothing there."

"Don't lie to me! He's th-" Daniel turned to look at the hanging man. There was nothing there but an empty alcove. "But-"

"You fell asleep and dreamed. I'm not surprised this place would inspire such horrible images."

"It seemed so real."

"Let's get you upstairs and into bed. I'll fix you your tonic of laudanum. It'll keep the dreams away." He pushed himself to his feet by making use of Daniel's shoulder. "Come."

Daniel got up slowly and even slower followed Alexander up the stairs, his eyes kept glancing backwards at the empty alcove.

Alexander coiled around the boy's thoughts protectively, lashing out at Agrippa's attempted mental link. He felt Agrippa's cry of pain and smirked, glad his back was turned to Daniel so the boy couldn't see it. _Mine_ , he snarled, seeping the word in malice. _You might not be strictly alive anymore, but I can still hurt you_. A curse, a flash of despair, and the small tendril of thought that had tried to take residence in Daniel's mind slunk back to its owner.

The second time Alexander stumbled over Daniel that evening was in the hallway outside his study. The older man was startled to see the object of his desire to leave his research almost right outside of his door; he had been on his way to check on the boy, to make sure the laudanum had taken effect. He uttered an oath.

The boy was looking out the window, out at the forest that stretched out as far as the eye could see. When there was no reaction to Alexander's presence, the baron put a hand on his shoulder. "Daniel?" He shook him. "Are you sleepwalking?"

"What? No. Just lost in my thoughts."

"You should be in bed." Daniel shook his head, tried to pull away, but the baron was faster, a hand like iron wrapping around his wrist. "Daniel, what is wrong with you today?" He sighed.

"I-" Daniel turned to face him. Alexander let go of his wrist as if burnt. He took a step back.

"My god, what have you done to yourself, boy?"

Confusion clouded Daniel's blood smeared face.

Alexander loomed over him, hands cupping his face, turning it so he had to meet the baron's wrathful eyes. "What did you do?"

"I-"

"Where did you hurt yourself? Tell me this instant!" He ran his hands over the blood crusted clothes, trying to feel for rents in fabric, tears in flesh.

"Oh!" Daniel burst out laughing. Alexander blinked, hands frozen on the boys hips in surprise at the outburst of mirth. "I'm not hurt! This isn't mine!" He was smiling. It had been days since Daniel last smiled and the baron could feel his heart shudder to a stop.

"Whose is it then?"

Daniel gently pried the hands from his hips and pressed them together in his own. "I acted out of place today. I came to apologize to you."

"That is all well and good, but why in the name of your god are you covered in-"

"You've done so much for me, are doing so much for me, and I threw it back at you like the most spoiled of brats."

"Daniel, please, whose-"

"I couldn't sleep. Even with the laudanum I couldn't bear to sleep with the thought that you were angry at me. That my willfulness could cost, not only my life, but yours as well and all those who stay in your lands."

"The bl-"

"So I went back to the chambers below."

"You did what?"

"I went back. By myself." He let go of Alexander's hands and held his up at eye level. "I tried to make up for lost time."

Was that the glimmer of tears in his eyes? Or the beginnings of madness? The hands fell to his sides. Then the tears down his cheeks. "Is it all right? Please don't be angry, tell me I did the right thing."

"I'm not angry Daniel, I never really was." He embraced him, pulled that lithe body until it was flush against his and each shiver wracked him as if it were his own. "There now. Peace, child."

He kept murmuring meaningless platitudes into the boy's ear until the sobbing subsided. He could feel Daniel's breath, hot and moist, against the bared skin of his chest. Quickly, but gently, he pushed the boy from him, but still held him firm by the arms. "I will order the servants to run a bath. We need to clean you up before putting you away to bed."

"It's the middle of the night. It's too late for a bath, surely."

"You're filthy. Besides, the servants here never sleep."

 

Daniel sat on the edge of Alexander's bed, watching with dull eyes as the servants came bearing the wooden bathing tub and buckets of hot water. He wondered if the servants were related. They all seemed to have the same face when you looked at them closely enough. And if you looked closer still those faces seemed almost mask-like, floating above whatever visage was their real one. He closed his eyes. He shouldn't have drunk the second laudanum tonic. It made his mind delve into such strange depths.

"Don't fall asleep, Daniel. The bath is almost ready. Come, stand." The baron shook his shoulder, didn't let go of it until Daniel was on his feet. Fingers still quick for their age began to undo the buttons on his shirt. Daniel muttered a protest, stepping back and almost stumbling over the bed.

"Get undressed, the bath will be finished when you're done."

"I can do it myself."

"Then do it yourself." Alexander crossed his arms and leaned against one of the many bookshelves in the room.

Daniel sighed and tried to manage the buttons on his own. His fingers felt twice their usually thickness and their usual dexterity seemed to have taken up hiding somewhere. After the fifth attempt, Alexander stepped back in and undid them in seconds. Shirt removed, those elegant fingers moved in a brusque manner to the fastening of his pants.

Daniel balked again, only this time Alexander seized him before he could move away. "Don't be such a child."

"Why do you have to be present for this? I can bathe myself."

"You would banish me from my own rooms?"

"No, but…"

"I'm worried about you. You've had twice your normal dose of your tonic and you seem…distracted more than usual today. For my own peace of mind, please." He gestured at the tub and Daniel realized that the servants had left them alone in the baron's room.

"It's embarrassing." He kept one hand clenched on the waist of his pants. The situation was appalling, that he was so feeble in spirit that he was reduced to having another grown man watch over his hygiene. The baron wasn't affected thus and he had been doing these horrors for two weeks longer than Daniel!

"You have nothing to be embarrassed by." Alexander traced along the protruding bone of Daniel's collarbone. Daniel's shoulder slumped in defeat. He let go of his last modicum of modesty and walked to the tub. "Nothing at all." Alexander muttered behind him.

The water did feel good and the combination of the steamy liquid and the warmth of the fireplace lulled him into a doze within minutes. He stirred himself as a cloth was dipped into the water and then brushed firmly over his cheek. "You don't have to go that far. Just go read something. Don't you have research to do?"

An angry growl was the only spoken reply. The cloth was dipped into the water again and his other cheek attacked.

Daniel opened his eyes, mouth opening to protest again, and almost recoiled at the closeness of Alexander's face. Their noses were almost touching and from this distance the annoyance in the old man's eyes was blistering. He sat back on his haunches, clutching the rim of the bathtub for support. "You were falling asleep, Daniel." He paused, eyes lost in thought. When he started again it was the bright, brisk tone he adopted whenever he was telling Daniel something he wouldn't understand... or like. "Let's get your hair and face clean first and then I'll let you relax in your water until your heart is content. You can do the rest whenever you can be bothered to stir yourself. Is that all right?"

"Why can't I do my hair with everything else after I relax for a while?"

"Because I have to look at it and it's disgusting."

"Fine." Daniel snapped in answer, realizing he really did sound like a petulant child protesting his bath time.

The frown lines in Alexander's face eased into a pleased smile, or as close as the baron ever got to smiling. "Thank you. Move forward enough, so you can lean your head back. Yes, like that." A strong hand cupped the back of his neck. "Close your eyes." Warm water was poured over his hair, trickles of it working down his face. He tried not to fidget. Another scoop of water and then Alexander's fingers, slick with soap, were working through his hair, combing out snarls with a dedicated patience, massaging his scalp.

Daniel was almost purring, the hand on his neck the only thing keeping him upright."You like that, don't you?" Was that a teasing lilt in Alexander's voice? "Such a good boy." No, something darker. Amazement? Wistfulness? _Hunger_. Daniel started. He must have fallen asleep. The last word seemed to have not been his own, had felt out of place in his head as if planted there by someone else.

Alexander didn't seem to notice. The soap had to be all washed from his hair by now, but the baron was still carding through his hair, brushing it back from his temples.

"All done?"

"Yes." Regret in that one word? _Oh my yes, boy_.

Daniel shuddered. "I'm going to close my eyes for a bit. I'll finish in a few minutes."

"Yes, yes of course."

"You can go read or go to sleep if you want. No need to let me keep you." Daniel watched with a trace of unease as Alexander settled on his knees, elbow resting on the lip of the tub and propping up his chin.

"You're not keeping me from anything I would rather be doing right now."

Daniel frowned, closed his eyes and sunk down so his head was resting on the lip of the tub. _Really? You're going to go to sleep, naked, in front of a creature that looks at you like that? Your preservation skills are a sad sad affair_. He grimaced and tried to push the other thoughts away from him, surely some strange effect of the tonics. _Fine, don't heed my kind advice, sleep in the beast's den. See if I care if you get devoured._ He drifted off. And dreamed.

He dreamed he was a wolf cub, tucked against the warm, protective curve of fur and muscle. A raspy tongue was being run along his limps, his back, down his throat and chest. He made a muddled connection that the cloth Alexander had had felt similar, and then the thought was lost, too much effort to hold on to, to let himself be stirred to wakefulness by it.

The morning sunlight woke him. He was clean and in his own room with no memory of how either feat had come about; Alexander and the servants, no doubt. Or maybe he had been able to gather together enough of his own energy to do it himself.

The next night he didn't hesitate when Alexander led him to one of the rooms and the woman was waiting for them. His lips pressed into a thin line as Alexander bade him choose the methods they would be employing for the evening, but that was all the protest he gave.

She screamed. Lord, how she screamed.


	8. Chapter 8

Alexander studied Daniel in the low light of the morgue. The young man was bent over the corpse of their most recent visitor, connecting the apparatus to drain the life essence out of her so it could be converted into vitae, a small frown marred his brow as he concentrated to make sure he did everything perfectly right; he always took such pains to please. Daniel glanced up and, observing that Alexander's gaze was upon him, flashed a small smile. It was a pale echo of the smiles he used to give Alexander and his heart constricted at the thought.

"Come, that is enough for tonight. I have had enough of this place."

"But the vitae."

"You have the blood, we can distill it tomorrow. Just set it there."

Daniel shrugged, setting down the jar he had collected. He began to gather up the tubes, but Alexander grabbed his hand and pulled him away. "I said leave it."

"What has come over you tonight?" Daniel shook his head, annoyed, but let the baron lead him through the halls to the elevator chamber.

Nothing but the whirl of the machines that powered the elevator disturbed their silence. Daniel gasped, cocked his head to the side as if listening for something, a habit he had recently acquired, but whenever Alexander inquired if anything was the matter, he would start and quickly assure that everything was fine. The baron had quit asking. That didn't stop him from worrying though. He pulled the lever, halting the elevator midway to the ground floors.

"Why did you stop us?" Daniel asked, more curious than concerned.

"Daniel, I'm worried about you."

"There's nothing to worry about. I keep telling you I'm fine." He wouldn't meet Alexander's eyes when he said it.

"You hardly look fine." He murmured tracing a dark circle under Daniel's eye with his thumb. "It looks like you've given up sleeping altogether."

"I try to sleep as little as possible. My dreams are…disturbing."

"The Shadow? You hear its call coming closer."

"Yes. And no. Most times I dream of it, but…"

"Go on."

"I dream of my past. Of my sister. What she would think of what her brother has sunk to save…" He broke off, biting his lip.

"Daniel, Daniel." The baron soothed. "She would understand. She loved you with all her heart and would have wanted you to do anything in your power to save yourself."

"Surely, anything but this."

"We've been over this time and time again. I grow weary of it."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry." He cast his eyes down, studied the gold embroidery on Alexander's coat, reached out to trace it with one finger. "How do you know she would accept it? This preservation of my life?"

"Let's just say that when it comes to you I'm certain she and I would have a few similar views."

He nodded. "Can you tell me how much longer? Just a guess so I might steel myself."

"A week or two, Daniel. The end of August at the most."

He looked up, eyes wide. "It's come that close to us?"

"I thought you could tell. Even I can hear it baying in the night now." He brushed a lock of Daniel's hair behind his ear, traced a finger down his cheek.

"Are we ready yet?"

"No. Not even near ready. But we will be." He hastened to add, seeing Daniel's face collapse into despair.

"And you'll be safe as well? I don't want…" He looked away.

"Don't want what?" He tried to gentle his voice, to be coaxing.

"I have this fear at times. About you."

"You think I would betray you?"

"No! How could you think I would think that?"

Alexander smiled at the vehemence in the boy's protest. "What then?"

"That you would…You seem fond of me. Overly so at times."

A pause. "And?"

"You won't…You will survive this too, won't you?"

"What?"

"I have this fear that you won't. That you'll do something noble and…" He took a breath. "I have no family anymore with my sister's passing, none I would care to claim at least, and in the months since I've come here, you have come to mean something greatly to me." He looked up then, meeting Alexander's eyes. "I don't want to be alone in the world again."

"Oh, my silly child, come here." He pulled him into an awkward embrace; Daniel's was back stiff. "Remember that night we went to Altstadt? Do you remember what you promised me?"

"Yes."

"Do you honestly think I had no intention of holding you to it? Of not living to see it collected upon? I won't leave you or lose you to something as paltry as this shadow."

"Don't belittle it. I've seen what it can do." Daniel tried to pull away, but the baron held firm.

"And so have I. It and I are old acquaintances; I know it well and of old. Trust me when I say that it's a shoddy construct from Earth's more primordial days, a shambling corpse that should have had the decency to find its rest eons ago. We'll defeat it, easily. We just need to hasten in our gathering of vitae."

Daniel nodded, still doubtful. Alexander tapped his chin and smiled. "It will all be fine. Trust me as you always do."

Daniel's only reply was that odd jerk of his head to the side, eyes distant as if hearing something only he could. He was frowning, lips pursed.

Alexander sighed and pulled the lever again. Maybe all the boy needed was sleep. Sleep and an end to his nightmares.

 

The woman from the dungeon, dead for days now, was wading out into a river holding the hand of a small girl. Daniel called out to them, rushing into the ice cold water. He had to prevent the woman from doing what she was about to do, if only he could save one life, just one! He neared them and finally his cries were heard, they turned. He stopped, breath clawing at his lungs, horror at his heart. The woman was holding Hazel's little hand. They both looked at him calmly, a bit amused.

"Stop. Don't do this." He whispered.

"But Danny," Hazel tilted her head to the side, brown curls swaying. "I asked her to."

Tears stung his eyes. "Why?"

"Because it's better than living in the same world as a monster like you." The woman answered in Hazel's voice, she grabbed the girl's shoulder and shoved her sweet face under the water. Hazel began to thrash, to beat at the water with her tiny fists. Daniel screamed. He ran faster, fighting the water that seemed to be pushing him back, fighting it with every fiber of his being. When he finally reached the woman, Hazel was no longer fighting. She lay still under the woman's hands, hair bobbing in the current. "You bitch! I'm glad I killed you! I'm glad you died!" He shook her, hands wrapping around her throat.

"The wrong person died that day, Danny." She smiled, but what looked out of her eyes wasn't the woman, wasn't Hazel, wasn't even human. The Shadow. Daniel whimpered. "You walked into a war, and chose the wrong side. You can still make amends though." Claws sunk into his flesh, searching for his heart.

Daniel woke up gasping. He had known better than to lie down for a few moments. He had known! The dream had been horrible; they were all horrible of late. _You could stop them you know._ That reasonable voice said in his head, the one he was sure wasn't his. _You could creep into the chambers deep beneath Brennenberg and steal back that which Alexander stole from you. Give it back to that abomination. Free us all from this horrible cycle._

He moaned, pressing his hands to his ears. He was mad, he had to be mad. If he could have stopped the Shadow with something as simple as giving the orb back, wouldn't Alexander have told him? _He's a liar! He wants it for his own selfish ends. Give it back!_ Daniel shook his head.

He needed the laudanum, he needed more of it. Unfortunately that meant wandering down dark hallways and waking up Alexander to ask for it. The old man refused to let Daniel have his own supply in his rooms for some reason and it was damn inconvenient for them both at times. The voice kept nattering away, begging, cajoling, and lecturing. He couldn't last until dawn like this.

He swung his legs off the bed. He debated throwing on clothes, but decided that he didn't need to be decent at this late hour and hadn't the baron agreed that this was Daniel's home now? He made sure the nightgown was buttoned properly, then taking a deep breath, threw open his door to the darkness that waited outside. He debated just shouting for Alexander and hoping that the man could hear him through a corridor of stone or that the servants would go fetch their master to silence him. Picking up the candlestick with trembling fingers, he made his way down the hall.

Sometimes he wondered if the baron ever slept. As soon as he knocked on the door, more like grazing it with his knuckles than a proper knock, it was thrown open and he was being ushered inside. "Daniel, what is it?"

"Nightmare."

"I'll make some tea." Alexander picked up the dressing gown that had been thrown over one of the armchairs, and wrapped it around himself. "Stand by the fire, boy. You should be freezing. What possessed you to walk around dressed just in that?"

Daniel didn't answer, but did move closer to the fire. "It's so thin I can almost see through it. Here, put this around you at least." A heavy blanket was draped over his shoulders. He smiled his thanks. Their hands brushed as Daniel settled it better around him, Alexander sprang back. He strode off, muttering about hot water and a kettle.

Daniel sunk into one of the chairs, pulling it closer to the fire. He drew his legs up and tucked them under the blanket. The flames were a reminder of more cheerful times and he watched them with yearning. How often had he and Hazel snuggled under a blanket and watched the small fire in their small home? How many times had he regaled her with tales before it to try to get her to forget the pain in her chest, the cough that wracked her frail, little body? He missed his sister. He missed many things.

"Don't sink into melancholy. Here. The tea." Alexander thrust a cup and saucer at him. Daniel blinked at it, took it. His hands had developed a slight tremor lately and the cup rattled, spilling tea onto his hand.

Alexander took it back and set it on the small table beside him.

"I'm sorry." He lowered his eyes back to the fire, ashamed.

A hand smoothed his hair. "Don't be. Something is troubling you more than these nightmares of yours. Tell me. Let me help ease whatever problems you have."

"You'd think me insane." Daniel shook his head.

The slightest pause, "I would never think that Daniel. Tell me." Daniel hid his face in his hands. "Daniel." His voice was harsh. He made an effort to soften it. "You told me once that I helped ease your pain and troubles. Does that not hold true anymore?"

"Of course it does!" Daniel raised his face, looked at Alexander in shock. "Now more than ever before! Your friendship has become as necessary to me as breath, as my blood."

Alexander smiled, flattered. "Then tell me."

"It's…It's as if, recently, I think things that aren't my own thoughts. Like a voice that comes from outside of me, but I can only hear it inside here." He pointed at his temple." Madness, am I right?" His voice trailed off into a whimper; Alexander's expression was wrath personified.

"No, you aren't mad and I will deal with this. Now."

He turned, heading for the door, but was stopped by Daniel's hand upon his arm. "Can't it wait until the morning? Don't leave me upset."

"I'm not angry at you."

"Please, then, stay. I can't bear to be alone."

Alexander leaned against the arm of the chair. "If you want it so, then so shall it be." He was stroking Daniel's hair again. He seemed very fond of petting Daniel, not that it was minded. It was calming. Affection had been meager in Daniel's life and when he came across it he always craved more. He shifted so his shoulder was against Alexander's side. When the baron didn't move away, he leaned more of his weight against him. "What shall we do with you tonight, hm?"

"May I have some more laudanum?"

"You may have some tea and then you may go to bed."

Daniel shuddered. "Can I…Can I sleep here tonight?"

The fingers in his hair stilled.

"I can sleep in the chair. I've slept in worse places in my travels."

"You're so very fragile, Daniel. You'll be bruised all over come morning and stiff as a board. You may have the bed."

"I don't want to turn you out of your own room again, my friend. Here is fine."

"You won't. You mentioned before that the bed was big enough for two. I am sure we will manage somehow."

"Thank you." He whispered, shame at his weakness overcoming him.

"We will discuss this…problem you have more in the morning. For now, if you won't be finishing your tea, we will retire for the evening."

Daniel snuggled under the covers, luxuriating in the feel of them. They felt grand, finer than anything he had ever had growing up. Alexander slid in beside him, his face unreadable. "Do you feel tired yet?"

"Not really."

"Do you wish for me to read to you? Just for a few minutes."

"I would love that." Daniel thought of his reading to Hazel to comfort her and his heart was warmed that someone would ever do the same for him.

"It's another of Goethe's works. I hope you don't mind."

"I'm starting to develop a fondness for him." He smiled and closed his eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

The fire had been built high before they went to bed, more for the light than the heat. Alexander awoke to sheets and blankets kicked off and his hand upon a bare thigh. Still half asleep-the lovely dream he had been having still tangled with reality-he forgot himself and pulled the pliant body closer to him despite the warmth of the room. He buried his face in the boy's neck, always bared in sleep, top buttons always come undone with his tossing and turnings. He gave a playful nip and grazed his teeth over the boy's collarbone. Daniel stirred and protested sleepily. Alexander pulled himself away, trying not to give voice to the whine of protest he felt. He wanted. He had never wanted so badly and as entertaining as the pain of waiting was-the knowledge that when he at last won his prize the delayed satisfaction would make it that much sweeter-it was beginning to wear thin.

He raised his head and rested in on his hand studying the features he had grown to love so well in a matter of weeks: the ever so slightly crooked nose, the straight brow, and the thin lips. Alexander traced over each of these features with a careful finger. He cursed the mating rituals of this world, Daniel's country, for being so slow and ponderous.

Daniel whimpered in his sleep and Alexander withdrew his hand. The Shadow sending its nightly reminders that it wanted the orb returned or another, more meddling, intruder? Alexander could deal with the latter right now.

He debated waking Daniel to tell him he had business downstairs. He didn't want the young man to wake up alone and think that Alexander had abandoned him, but it was rare for Daniel to sleep through the night. If he could finally get a much needed full night's rest, Alexander didn't want to rouse him.

Alexander slipped from-what he now thought of as- their bed. He grabbed his dressing gown from where he had thrown it and pulled in on as he walked out of their rooms. He had some unfinished and much satisfying business to attend to below his dungeons.

 

Agrippa, to all appearances, looked like an emaciated corpse. He hung unmoving from the shackles that bound him to the wall, naked and neglected, another forgotten victim in a place that had had its fill of them. Alexander crossed his arms and glared at the jawless monstrosity before him. "I see you've been tampering with my guest's mind again."

The corpse shuddered; Alexander could hear faint laughter in his mind. The corpse raised its head slowly as if that small motion pained it. "I've been trying." He admitted.

"I warned you what would happen."

"And I know you have no intention to follow through on that particular threat. You still need me."

"Do not be so arrogant. Your usefulness ran out years ago."

"Then why do you keep me here? Why don't you just let me die at last?"

"Because I like watching you suffer. Your despair was one of the few things that made my life bearable."

"You always liked to collect the most macabre of trophies. But I fear I am replaced in your affections now. You have a new less worldly companion to make your life bearable." The telepathic voice was mocking and Alexander bristled at it.

"You flatter yourself."

"Yes, you never wanted me for my physical attractions, and in that I differ from my replacement. To you my mind and my understandings of how this world works were what were most appealing."

"And that much praised mind, the brightest of its age, fell short of my expectations."

Dry laughter. "I told you what you wanted to learn. It's not my fault that it was something you didn't trust."

"My apologies that I was too smart to play the fool in your and Weyer's games."

Agrippa sighed. "I wasn't lying, I wasn't trying to dupe you. You could have been back to your beloved home centuries ago if you could have just trusted someone other than yourself."

Alexander thought of Daniel, thought of a reality where they had never met and a future that would not contain the two of them together. "I think things have worked out satisfactory, regardless."

"Yes, that poor lad. If only you had trusted in Weyer and myself, we could have spared him the misfortune of having met you."

"He would consider himself greatly fortuitous to have met me."

"Because he doesn't yet realize that the fate you have planned for him is akin to my own." The chains clinked in the oppressive gloom of the chamber.

Alexander opened his mouth to protest, but Agrippa cut him off. "Oh yes, I know you intend for his prison to be much more lovelier than mine, a place of silk and sunlight and beauty, but in the end he'll still be chained in a world not his own to a monster he cannot escape."

"I grow tired of you."

"And I, you. Let the boy go. Let it be the one decent thing you have ever done in this world. Give him the orb and free him, both from the Shadow's curse and from your company, your affections." The last word was spat out. "I've seen the boy's mind. I've wandered the halls of it while he dreams and I know he has done nothing to deserve you and what you are making of him."

Alexander smirked. "Do I sense some jealousy, old friend?"

"Ha!"

"Well, thank you for sharing your opinions on the subject of Daniel. I'm afraid I cannot comply to them though and also think that Daniel himself would not be too keen on my following your advice."

"And that is because he has yet to see what lies behind that mask you wear."

"If he can look at this aged façade," Alexander waved a hand over his face, "I think that physical appearance is the least important of the attributes by which he judges people."

"I'm not talking about your face or even your real form, Alexander, I'm talking about the mask you hold over your soul. It's a black, self-serving thing. When Daniel finds out what you really are, what you've been capable of-"

"Then he'll never find it out. Which brings me rather neatly to the purpose of my visiting you at this late hour." Alexander grinned and the mask of his humanity fell away. "Let's stop your meddling in my lover's head, shall we?"

 

Daniel stared at the rain, cheek pressed against the stone pillar holding up the awning that was keeping him dry. He shivered and thought momentarily about going to his rooms to change into more proper daytime attire, but he didn't want to walk all that way. He didn't want to chance stumbling across Alexander with his concern and brusque well meaning. It was nice to be alone with his thoughts, and for once they seemed to be his own thoughts. The voice that had plagued him in recent weeks had been silent these past few days. At first he thought it was a blessing, but then another idea had occurred to him: what if it meant he had finally accepted his madness? That he had become used to the pain and death he caused every night, had come to accept it? Maybe the voice in his head had been his dying sanity pleading with him to stop, to turn back before he went past a point of no return.

There was nothing more depressing than a garden in the rain. He should go in, read one of Alexander's many books or help with the shoring up of the castle's walls. "Daniel?"

He pulled away from the cold comfort of the stone and turned to face Alexander. "Yes? Did you have some need of me?"

"I've been running through the halls to find you." He approached Daniel in quick, long strides.

"Again I ask, did you have need of me?"

Alexander stopped, hands clenching. "I was worried about you."

"Oh." Daniel turned back to the rain and the roses.

"Oh?" He could feel the heat of Alexander behind him and fought the urge to lean back into it, to let the baron warm the chill in his bones. "Don't dismiss me so cavalierly. You've been avoiding me of late and it's driving me mad. I know you've been sneaking into my laudanum cupboard. I can smell it on you even now."

"And what exactly are you concerned I'll do? Go into town and tell the outrider our dirty little secrets?"

"I'm afraid you'll do yourself harm." Daniel closed his eyes, but it made the hurt in the baron's voice more clear. "When you're not in our rooms or in the library the image of you fallen, bleeding, comes into my mind and it tortures me. If you call out for me and I cannot answer it, if I stumble across you too late…"

"And what would your solution to this be? Have me tethered to your side at all times like a faithful hound?"

Aged fingers clenched in the fabric of his dressing gown and shook him. "Don't throw my affection for you back in my face."

"I'm sorry."

Alexander tightened his grip when Daniel tried to step away. "That's not good enough. You do not disrespect me."

"Again, my apologies."

"Tell me. Tell me all your thoughts. How can I help you if…Just let me help you."

He kept his eyes closed, pain twisting his features. "You can't help me, I was a fool to ever think you could." He evaded the baron's grasp by the expedient gesture of shrugging out of his captured dressing gown. He walked out into the rain, the cold drops drumming against his bare flesh. Closing his eyes, he tilted his face up into it.

A sound from Alexander-a gasp or a sigh- and Daniel wondered if he was offending the baron's sense of propriety, but his friend had seen him nude before, had bathed him and sat on the bed they shared watching him as he changed clothes. No, the man was no prude. He turned and glanced over his shoulder. His dressing gown was twisted in the old man's hands as if he were trying to strangle it. His eyes, those strange eyes… The way they looked at him sometimes, the way they were looking at him now… Like a creature starved. He thought of the voice and its lewd warnings.

"I wish I could wash away all my sins with just this." He held out his arms to the rain.

"Oh, Daniel." The wine colored fabric slipped through his fingers and he strode out into the rain.

Daniel turned from him. "Don't."

The baron wrapped his arms around him. He always forgot how tall Alexander was until the man was looming over him. Alexander pulled him against his chest, leaning down to press his cheek against Daniel's. "You have nothing to be cleansed of. You're beautiful."

"I'm hideous." He half-heartedly tried to shake off Alexander.

"And where is this hideousness of which you speak? As I see you now, in my arms, you're perfection. Where is this abnormality, which of your features do you find so ghastly?"

"It's inside of me." The baron's hand slid down his chest and rested over his stomach. The contrast between them was startling; Daniel had become so pale these last few weeks; Alexander's complexion was now darker than his.

"I'll never understand your people's obsession with the soul and the state of it." He splayed his fingers out, covering as much of Daniel's flesh as he could. "I don't think anything as pure as your spirit could be tainted."

"Stop with the empty platitudes. I grow weary of them."

"I have never praised you without meaning it with all of my heart, Daniel. Nor have I ever made you a promise I didn't intend to keep."

"Let me go."

"Never."

Daniel tried to pull away one last time, but was wrenched back. "I am not what you think I am. Please, just let me go back to my rooms."

"And I said I'd never let you go. You grow weary of my compliments, I grow weary of these fits of childish melancholia."

"Childish!" Daniel attempted to elbow Alexander, but couldn't manage it due to how tightly pressed together they were.

"Stop this obstinacy at once." Daniel was spun around; Alexander's hands on his upper arms holding him like bands of iron.

He couldn't meet the baron's eyes, so paid attention to the hectic color in the baron's cheeks, the way the wrinkles darkened when he pulled his lips back in that near snarl, the way his chest was heaving.

"Why don't you hate me? Why do you still call me friend? Why do you…go to such lengths for me?"

"You should know the reason for that by now."

Daniel shook his head. "Stop. The affection you have for me is ill founded I tell you."

"And how could my love for you ever be termed ill founded? I know you Daniel, I know you better than anyone who has ever known you."

Daniel closed his eyes. "You don't know me. Not all of me."

"Then I will with time. It is something I will earnestly look forward to, learning about you."

"Truly?" Daniel tried to sneer, but it came out more of a grimace. "Will you let me tell you a story then? A small sample of what is to come."

"Please." Alexander cradled the back of his head and stepped forward, once again holding Daniel against him.

"When I was a lad there was another boy who lived in my village. He was one of those children that are hulking brutes even before they reach maturity. He terrorized us; even the adults avoided him if they could. He hated me the first time he laid eyes upon me. He called me…effeminate." A soft hum from Alexander and he brushed away the wet hair plastered to Daniel's cheek. Daniel clutched the baron's wrist and held the hand against his face. "He beat me." He whispered into Alexander's palm. "He took…unwholesome satisfaction in it. And I was younger than he and weaker and could do nothing but live day to day with the inevitable shame of it."

"Children are cruel."

"Yes, yes they are. I snapped one day, you know. That day the beating had been especially harsh and I was… already poorly from the previous evening." His father had given him thirty lashes with his belt. "I was lying in the mud of the street, bleeding and broken and something in my mind, the fear perhaps, died in me. As he was kicking me, taking his enjoyment of my pain, my hand found a rock. I fought back for the first time in my life. It felt so good, I couldn't stop myself. I just pounded and pounded and pounded into his face, thrilled that he was the one lying in the muck for once. The other children who had been too afraid to stop it were now cheering me." He fell silent, lost in his memories. Alexander's thumb brushed under his eye. They were so close he could feel the baron's breath on his face.

"He was bed ridden for weeks afterwards. He lost an eye, his cheekbone was smashed and when it healed his face was malformed. Whenever I saw him in the streets I would feel a sense of sick satisfaction. I had won, for the first time in my life, I had won. I knew why he had done it now, that terrorizing. It's such a heady power, to realize that you hold someone's life in your hands, that you aren't the one on the ground. It's a perverse feeling." He met Alexander's eyes. "It's how I feel in the torture chambers now: relief that it's not me in those shackles, joy that with each of their screams I am buying myself another day of life. I'm the strong one for once. When I am down there punishing them for their sins I am as like unto a god as a moral man could be." He smiled and it was a tired thing. The rain hid his tears.

"I'm not anything pure, Alexander. There is nothing of beauty about me. I killed it dead over a decade ago."

"Hush, my love."

"I'm not your love and again I tell you that this fatherly love you feel for me is poorly placed."

Alexander opened his mouth to protest, but Daniel silenced him with a hand placed against his lips. "Please don't. I couldn't bear your kindness another moment. I will do all you ask of me. I won't protest against what we do anymore, no fears to that. But please don't judge me for what it will turn me into."

"I know it's hard for you. I do, Daniel, but once it's all over we'll live the rest of our days in redemption for it. We'll honor the dead with each breath in the sunlight we take, with each smile you give to me, and we will know that their lives weren't given in vain."

Daniel nodded. He let Alexander tuck him under the older man's chin. "Let us get you inside now. A warm bath and a warmer bed is what's called for tonight. And from now on you will not leave my sight."

"Yes, Alexander." His voice was dull, resigned.


	10. Chapter 10

"Stupid boy, you're still much too timid. Look, your hand is shaking."

Daniel gritted his teeth. "I'm sorry, Alexander. It may be due to my not having eaten since we broke our fast this morning. I assure you I am keeping my word. I'm not hesitating to do my duty to you anymore." He smiled down at the bound man on the table. He patted him on the head. "Do not fret. This won't take more than a few minutes."

"You're spirit is still weak. You offer comfort when you should be instilling fear. A soul at peace gives us no sustenance that we can use."

"I know!" The man on the table whimpered. Daniel glanced down at him. "I wish you wouldn't chastise me in front of our…guests. It's bad form. It undermines me."

"Not much work to undermine the authority of a man who weeps like a child every night."

"Please, Alexander."

"Oddly, I don't think you mind this as much as you say you do. It's an excuse to share my bed, to burrow into my arms when you think I have fallen asleep, isn't it? Tell me, is it because you wish for the comfort of a father? Or is it the comfort of a lo-"

"That is quite enough, Alexander!" He threw the glass that would have collected the vitae against the wall. His breath came in hard, jagged pants as he stared down at the fragments, the light of the candles reflected in them. Alexander fell silent at last.

The man struggled with his bonds and tried to inch away, which brought Daniel out of his daze. "I am sorry. That was very unprofessional of me, I do know. I don't think he'll interrupt us again. Now let's get on with this, shall we?" Daniel brushed his fingers over the knives spread out on the table beside him. He selected one and held it up so the man could see it. He smiled as the terror bloomed in his eyes. "Yes, I think this one will suit. Do you want me to remove the gag? I would love to hear your protestations of innocence. I am always in need of a good laugh these days."

When the screams finally stopped, Daniel set about his work with a smile, humming a tune he vaguely remembered from his childhood.

"Daniel, you made a mess."

Daniel looked up from the bloody ruin that used to be another human being. "I'm sorry. I just lost control. It's your fault; you kept nagging me, goading me…" He put a shaking hand to his forehead.

"Daniel," Alexander lowered his voice, made it gentle. "I just arrived. You've been in the Nave alone for at least an hour and after I told you not to wander off."

"What? But then who…" He looked around the room, confused. "Oh." He set the knife down and walked towards Alexander. If the baron saw the unsteadiness in his gait, he chose not to comment on it. He watched Daniel approach, his eyes glittering in the scant light, the lines of his face cast in deep shadow. He looked more like something carved out of stone than a man, but when Daniel reached out and cupped that weathered cheek his fingers brushed flesh. Alexander sighed, eyes half closing. "Oh, you're real then." Daniel's thumb traced a wrinkle along the baron's mouth.

"And were you in doubt of that?"

"I think…I think I had one of my little turns again. I'm terribly sorry." He started to remove his hand, but Alexander's fingers closed around his wrist holding him in place.

"And what did your brain conjure up this time?" His voice was huskier than usual and Daniel shuddered as the baron's breath ghosted across his palm.

"You, my lord. Alexander." He corrected himself.

"You had a hallucination of me? How extraordinary. Pray, tell me what this illusion of myself did to stir such," his eyes looked at the ruin on the table, "passion in you."

"Nothing remarkable. What you always tell me."

"And what I always tell you leads to this degree of violence in you?"

"No, of course not. It's just that I allowed myself to be worked up. I haven't eaten since breakfast and, well…"

"You're dreams again?"

"I have them when I'm awake now. I see what it wants for me, what it has done to others like me. Every time I close my eyes or look into the shadows these visions are waiting for me." He pulled his hand away and turned his back to Alexander. A strong hand wrapped around his shoulder. "I did make a complete wreck of him, didn't I?" He sighed. "But I did get the vitae. I think you'll be happy with the amount."

"We'll process it and then go upstairs for dinner."

"I'm not that hungry now."

"You'll eat something. For me."

"For you." Daniel echoed, reaching for the jar beside the body.

 

"Daniel," a voice called out to him from the fog. He moaned and tried to roll away from it, but hands clutching his shoulders prevented him. "Daniel, what in the hells have you done?" The voice was snarling, barely human. He pushed against a thin chest, but again to no avail; he still remained held fast. He opened his eyes.

"Alexander?"

"Of course, you idiot." Despite the harshness of the words, he was being cradled in the baron's arms and rocked as if he were a child. "What happened here?"

"The laudanum cabinet, you locked it." Daniel's voice was petulant. He bit his lip, shamed as the memories came back. "I'm sorry. I was overcome and… It's the only thing that helps anymore."

He felt Alexander sigh. "It seems that the lock wasn't a very good deterrent. It never occurred to me that you would find the solution to it would be to overturn the whole damn thing."

"I cut myself." He pulled away enough to show Alexander his wounded hand.

"Yes, pet, you did. In fact you're still lying in the broken glass from it. Stand up, let me look you over."

Daniel tried but the room spun something terribly and he was forced to quickly sit down again. Another shard of glass bit into his thigh. "Ouch."

Strong hands under his arms forced him up onto his feet. He slung an arm over the baron's shoulders without having to be asked. "Just let me have another vial."

"You've had quite enough. I am surprised you didn't kill yourself, fool."

"Sometimes I think it would be a blessing."

Alexander halted. Daniel had to cling to him, his momentum almost unbalancing him. "If you ever talk so lightly of your own death-"

"You'll do what? Watch me even more closely than you do already? Lord, I can barely get enough privacy to use the chamber pot as it is."

"And look what has happened when my eyes left you for a second." he shrugged off Daniel and tossed him back against the wall. Daniel winced as his aching head hit the stone. "It's not an incentive to leave you to your own devices."

"I'm not a child to have to be chaperoned every hour of every day."

"Obviously you are!" Alexander snarled. "I can't leave you alone with the prisoners without you getting confused and butchering them before they are ready, I can't leave you alone in our bedchamber without you deciding you can't live with the guilt anymore and trying to throw yourself out the window." He ran a hand through his hair and pulled at it. "I am at my wit's end, Daniel. If you have a solution to how I can leave you without you doing yourself a mischief, I'd love to hear it."

"I guess you must resort to tying me to the bedposts."

Alexander wrapped a hand around Daniel's throat and forced him to look up. "Do not be flippant with me, little one. I am in no mood. And besides," he pulled Daniel back into their bedchamber, "I think that would make me even less inclined to leave your side."

 

It had taken ages before he could coax the boy to sleep. He had refused to give Daniel any more of the laudanum, but did allow a glass of warmed brandy. By the time Daniel was done sipping at it, he was dozing against Alexander's shoulder. Alexander muttered a prayer of gratitude to gods he no longer believed in and began to undress his charge. He went to the wardrobe and selected a nightshirt. He glanced over his shoulder at the altogether too pleasing picture the boy made curled up on his bed and let it slide through his fingers. It was late and they were tired. If he built up the fire and made sure Daniel was tucked in under the blankets well enough the boy wouldn't hurt for the lack of clothing.

Alexander attended to his own needs before he retired, then slid underneath the sheets beside the slumbering creature in his bed. Recently the only time that Alexander could find any amount of solace lay in the brief hours that the boy was asleep.

"Am I fighting the Shadow only to lose you to yourself in the end?" He traced a fingernail along Daniel's bared neck. It tempted him to press kisses to it, to graze the long graceful line of it with his teeth. When they finally did make love the boy and he wouldn't leave the bed for days, he vowed. Every inch of Daniel would show some proof, some mark, that Alexander had loved him and that they had revered every moment and every act of their mating.

His fingers clenched in the sheets. He wanted to shake the boy awake. Stop the sleepy protests that would ensue with tongue and teeth. Or better yet, awaken the boy with kisses trailing over his chest and down down down until he could wrap his lips around-

Daniel sighed in his sleep and turned over on his stomach. A good expanse of his shoulder was exposed and Alexander bit his lip to keep from moaning. He traced over a scar. The boy's back was a mess of them and every one of them was dear to Alexander. Each wound had reinforced the boy's desire to escape his gloomy Mayfair and seek out adventure, every one of them had ensured he would one day find protection in Alexander's arms. How could he not be thankful to them and find them beautiful? He leaned over and kissed the deepest one, shot his tongue out and lapped at it.

He stilled as the boy made a small sound and thrust into the mattress and wasn't that the dearest thing? More kisses and a nip and surely he could rest his weight against that lovely little body, surely he could writhe against the boy's thigh and not wake him if he did it slow? The thought of finally finding release after months of agony, nose buried in the boy's hair, his scent everywhere, was too much for him and his teeth closed a bit too hard on a shoulder blade.

Daniel whimpered and turned over. He blinked up at Alexander, still on all fours over him. "Was I having a nightmare? Did I waken you?"

"No." He cleared his throat, tired to make it less bestial. "I was already awake."

"Oh." Daniel ran his fingers through Alexander's hair, the back of his hand resting against his cheek. "Are you feverish? You look flushed."

A dry laugh. "I am well. You shouldn't worry about…me." He leaned closer, head tilting and eyes falling almost shut.

Daniel squirmed. "Your hair. It tickles."

"My apologies." Alexander brushed his hair over his shoulder. He wanted nothing more than to tear the blankets away and make Daniel move more, have the boy's hands fist in his hair as he lapped at the thin bones in his hips, tongue tracing that small trail of hair that started under his navel and went down to…

Daniel rolled over, back to Alexander. The old man sighed and lowered himself down onto the mattress. He hesitated then wrapped his arms around Daniel, pulling the boy to him. Daniel settled against him, the small movements of his getting comfortable causing Alexander to close his eyes in bliss.

 

Alexander paced in his study. "What do you mean you couldn't find anyone? Not even a child picking flowers, a woman washing her clothes in the river?" The creature before him remained silent. "You imbecilic thing!" He picked up the nearest object, a vase, and threw it. It missed the construct and hit the wall, shattering. He was shaking with anger that needed to be vented and the damnable thing didn't even have enough intelligence to fear for its life. The prisons were empty for the first time since he had taken up residence in the castle and the shadow had found its prey at last. The gate was still lacking what it needed to open and Daniel…Daniel was still very much marked, tainted by his humanity.

"Am I interrupting?" Daniel inched into the room, eyes darting between Alexander and what his mind would tell him was a manservant.

"No, we're done. Everything is done." Alexander threw himself into his chair and lowered his head in his hands.

"I've never seen you so melodramatic before, my lord. My friend." A trembling hand on his arm made him look up and into Daniel's anxious eyes.

"We've run out of prisoners and the devil is well and truly baying at our door. I don't know what to do. You're still…" He reached out and cupped Daniel's face. "I need to protect you and I don't know how."

Daniel smiled and it broke Alexander's heart. If he had ever doubted that his feelings were returned, they were put at ease by what he saw in the boy's eyes: forgiveness, absolute, horrible forgiveness. "You tried. You did everything you could and I thank you for it."

"Don't. Please Daniel, don't. I can't bear it." He brushed off Daniel's hand and rose to his feet. "There has to be a way. Something I'm missing." He stopped his pacing and stared at Daniel. "Something I am overlooking because I am afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

Alexander brushed a strand of hair from Daniel's face. "Of what you will think of me."

"And does it matter so much, my opinion of you?"

"It's one of the only things that matter anymore. But I would trade your esteem and gladly if it meant that you would still be able to draw breath to curse me."

"Alexander, confide in me. What are we to do?"

"There is a family that lives on the edge of Brennenberg." He began. And Daniel listened with a smile.


	11. Chapter 11

"Shut up. Please." Daniel rested his forehead against the coolness of the bars in the door.

"I will not, sir." The woman was terrified, but hiding it admirably. The reason for her strength was peeking out from her skirts. Such a thin, ratty face, the girl had. It reminded Daniel of someone, if only he could think around the blinding headache. "I want to know," She took a breath. "I demand to know what has happened to my husband."

"And I have let you know a hundred times before that he is in audience with the baron and his men."

"For what are we being held? What possible reason could the lord of Brennenberg have with us?"

"Baron Alexander has need of your services and seeing as how the residents of Altstadt have always eagerly waited upon the lords of Brennenberg, you won't begrudge him your time."

"You're wrong." The child spoke up for the first time. Daniel's eyes opened and he frowned down at the wretch.

"You are not loyal to your baron?"

"Hush, Sascha."

"But mother, he's wrong. There are no lords of Brennenberg. There's just the one, there's always been just the one. All the children in the village say so."

Daniel burst out laughing. "You think him something akin to one of those Romanian demons, a vampire? He is flesh and blood, I assure you."

"That may be sir, but he's no mortal man. He's lived centuries."

"Sascha!"

"Sascha, is it? I am weary of children's tales. I shall leave you for the night. Please enjoy the accommodations."

"Sir, where are my brothers? Sir?" Her mother hushed her, crouched down and smothered the child's face into her ample bosom.

Daniel walked away, rubbing at his temple. The headache had been brewing since they had started out for the settlement. It was escalating into a maelstrom of pain. He needed to lie down. He needed to drink some laudanum and maybe rest his cheek on Alexander's knee, have the old man stroke his hair and hum one of those strange songs he knew until Daniel drifted off to sleep. He needed Alexander. Alexander made everything right.

A thought struck him and he paused in mid-step. Whirling around, he retraced his path and thumped on the door. "Why are you speaking to me in English?"

The woman was now seated on the bed, her daughter resting in her lap. "Pardon?"

"English. How could a peasant family in the backwaters of Prussia know the Queen's tongue?"

The woman studied him with her flat black eyes for a long moment. "I have no knowledge of your tongue, nor do my husband and my children."

"But just now, right now, you speak it!"

"We are speaking German." She said it slow, as if gauging how each word would affect him before letting it drop from her lips.

"I do not know German, madam, and I understand you perfectly and you, me!"

"You are also speaking German. For someone who claims not to speak it, I had thought you a native."

Daniel pulled away from the door as if burned. "This is impossible! I-" But wasn't it strange, now that he thought of it, that all of the prisoners had pled for their lives in English, that he had understood each and every curse, cry and entreaty that had been uttered by them. Most of them with little more intelligence than the common cur you'd find in the gutter. There was no way that such an element could be bilingual, no conceivable way that Daniel could understand them.

His head was agony. Alexander. He needed Alexander now. He tried to run, but tripped over his own feet. He fell, but was able to catch himself before he knees met the floor. Keeping a hand on the wall, he stumbled towards the ascension room chamber. The stones were slick with slime under his fingers and the torches seemed to be darkening before his eyes. He took a breath, held it, and released it slowly. It wouldn't do to hyperventilate. The lights weren't dimming, the stones were not running with blood, and there was no way he had suddenly sprouted a knowledge of a language he had had no use for before he stumbled upon an accursed orb in the desert.

He rounded a corner, fingers skimming the wood of a sign. The kitchens for the prison. He was close to the chamber, close to being reunited with Alexander, and everything was going to be all- A hulking shape took form from the gloom and he cried out, shrank against the wall. No, there was no need for alarm. It was one of Alexander's men, just one of the ones that policed the prisoners. Maybe the man could aid him. All Daniel needed was some assistance to the elevator; his legs seemed to not want to cooperate.

"Please, my good man-" The shape turned at the sound of his voice and Daniel saw his…its… face. He screamed, or tried too. His voice seemed to have become tangled in his throat and all that would come out was a rusty sounding whine. The thing took a step towards him, an arm extended. It didn't seem to have a hand, just long talons jammed into the raw flesh of a bloodied stump. The world then became very dark and wavy before his eyes. Blessedly it all seemed to fall away and the floor rose up to meet him.

Daniel woke up and screamed. He had no trouble getting out the cry this time. He scrambled backward and his back smacked into something hard and unyielding. Stone? No, wood. And his fingers weren't scratching at the rocks of the prison floor but were tangling in sheets. Bed, he was in bed. Alexander's bed. And it wasn't an eldritch horror in the doorway reaching out for him, but his friend, face almost unrecognizable twisted as it was with concern. He had made him worried. Daniel hadn't meant to make him worry. He tried to tell him so, but all that would come out was a small sob.

Alexander was seated by him in a moment, arms around him, gently guiding his face until it was buried in the stiff fabric of his coat. Daniel gave into the horror he had felt down in the darkness. Tried to let it run its course with each sob and tremble and all the while Alexander murmured soothing platitudes and stroked his hair. "I was so scared." He kept repeating.

"There's nothing for you to fear here." Alexander gently responded each time.

Finally, after what seemed like an hour, he had cried himself out. He kept pressed to Alexander though, ear against the other man's heart, letting the steady and strong rhythm assure him that this was the reality and the prisons were the dream, albeit a horrible one. "I think I'm ill." He confessed in a whisper.

"You do seem feverish." Alexander's cool fingers rested against his forehead. Daniel leaned into them.

"I was in the prison and I saw… That is I thought I was speaking…" He held the baron closer to him. This was what was real, this man and his promises and…

"Daniel, I told you not to go down there anymore without me. What did you see? Did our…guests upset you?"

Those blessedly cool fingers were now in his hair, scratching his scalp lightly, combing through the tangled strands oh so carefully. "Them? No, why would they upset me?" The fingers paused. "Maybe she did upset me a little." Alexander resumed his petting. "What language am I speaking?"

"English."

"And you?"

"English as well."

"I could understand them. They speak naught but German, yet I understood them and they me." Daniel pulled away. "How is that possible?" Tears sprang to his eyes again and his hands shook as they clutched Alexander like a life line.

Alexander blinked, seemingly stunned. "Psychic bleed through." He muttered

"Pardon?"

"Nothing to concern yourself with. I am sure you were mistaken. You've been under a great amount of stress of late."

"Nothing to concern myself with?" Daniel's voice grew shrill. "How can you say such things? I feel as if I am going mad and yet you tell me… I saw, I thought I saw…" He closed his eyes and clutched his head, tugged at his hair until Alexander pulled him into his lap, restrained him.

"Hush, darling, hush. What did you see?"

"A horror." He shook his head, tried to banish the image that he felt would be forever burned into his mind.

"A horror? How intriguing. Whatever did it look like?"

"You wish me to describe it? I cannot. It was…ghastly. As if every creature I had believed lurked in the darkness when I was a child had merged into one being and been given form."

Alexander's hand was shaking when he brought up Daniel's hand and pressed a kiss to the inside of his wrist, right over the point of his pulse. His lips lingered and Daniel began to grow uncomfortable, wondered if this was meant to be a soothing gesture. Alexander seemed to regain his senses. He let Daniel draw back his hand, but still refused to let it go. "You saw one of the Gatherers. One of my men in charge of the prisoners. You've seen them before."

"I would remember if one of your servants had a form such as that!"

The baron laughed. "You've met them all before, Daniel. I'm afraid the stress has quite gotten to you. It was he, the one who gave you such a fright that brought you up to me. Hardly the act of a monstrous abomination."

"It wasn't real? It was all in my head?" Daniel didn't know whether to be relieved that it had been another of his delusions or mortified that his mind was decaying so.

"A trick of the mind and of the laudanum. Drugs can be quite cruel with their effects. I've warned you of this before."

"Yes. You did. I…" He hid his face with his hands. "I want to sleep, I think."

"That would be for the best, as would forgoing your usual nightly tonic."

"Yes, I am in agreement with that. Could I have some warm milk though? Maybe with a shot of brandy?"

"Anything you desire."

After sipping his milk, Daniel let Alexander tuck him in. "I want this to be over. I want this all to be over."

"And it will be and soon, Daniel. Patience."

"Don't leave me."

Alexander settled against him, an arm pushing under his body to wrap around his chest, hands clasped over his heart. Daniel placed a hand over Alexander's and let the other curl by his cheek. "You never have to fear that. Ever."

"Are you smiling?"

"Why would you think such a thing?"

"You just seem like you are. You seem happy."

"You're tired. Sleep. I will entertain our guests tomorrow and you may rest. I have some books on archaeological findings in Greece that I think you might find entertaining."

But Daniel was already asleep.

Alexander couldn't restrain himself any longer. He kissed the nape of Daniel's neck, wished the boy had fallen asleep facing him so he could cover his face with kisses. It was working. After so long with no clear results, he finally had his proof that the rituals were working. Daniel was his or near to it. Psychic bleed through, gleaning knowledge from Alexander's mind and not even realizing it, the little scamp. And the Gatherer. The glamour he placed on his servants should have held up to the scrutiny of any human, no matter what their mental duress. But Daniel had seen it for what it was, what it really was. His little Daniel was losing his humanity at long, long last. Now Alexander could focus on getting the portal open and them through it before the Shadow came a-calling for his pretty lover.

He closed his eyes and let Daniel's steady breathing lull him into a doze. He entertained himself with planning the renovations he would have to do now that he finally had a consort. Technically, Daniel should be housed in the pleasure quarters for form's sake, at least for the first few years, but those were too far from his own chambers to be satisfactory. His chambers were a bit…traditional and hadn't been changed since his grandfather's time. No, Daniel wouldn't like them at all; he'd find them dreary, alarming even. His mother's rooms hadn't been used since she had died. Propriety stated they shouldn't be used until their union was over its first decade, but no one would dare look askance at them in his presence. Tongues would wag at him for instilling his other worldly prize in those rooms and they would wag even further when it leaked out, as such things always did, that Alexander was shunning his own chambers to dwell with his love. Ah well, let them talk. He had never paid such matters heed before his exile and he was not about to start. He let himself drift towards full sleep. It really was almost over. The happy ending to their little macabre fairytale was within reach at last. He smiled in the darkness.


	12. Chapter 12

The room was stifling when he woke up. He had kicked the blankets off sometime during his slumber, but still he felt the sweat trickle down his face. The fire was built up too high. Alexander always had an unreasonable fear that he would catch chill in the middle of the night and insisted on piling on as much wood as was on hand in the damn thing. Daniel had hated the climate of Algeria and didn't understand why the baron wanted to replicate it in his bed chamber. He tried to get out of bed but was held fast by a pair of arms. That's right. He had asked Alexander to hold him, he remembered with a blush, and the old man had obediently done so through the night.

He went about the delicate task of untangling their limbs not wanting to stir the baron from his much needed slumber. He really didn't sleep as much as he should, even though he claimed otherwise. Daniel felt a stab of shame. Most times the reason Alexander didn't sleep was his fault. Finally free, he slipped out of bed and walked as quiet as he could to the wash basin. He splashed water on his face, relishing the coolness of it on his heated skin. A change of clothes was also wanted. The nightshirt he was wearing was sticking to him most unpleasantly.

Opening and rummaging through the wardrobe ran the risk of awakening Alexander, who would insist that Daniel lay back down with him a few more hours until dawn broke. Daniel didn't want that. He felt restless. He was always restless of late. A walk would do him some good, expend the excess of energy that had his heart racing and his mind swirling. He remembered he had spare clothes in the rooms he had first been assigned when he came to Brennenberg. He would go there first then. Funny that he couldn't remember when he had begun to move his meager belongings into Alexander's rooms. They just seemed to have gradually migrated over. Maybe the servants had brought them in after they were washed? But at whose behest? Not his, for sure, so the baron's then. Again he was struck with the oddness of it, but pushed it away. He had had his fill of oddities of late.

A dressing gown was not readily at hand, so he would have to suffer the cold of the halls the short distance to his old rooms. His rooms. Still his rooms surely, though truthfully he had not set foot in them for over a week. The fire was still smoldering in the main chamber of Alexander's rooms. Daniel fetched the lantern and lit it by sticking a straw upon the coals until it caught light. He watched the flame devour the reed, throwing it into the fire when it had almost reached his fingers. Why was he here again? What was he doing out of bed? Oh, that was right. Changing his clothes. Going for a walk. So forgetful lately, Danny, he chided himself, rising, lantern in hand.

His rooms felt strange when he returned to them. They had an air of disuse and abandonment about them, as if they should have been covered with dust and cobwebs. They were impeccably clean still though, the bed even made up with fresh linen. Daniel wondered if the servants knew he slept in their lord's chamber each night. He wondered if they snickered about it in the pantries and the laundry rooms, as they polished the silverware for the evening meal. He was surprised to find that he didn't care. He found solace in Alexander. The man eased him more than anyone he had ever encountered. Not all the idle gossip and slander in the world would make him cast that aside.

But that wasn't right. He cocked his head to the side, staring out at the woods. There had been someone else that had help him when he had wept, had comforted him in the night. Who? Herbert? No, the man had been as a rock to him, but there had been secrets he would have never dreamed to tell his old mentor. Secrets that he easily whispered to Alexander in the night, when the other's eyes were heavy lidded, and his aged hand was running through Daniel's hair. Not Herbert. Definitely not his father. He shuddered at a memory of pain, belt slapping down on his already too abused back, soft and gentle voice pleading for his forgiveness, who damn it?

The image of a young girl filled his mind. Large brown eyes made all the larger through fear, scraggly hair framing her too pale face, too thin to be pretty, too thin to be healthy. He couldn't place her, but his heart stuttered painfully in his chest. The girl in the dungeon had had the same look about her, fearful and timid. But she had been hale and Daniel felt himself growing irritable over it. How dare she? How dare she be healthy and robust when dear, sweet Hazel had wasted away…

That was it, Hazel! It had been Hazel who would take his head and rest it in her little lap when he was too exhausted after the beatings to move from the floor. It had been his dear sister that had dabbed his fevered forehead with water when he was ill and who had listened to the stories he had spun with wide-eyed enthrallment, knowing that the telling of them was also for his calming as well as hers.

Hazel, Hazel, Hazel, how could he have forgotten his Hazel. Dead now. Dead and gone and forgotten by all but him. Almost by him as well. "What has come over me?" He whispered hiding his face in his hands.

He felt sick. The room was starting to spin around him and the shadows seemed to be lengthening, reaching out clawed hands to seize him. Whimpering he flung himself against the window. Alexander, he needed…But Alexander was asleep and could not sense his alarm. His breath was a tangle in his chest. The wards must be weakening. A ritual was called for. But the deeper parts of the keep had been forbidden to him. He was no longer allowed to enter them without the baron by his side.

He drew in a breath, counted to five, released it, drew in another, counted… Alexander hadn't remembered to forbid the prisons. Not expressly. He had only scolded Daniel for wandering off alone, no mention that he couldn't go there again. And they weren't empty. Yes, the brothers and older sisters may have their new and last homes beyond Daniel's reach, but there were still two souls for him to play with this night. He smiled, relieved.

* * *

They hadn't had the perfect family. Madam Zimmermann knew full well that her Mister Zimmermann had only married her because he had had to or else face the wrath of her father and her three brutes of brothers. Sometimes in his cups he'd rail at her for it, how she had entrapped him, seduced him from his one true love. In her younger days it had hurt, but with age she would only roll her eyes and splash water on him if she felt his shouts would rouse the children. Besides, the fights, the arguments and the regrets came less and less frequently these days. With each child he had seemed to grow more content with his lot, more accepting. "It is the ways of men", her mother had told her after she was married and after her first fight with her husband, "to always regret and bemoan the paths not taken."

"And what are we to do about it, Mother?" She had asked, tears in her eyes. She had fully expected a wise saying about love and forgiveness, maybe a quote from the Bible. But her mother's eyes had twinkled, "Take a broom to their damned arses!"

Good advice it had been too, and one she fully intended to hand down to her girls when they came of age. If they came of age. She looked down at little Sascha sleeping in her arms. Her youngest. Her only child now, perhaps. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she rubbed at them angrily. Tears didn't help, tears never helped. Thinking was called for. A miracle… Her eyes fell on the floor, on a small gap between the stones that was showing a chink of light. Thank you my lord of lords.

"Sascha, wake up. You need to help your mother." She had known the moment she had stepped foot in Brennenberg that she was doomed, but she would be damned if she could not spare at least one of her children a similar fate.

* * *

Daniel was humming as he walked down the prison halls. He was terrified of the dark and trying not to remember his previous trip down into their depths. He half hoped that the song he hummed, one he had heard Alexander often sing to himself when he thought no one was about, would work as a charm to drive off the demons, those real and those only in his mind. The tools of their particular trade were further underground in the very bowels of Brennenberg and due to his promise to the baron he could not go and retrieve them. He had stopped off in the kitchens and selected some implements that he had thought would do in a pinch. They weren't as sharp as the ones that were beyond hi s reach now, but they should be fine. Hadn't Alexander told him that the more pain, the more fear inspired, the purer and more potent the vitae?

Rounding a bend he saw the only door with a glow of lamplight outlining it. The Frau Zimmermann and Fraulien Sascha were still awake then. Good. He would lure the madam away with a promise of seeing her remaining children deeper in the castle. Hopefully she would come eagerly, leaving her youngest behind. Daniel would take her into another of the cells and start his cathartic work, making sure that he was still within earshot so the young girl could hear her mother's cries and the vitae would be made all the sweeter.

Then, when the mother had breathed her last he would…He would…kill…. He covered his mouth and hunched over, feeling as if he would be sick. She was scarce into her eighth year of life. He couldn't…How could he have contemplated her death by his hand and been perversely looking forward to it? What kind of monster had he turned into, twisted by his fear and his sense of self preservation? He ran shaking hands through his hair.

No, he wasn't a monster yet. Not quite. He could still do the right thing. For Hazel, in her name, he could still do what was right, even if it cost him his life in the end. Even if it cost Alexander his? That thought gave him pause. The baron was an innocent in all this. He had only sullied his hands for the sake of Daniel. He didn't deserve to die for Daniel's moment of weakness. The mother would have to die, but mayhap not the child. He could spare her. Such a small, insignificant spark of life. Surely whatever vitae she held wouldn't be enough to tip the scales in or out of favor of their salvation. She could be let go and live and have the horror that Brennenberg had become fade from her mind like a nightmare upon waking. How Daniel wished he could do the same.

As he drew closer he heard voices speaking. The girl was pleading with her mother and her mother was answering in short, terse sentences. There was a strange overlap in his head, he knew now that the words were in German, but it was almost as if someone were translating it all into English and speaking over them. What they were saying finally penetrated his bemusement. He ran the remainder of the distance, his hand frantically searching in his pocket for the key. He opened the door in time to see little Sascha's scared face and then she was gone, slipped through a small hole in the floor.

Madam Zimmermann straightened up from her crouch and turned to face him. There was no fear in her expression, only a grim sort of satisfaction. She had won a small skirmish and knew it full well. "She will escape this place. She will leave these cursed lands and fetch the outrider and you and your mad lord will burn for what you have done to my family."

Daniel stared at the hole for a moment, stooped down to study it. Too small for him to fit through. He tried to remember the layout of the floor below them.

"Did you hear me you bastard Englishman? You will burn. I hope they torture you before they do it. In my grandfather's days they used to cut out the tongues of those who murdered for sport before hanging them."

"We drew and quartered them in the lands I come from." He muttered. His eyes fell on a steel bar. The woman must have ripped it from the lone bed in the cell, must have used it to pry loose the crumbling stones. His hand closed around it. "You won't leave here alive." His voice was soft as he stood up and faced her.

She held her head up high. "I know. It does not matter."

"Brennenberg isn't the place for a young girl to wander alone."

"Better to face the horrors of a haunted castle then to receive your attentions." Such a smug look in her peasant eyes, such a horrible horrible self-satisfied air. Insufferable. She had won nothing. He lashed out with the bar. Her head struck the corner of bed when she fell. He knew she was dead and regretted it had been so clean. He poked her with the bar and when she didn't stir, he threw it down.

The girl. The outrider. If she left the castle, if she fetched aid…He thought of Alexander. No, he couldn't have the baron die for his sins. He ran out of the room, schooled his features into an expression of concern. "Sascha, where have you gone? The castle isn't safe at night! Don't you know that there are monsters lurking in the shadows here?" And the very worst wore his face.

* * *

She had been a cunning prey, slipping from shadow to shadow, winding her way through the castle with an uncanny knack. But all chases must find their ends eventually. He finally cornered her in the storage room following a passage he hadn't known existed and bypassing the need for the elevator.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are, little Sascha. You can't hide from me. I can hear you breathing." He turned and tore down a tarp that had been covering some barrels. She squeaked, dashed away. Daniel followed, not rushing. The little fool was running towards a dead end.

"Sascha, Sascha, Sascha." He sang her name.

"Leave me alone!"

"I can't do that, Sascha. You could get hurt here, wandering by yourself. Come here, let me take you to your mother."

"You won't! You'll kill me. You're mad."

"I may be little Sascha, but I'm afraid your time for games is at an end."

She gave a little scream when she rounded the corner and saw the wall barring her way. She beat at it with her small fists, whirled and pressing her back against it when she heard the crunch of Daniel's footsteps.

She bared her teeth at him as if she were an animal when he came closer. He only laughed. "Don't fear. You will be joining your mum soon."

"She's dead isn't she? You killed her."

"I did."

No tears filled her eyes, instead she looked at him with a too wise resignation. "You will go to hell. You will go to hell and you will burn."

"Maybe, but that will be in a long, long time. Time to rest, little Sascha." She attempted to dart around him, but his hand caught the back of her skirt. It ripped and she fell to the ground. Scrabbling at the stones, she tried to gain her feet, but Daniel placed a boot on her back pressing her down. She gasped. He could kill her like this. Crush her with his weight, crush all the breath out of her and not have to lift a finger. "No!" He threw himself off of her, tripping over his own feet and crashing down beside her.

She was crying now. He could hear the slight sobs, her thin shoulders were shaking. Hazel. Hazel had cried like that when she thought no one was looking. And no one had ever noticed. Save for him. "I'm sorry." He whispered, crawling over to the fallen girl. "I'm so so sorry."

She screamed and kicked out at him, foot slamming into face. He fell back, stunned, brought a hand up to cup his nose. "Stay away from me! Murderer!"

"Please, please! Just listen to me. I'm sorry, so terribly sorry!"

"I don't believe you!"

"I will let you go. I will let you leave, but not now. Let me take you somewhere, let us bide our time and when Alexander, the baron, when he says the Shadow is gone, I will-"

She snarled at him, attempted to rise again. Daniel sprang on her, forcing her back to the floor. She bit his hand. He slapped her. Finally she lay still, stunned.

"Please trust me. I know I am a little…scattered at the moment, but I assure you I won't hurt you. Not now. I had a sister you see. A little sister. She looked a little like you. I forget her now and then, but I remember now." He leaned over her, his long brown hair touching her cheeks. "Trust me."

"I will escape. I will find Gabriel and he will parade your head around on a pike. He'll take your damned lord and cut out his heart-"

Daniel seized her by her shoulders and shook her. Her head struck the floor with a resounding crack. "I hate you." She spat at him.

He blinked down at her, spittle running down his face. "Hazel, don't say such things."

"I hate you I hate you I hate you."

He slammed her down again. Again, again, again. Soon she wasn't moving. When he gingerly put a hand behind her head to help her sit up, it came away wet and red.

* * *

"Daniel?"

"Here." Alexander rounded the corner, out of breath. He stumbled to a halt at the scene that lay before him.

"What have you done?" He sounded more exasperated than alarmed.

Daniel was sitting on the floor cradling the too still body of a young girl. Blood was smeared across his face and he had a bruise forming across his nose and cheek.

"Are you unhurt?" Alexander crouched down and lifted a strand of Daniel's hair, tucked it behind his ear. "Put that down. The servants will take care of it."

"She got loose. She escaped. She was going for the outrider."

"Well she isn't going anywhere now. Come away."

Daniel pulled away from Alexander's touch, revolted. "Does this not bother you? I am drenched in the blood of a child!"

"As I have been as well. It is an unpleasant thing that cannot be avoided sometimes. No, no, don't cry." Alexander took Daniel into his arms and pulled his shuddering body close. "I can't abide your tears."

"I broke her. I smashed her little head against the stones and then she wasn't moving anymore."

"I know. Hush. It's all over. I think laudanum is called for tonight, though I know we really shouldn't. Come with me now."

Daniel shook his head, trying to dispel the baron's attempts to sooth. "You don't care. I killed a child and all you care about is getting me back to your rooms so we can…" He shook his head again, raised a hand to his temple.

"What's the matter? Did you strike your head? Let me see." Alexander ran his fingers through Daniel's hair, feeling the scalp for bumps or lacerations.

"It's as if I can hear you…" Daniel looked up at him, eyes wide.

Alexander frowned, resisted the urge to shift his weight in unease. "What is it? Why do you stare at me so?"

"It's a mask. Your…" He reached out a trembling hand, fingertips brushed Alexander's cheek, before he jerked them back. "My god, what are you?" He whispered.

"My…" Alexander touched the cheek Daniel had touched in alarm. Had the glamour failed? No, it still held. Then that must mean… "You can see me."

Daniel whimpered.

A slow smile stretched Alexander's lips. "At last. At long last. The rituals are complete." He leaned forward, Daniel too struck by terror to move away. "We can go home." He whispered against those long desired lips. Their first kiss was as sweet as he had dreamed it.


	13. Chapter 13

Daniel, looking back, wished that he had reacted in some way; a strong slap across the monstrosity's face or, at the very least, gibbering in terror and then passing out. Instead he had sat there as if turned to stone, Alexander's lips moving against his with a great deal of ardor. He didn't seem to notice or care that Daniel was being unresponsive. Daniel whimpered and a hand caressed him hair soothingly, finally cupping the back of his neck and tilting him to better the angle. When Alexander, or the thing that had been wearing the baron's face, sought to deepen their embrace, Daniel came back to himself. He pushed against the thing's shoulders and wrenched his face to the side. He gasped for air.

"Daniel, what's wrong?" Alexander-no, the thing-was leaning closer again, hot breath on Daniel's cheek and he closed his eyes, willed it all to be one horrible nightmare.

"We're… over the corpse of a child!"

"Hm? Oh. So we are."

"It's indecent!" Daniel's voice was high and shrill, he could hear the beginnings of hysteria in it and so to the baron, for the other sat back.

"Set it aside then. The servants will deal with it. Come let's return to my chambers. The halls are drafty. See? You shiver so."

Daniel stared up at the baron. He had just killed a child, hunted her down as if she had been a…an animal and then had beaten her frail head against the stones until she moved no more. And the baron was happy. He was smiling. Daniel touched his own lips with a shaky hand, cupped it over his mouth. "You kissed me."

"I did." The smile was slipping from his face to be replaced with an expression of watchfulness. "I've done so before, Daniel."

"Not like that! Not as if I were your lover!"

"Aren't you?" It was said quietly; dangerously low that voice.

He shook his head. "No. No! We've never…"

"We've shared a bed for weeks now, spent every waking hour together. There is more to intimacy than the sharing of bodies."

"Do you… do you want that of me? To join our…"

Silence, but a spark in those unholy eyes.

"Not like this. Not like… We're both men. This is perversity. I.. I looked upon you as a father." It was said in a whisper, broken and forlorn.

Alexander laughed. It was a sharp bark of sound and when he was done he kept his teeth bared in a grim smile. What sharp teeth you have my lord, Daniel thought and shuddered. "You never. You knew; you had to have known my feelings for you. You teased me enough! Those times you lingered in your dressing when you knew my eyes were upon you, the coquettish way you would smile when you slipped into bed by my side, curling against me like a content cat. You knew." His voice had been steadily rising, it wasn't a shout at the end, but it was implacable, stony.

"I…I cannot deal with this." He looked back at the girl in his arms. "She was scarce the age of my Hazel."

"Your sister was fifteen when she died. Come away. Our emotions are running too high at the moment. Let's go back and drink something to settle our nerves."

"Why aren't you appalled? Why aren't you condemning me for the innocent life that I have taken instead of accusing me of…of impropriety?"

"Trust me, Daniel, impropriety would be very welcome at the moment." His voice changed then, grew lighter and almost wheedling. "But we've succeeded Daniel! She was the last sacrifice that was needed. You're freed from your bonds, from your Shadow. We can leave now."

"Leave?" Daniel stroked the hair off of her smooth cheeks, so pale in death, so still.

"As you have promised me. Is human memory so fleeting a thing?"

He closed his eyes and remembered a night under stars, but that promise had been made to a different man, under different presumptions. "What are you?" He asked opening them. "What have I been a party to, what have I made a pact with?"

Alexander drew himself up, his smile now a snarl. "I am no demon. I am simply a wanderer who strayed from his path and could not find his way again. But you helped me, my love, you helped me find it again. We can go home."

"I will go nowhere with you." He clutched the girl to his chest and made to rise. Then he saw the creature behind Alexander, coming out of the darkness, his every nightmare. He felt the blood drain from his face.

Alexander was impatient. "It's just one of the servants. Give him the corpse and let us get on with our night. I did always imagine that there would be some celebration to it when it came at last." He sighed. "Maybe after some laudanum you'll be more accommodating."

"The servants, have they always looked so?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Daniel fainted.

* * *

He woke up in his old rooms. Alexander must have feared a burst of hysteria or accusations of rape if he had opened his eyes and seen the baron looking down at him in his own chambers. He was thankful, in a wretched sort of way, for the baron's thoughtfulness. He lay in the bed and stared up at the canopy. Alexander had sought to woo him. Now that he thought about it, now that he knew what to look for, odd shaped fragments of memory were suddenly turned the right way and were fitted properly into their places in the puzzle. "Flowers." He murmured. "He even gave me flowers." It started off as a small giggle and then grew, swelled until he was howling with laughter, the kind that hurts one's sides and threatens suffocation. Tears were running down his face and by the time he gained enough control to wipe at them, he realized that he was sobbing. What have I done, what have I done, what have I done?

When he finally stumbled from his bed, Alexander strode through his door as if he had been waiting for his step upon the carpet. Daniel wondered if the older man had been waiting in the chamber beyond. "My lord." He was tired despite his lengthy rest in bed, he could barely get his voice beyond a whisper.

"My friend." Alexander snapped back. "You look unwell."

"I want answers." His voice was louder, more steady. Good. He still couldn't bear to look up, to see the masquerade of the caring benefactor placed aside to reveal... "What are you?"

"I told you."

"You told me nothing. You are not human."

"No, I am not." Alexander placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder. He jerked away and scrambled towards the middle of the bed, away from the baron. Alexander's hand hovered in the air. He finally lowered it and sat on the edge of the bed, his back to Daniel. "It is as I told you last night. I came to your world many, many years ago. I've been questing for a way home for centuries. Finally, everything is in place. You have been my good luck charm in that respect. I can go home at last." Such longing in that last word.

"Through the rituals. The vitae."

"Yes."

"But why me? Why did you need me?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Realization struck. Those letters he had sent off, his hand unsteady with exhaustion and terror as he wrote them, not even daring to hope for an answer, for succor. "The orb. You needed the orb."

"You have not a romantic bone in your body! Yes, I needed the orb, orbs I should say, there have been many through the centuries. But I also found that I needed something else." He turned to look over his shoulder. Daniel kept his eyes on the bedspread and drew his knees up, trying to make himself as small as possible. Pictures were assailing his mind; he was seeing himself, cold and wet when he first arrived at Brennenberg. His luggage and dress had been shabby, travel worn, but the way he stroked the hair from his face, the smile that seemed to brighten the gloom around him… Enchanting. This wasn't how he saw himself! This wasn't how he was! The images were making his headache. They weren't his own, they couldn't be his own. The textures were all wrong, the edges sharp. It was as if he could read… He buried his face against his knees and tried not to be sick.

"What would have happened to me if I had not been so comely?"

The baron didn't answer verbally, but the images were there and Daniel unwillingly read them. Alexander had been plotting to seize the orb as soon as the hapless man had crossed his threshold, another nameless sacrifice to practice his macabre arts on, one more soul lost to his unholy quest. But Daniel had been lovely, had been wanted. The ocean of need, of lust and loneliness that washed over him, almost made him swoon. "Stop, please. It hurts."

"What hurts?" Concern in that voice and in the mind that was touching his own, then shock-sharp and piercing- and Daniel cried out at it. Alexander cursed and Daniel felt him withdraw, felt walls being erected between them. He slumped against his pillows, relieved to be alone in his skull once more.

Alexander was crawling onto the bed, crawling over him and he found he didn't have the energy to try to escape. "My apologies. I did not mean for that to happen. I am still new to this bonding. As are you, naturally. My kind have learned to shield ourselves from each other since birth and I'm unused to someone who has never had to do so before." He smiled, a slight flush in his cheeks. "And I must admit I am rusty myself. These are skills I haven't been called upon to use in quite some time."

Daniel was afraid to take his eyes from him, afraid of what it might invite if he did.

Alexander stroked his face, ran a thumb over his lower lip. "Is it so very bad? To see how I see you?"

The walls were lowered slightly and again images and feelings were flowing into him, more quiet this time, almost…seductive. Himself changing for bed, long limbs pale in the moonlight; then him being bathed, eyes closed, head leaned back on the rim of the tub, the silky feel of his hair and his skin being savored, lingered over; his face in slumber and then the tone of the thoughts changed. These were the daydreams, the longings. Sweat on skin, fingers fisting in sheets and Daniel's throat uttering sounds almost inhuman in their pleasure.

He blushed and tried to push Alexander off of him, but the other was settling over him, pressing him down with the weight of his body. Lips sought his and Daniel, under the influence of a most indecent image, opened his mouth to gasp. It was all the invitation the baron needed.

* * *

They hadn't done much, but Daniel still felt despoiled, as if he would never be clean again. Alexander was fast asleep beside him , one arm thrown possessively over his waist. Daniel entertained the notion of slipping out of bed, of breaking a bottle and slitting the man's throat with a shard of glass. He lifted his wrist up and studied the band of purple and blue that was forming around it. A bracelet of bruises, a token of his lord's affections, ones he had had to hold Daniel down for him to accept.

He tried to turn over on his side, the better to slip from the bed, but Alexander half roused, pulled him close until their bodies were pressed together. It was how they normally slept. Daniel bit his lip, trying not to sob. Idiot, idiot, idiot! He had known, the signs had all been there, and he had known! Why had he thought that the baron would interpret such gestures differently? Why had he thought he had been safe? Why, above else, had he finally decided to trust someone when a life time of abuse had taught him to never do so?

Daniel had asked Alexander if the prisoners had ever been that, prisoners. Men and women who had done heinous deeds, been caught, then tried in a court of law, and sentenced to their own special brand of hell. The baron had only laughed. Daniel held his hand back up. A murderer. Nothing but a common murderer. Hazel's older brother was nothing more than a sadistic thug. No better than Henry Bedloe, the bully that had hunted him when he was a child. No better than their father. He sobbed then, stifling it at the last moment by putting his hand over his mouth.

What have I done? What have I become? Alexander stirred and placed a kiss on his neck before stilling again. What have you have you made me do? That was right. It wasn't his fault. It couldn't have been his fault, his own doing. Not Hazel's brother. He wouldn't do something so abhorrent! He had been made to, he had been lied to. Seduced. He remembered the baron's husky voice reading him the lines from Faust and shuddered. Tempted. With safety and friendship and a home.

He thought of that small girl, Sascha, lying limp as a doll and just as pretty. To later be scooped up by monsters and disposed of. That night the ranks of Brennenberg's monstrosities had risen by one. That night Daniel had lost his humanity and lost any chance of salvation he would ever have. Damned. Alexander had damned him.

He hated. Oh, how he hated! Not Henry, not even his father had ever inspired such enmity. He wanted to smash the baron's face in. Smash it and smash it and smash it until he was no longer recognizable, until he looked like a reflection of Daniel's own soul.

 _Why don't you then? Just reach out, grab the water pitcher by your bedside. Do it and be set free!_ His hand started to reach out. "I can't." He snatched it back. A warm voice lulling him to sleep, soothing him when he woke from the Shadow's sendings, that air of safety that he had been lacking his entire life assailed him, Alexander and his small kindnesses. "I cannot. I'm weak. I'm so weak. I've had enough of killing. I cannot anymore."

_Yes, you are weak. Do you know what will become of you? I've seen his mind, his plans for you. Will you be content with the life of a whore, my boy?_

Daniel held his hands over his ears, but the voice would not be blocked out.

_He means to put you in the courtesan quarters of his palace, dress you in silks and satins, parade you out under the envious, hungry glances of his monstrous kin. A pretty prize he brought back from his exile, a curiosity._

"Stop it!"

_Oh, he'll make up for the gawking you'll receive, I'm sure. You'll be showered with jewelry and finery. All you have to do to earn it will be to open your legs and let him have his unnatural way with you. Such a comforting life. Your sister will be pleased that her brother has earned such a life of leisure, a life of being a concubine to a miscreation._

_Shut up!_ The cry was in his head, it echoed in the vaults of his mind.

The voice fell silent. For a moment. _Ah, there you are. Very good, very good! I was waiting for our esteemed host to weaken. It never occurred to me that you would grow stronger. Serves him right! He always underestimates our kind!_

 _What are you?_ Daniel asked, forming the question and sending it into the void with no small effort.

_A friend! A savior! Come to give the baron his due. With your help of course._

_I cannot kill him. He's too strong! And I am… he was kind to me. Despite everything he has done, he was kind to me. I cannot forget that, as much as I would like to._

A wave of contempt, deep enough to drown in, that was followed by the words: _But you do agree he needs to be punished? That he needs to pay for what he has done to us, to our race?_

Daniel hesitated.

_Think of poor little Sascha, so like little Hazel._

_Are you the Shadow?_ Daniel asked, but he was already moving in the darkness of thought, moving towards the voice.

Laughter that hurt as it bounced around him. _No, no. You are being silly now! You must remember me. We've talked before._

The voice with the lewd warnings, that had stopped as suddenly as it had started. _Yes, I do. I do remember._

_Regretting not heeding me now, are you? Well, no mind. We will set things to rights. Now, Alexander sealed me from you. I can talk to you now that you know how to listen, but it's a strain for me and I fear I cannot keep it up for much longer…_

_What must I do?_

_Good boy, brave boy. There is a door in your mind, blocked from you side. Find it, unlock it._

_And then?_

_And then we plot, my dear. I dare say between the two of us, we can hatch a scheme for the baron's demise and your salvation._

Salvation. Something he had thought beyond him. Maybe he could still wrest it back, maybe by this one act of revenge he could purge his soul of its taint. All it would cost was the life of an abomination. His mental hands closed around ice cold chains and pulled.


	14. Chapter 14

It was almost here, finally here. The day he had almost given up on. At the beginning of his inadvertent exile he had been sure that the whole ordeal was just a small set back, that the fixing of his traveler's locket would be but a trifle and all he needed was to get hold of the proper tools. And then he had realized what a backwater of a world he had ended up in. Not to mention these humans that populated the place, such savages, little better than cattle. Save for one of course.

If he were asked what it was about Daniel that had captivated him so, he would be hard pressed to put it into words. There was a grace to the young man, an elegance of spirit that the rest of his kind seemed to lack. Alexander could have spent days wandering through his mind, brushing through the memories, letting the very essence of him wash over his own mind. That child-like spirit, wounded and fragile, was the most intoxicating thing that he had ever encountered. And the most miraculous thing of all, the young scholar had been just as taken with him. Even if he was in denial about it now.

Ah, well. Daniel would come around. Time would heal these recent wounds. Time and a great deal of spoiling from Alexander, something he was quite looking forward to. After tucking Daniel in for the night and dozing off entwined around him, he had found his spirits renewed. The only thing that could have pried him from the sight of a sleeping Daniel, half undressed and snuggled against him, was the pressing manner of making sure the gate was ready. He had spent the morning laboring over the runes and sigils in his inner sanctum. When his eyes had begun to cross from the strain he decided a small treat was in order. Breakfast with Daniel was just the thing he needed. He practically skipped up the stairs to Daniel's room. His hand closed on the handle and he opened the door to chaos itself.

The room looked as if Daniel had done his very best to imitate a whirlwind. "Daniel, what on Earth are you doing?"

"I can't find it!" Daniel called out from where he was crouched, clawing through papers that fallen to the floor. His voice was desperate, cracked as if he had been crying. "What have they done with it?"

"Who, Daniel? What are you looking for?" Alexander waded in, stepping over papers, books, furniture and drawers.

Daniel, having moved rummage through the trunk he had brought with him from England, looked up. "My journal. I can't find my journal. Why would anyone want it?" Such desperation in his voice. This close the baron could tell that Daniel had been crying. There were wet trails on his cheeks and also blood on his mouth from where he had worried his lip.

Alexander took a handkerchief from his pocket and hauled Daniel to his feet. He protested, tried to fight and resume his frantic searching, but Alexander held firm. Finally Daniel quit his struggles and let the baron lead him to a chair that still remained upright and wasn't covered by too much debris. Daniel sat down hard, bouncing slightly and dislodging some bric-a-brack he had tossed on to it, inadvertently freeing up enough space for Alexander to perch on the arm.

Alexander turned the young man's face towards him, tsking as he dabbed at the blood that marred his face and then moving on to erase the evidence of tears. "The state of you." He scolded, but with no real vehemence in it.

"But my journal!"

"It's in my chambers. Do you not remember? You read me excerpts from it before we retired two nights ago. It's safe love, calm yourself."

"I need it!" Daniel clutched at his hand, distraught.

"And I shall fetch it for you as soon as I know you have calmed down."

Daniel closed his eyes and leaned back into the chair, visibly trying to gain control of himself.

Alexander put a hand on his arm. When Daniel did not react, did not try to pull away, he let it slide down until he could clasp the man's hand. "What initiated this little outburst then?"

He shrugged. "I wanted to read some of my old entries. My mind has become clouded of late, certain things aren't as clear as they once were. I wanted proof that they really happened maybe. Then when I could not find it…" He shrugged again, frowned.

"Do not fret yourself so, it will be all right. Your mind is just confused from the stress of your situation and the withdrawal from your tonics." Alexander kicked at an empty bottle of wine. "Though I see you've found suitable replacements for your laudanum."

"I need something. You can't expect me to face that…that thing's approach unsedated."

It was a fight that was quickly growing old and Alexander let it drop. "I'll go get your journal now. Do you wish to accompany me?"

Daniel shook his head, "No. I trust you."

Alexander smiled and leaned down to brush his lips over Daniel's brow. "Thank you for that. I'll be back as quick as I can. Do you have need of anything else?"

Daniel opened his mouth.

"That's not some form of narcotic or liquor?"

He closed it again.

Daniel fell on the well worn book as soon as Alexander held it out to him. He snatched it from the baron's hand, frantically leafing through the pages, eyes scanning the entries almost hungrily. Alexander shook his head and sat down once more on the arm of the chair. "Daniel come sit beside me. There is no need to pace the floor like one deranged."

Daniel flinched and Alexander instantly regretted his word choice. "Come sit beside me." He repeated, making his tone gentle.

Green eyes studied him as if trying to judge his intentions. He took his place beside the baron gingerly. Alexander put an arm around his shoulders. Daniel stiffened then relaxed against him. Alexander had to turn his head to hide his smile. "Read me something from it."

"I'd rather you read something, Alexander. You've the voice for reading."

"Give it here then."

"Something other than this!" Daniel clutched the book to his chest.

"There's nothing else around us, Daniel."

"Surely you have committed to memory some passages of your favorite works."

"I have some poems I could recite for your pleasure." He stroked Daniel's cheek, enjoying the feel of his shivering against him.

Daniel seemed to guess what sort of poems the baron had memorized and where the recitation of them might lead, for he quickly sprang to his feet. "It's fine. You need not trouble yourself. Besides, I have…things I must attend to."

"How intriguing. What sorts of things? To my recollection your tasks are finished. It is up to me now to make sure the last rites are accomplished. You need do nothing but rest."

"Things. I have to… Say goodbye I guess. To this world." He hugged the journal to him and looked so heart wrenchingly lost that the baron was on his feet and holding him in an instant.

"It won't be all that bad Daniel. My world is not that very different from yours, you'll see. You will grow used to it and quick." An idea struck him. "I could show you. You can look into my mind, my memories, and see for yourself what awaits you. Surely that would take some of the fear-"

"Stay out of my mind!" Daniel pushed him away. Alexander stumbled back, his hold on Daniel the only thing that kept him on his feet.

"Daniel." He couldn't keep the hurt from his voice.

"I can't… It's so chaotic, my thoughts. I do not want you privy to them, not right now. I am ashamed of the state I am in."

"You need be ashamed of nothing with me. You know that."

Daniel raised a shaking hand to his temple and shook his head. "I don't want you to see my doubts and petty fears. I am afraid they would hurt you and," He took a breath. "I would not wish that."

"You hurt me now." Alexander snapped.

Daniel winced. "I think… I think I should go lie down for a bit. I am overwrought and I…I seem to make things worse these days, either through my words or my deeds."

"You make nothing worse. You have undergone a lot of change and face even more upheaval. I do understand, just be open with me. Share your worries with me as you have done in the past. I can help."

But Daniel only shook his head and, refusing to meet his eyes, scurried back to his bedchamber.

Alexander stood alone in the wreck of a room, trying not to feel desolate. He had won. Daniel was now his and once they were home, the young man would return his carefree ways, how he used to be. All he needed was time and distance from this nightmare of a world. He would heal and then everything would be perfect. Wouldn't it?

* * *

"I do not think it proper for us to sleep together anymore." Daniel said, seated at the edge of the bed, hands folded primly in his lap.

Alexander paused in the act of unbuttoning his shirt. "Truly? Would you care to enlighten me as to why?"

The young man shifted under his scrutiny, fussed with the folds of his nightshirt. "I just think it improper."

"We've shared a bed for weeks. You thought nothing improper of it then." He resumed divesting himself of his shirt, throwing it over the pile of clothing that was heaped in the corner of the room from Daniel's earlier episode.

"I did not know your intentions at the time."

"Do you honestly think that I will stand for separate quarters once we are home? After you've made me wait all this time? We will-"

"Hush…" Daniel tilted his head to the side, eyes distracted for a moment. "love. I meant no disrespect. I just want to…wait is all. I fear that our sharing a bed may lead to…too much temptation."

Alexander's annoyance had evaporated at the endearment. The smile he gave Daniel was playfully sinister. "Temptation is it? What does it matter if we give in? I think it an excellent way to settle both our nerves." He walked over to Daniel, a slight swagger to his gait enjoying the flush that was rising in Daniel's complexion. He leaned over, hands clasped behind his back, a strand of white hair brushing the other man's face. "I could help you to relax. I can be most…soothing, if you would only give me the opportunity to prove it."

Daniel batted at the hair in his face and fell back onto one arm. "I doubt that what you would inspire in me would be anything soothing."

"It would be a distraction." The baron put a knee upon the mattress and began to lean over the prone man. "A very pleasant one."

"I want to wait." He grabbed Alexander's forearms in an attempt to prevent the baron from crawling over him.

"For what, Daniel? Doomsday? You are putting off the inevitable, you do realize this, do you not?"

"Inevitable. Yes." He paused again, seeming to gather his thoughts. "I want our…our first…time to be in your world. Not here in this accursed place with that thing still hanging over our heads."

"It doesn't matter where or when, surely?"

"Please. I want nothing to taint this. No shadows or…Shadow to cloud it. I want it to be pure, happy. Can you understand?"

Alexander held his eyes for a moment, displeasure set in his mouth. Then he lowered his gaze, shoulders slumping in defeat. "It is an admirable sentiment."

"Thank you…love." Daniel hugged him. It was such a spontaneous, unguarded gesture of affection that the baron found the sting of being rejected softened.

"I still do not see why we must be apart. It is only one more night. Surely you can trust me to remain honorable for one more day."

Daniel didn't meet his eyes, traced over his collarbone with affected intentness. "Maybe it's not your honor that I distrust. My thoughts are so tumultuous; I might forget my own vows and seek comfort prematurely."

Alexander laughed, resting his head on Daniel's shoulder. The young man's hand was in his hair, stroking him and he basked in the attention. "You are always welcome to take advantage of me. We must be very clear on that. This hardly makes me want to be driven from your side, by the way."

"As you said, darling, it's only one more night and then tomorrow's evening…"

"Yes." Alexander pulled back, face suddenly serious. "Tomorrow you'll be mine. Irrevocably, absolutely mine."

"In all things."

Alexander took a moment to find his voice. "And about time. The courting rituals of your country are barbarous."

"We think them chivalrous."

"Grueling would be more apt. Fine, keep your virtue for one night more. I have waited this long. Just be warned that when we finally do give in to our passions that I will not be easy in my satisfaction."

"I would not expect it." His eyes were downcast, but a slight smile was on his lips. Alexander kissed the corner of his mouth. Daniel pushed him back. "Come, I will see you to the door."

"You are cruel."

"One more night of my cruelty. You have withstood it for almost two months, it should be nothing new."

Alexander stood up, reluctance in his every movement. Daniel also rose to his feet and took him by the arm, ushering him out.

"Will you go directly to your chamber, Alexander?" He asked as he all but pushed the baron out the main door of his rooms.

Alexander turned. Daniel had one hand resting on the doorway, the other on the half shut door. His nightshirt was slipping, baring one lovely, pale shoulder and his hair was in disarray. The whole scene was alarmingly domestic and Alexander felt his breathing deepen.

"No, I have just remembered there is some work below I should perhaps attend to. Preparation for what waits us on the morrow."

Daniel nodded. "I see. Well then." He stepped forward a gentle hand on the back of Alexander's neck drawing him down. "Good night then." It was a soft kiss, chaste, and over almost as soon as Alexander realized what was happening. He reached out to touch him, to put his arms around that thin waist, but Daniel was pulling back, the door closing. Alexander's hand shot out and caught it. Daniel blinked at him in surprise and something a kin to trepidation. "You promised, my lord." Daniel reminded him.

"I did and we will wait, I will keep that vow. It did occur to me though that we might…indulge in some play. Just enough to tide us over you might say."

Daniel blushed. "I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Alexander smiled, his fingers brushing over the neck of Daniel's nightshirt, trailing down and downward still. "I think I will enjoy showing you." One hand fisted in the fabric of Daniel's shirt, pulling him forward. "You are lovely. Every dream I have ever dared to dream." He bent to kiss him.

* * *

"That was horrid. Of all the debased, depraved…"

_Calm yourself. It is over and it got rid of him admirably. He left rather pleased with himself, don't you think?_

"Do not make light of the matter! It was not yourself he visited that…that wretched act upon."

_You seemed to be enjoying yourself._

Daniel blushed, shamed at himself for giving in to the pleasure at the end, letting Alexander hold him down and…with his mouth… He shook himself, but the ghosts of the sensations still lingered. He crossed his legs.

_Never mind. It was a pale shadow of what he really wanted to do to you. Well, if you do your part in our little scheme, we can save you from that fate._

"I don't understand some of the finer details. Why scatter my journal pages? And these canisters..." He held up one of the strange devices he had tucked underneath the bed.

_It will all become clear, or maybe not I should say. You won't remember any of this if things go to plan._

"It all seems…rather drastic."

_You want your precious redemption, don't you? Your revenge?_

"I do."

_Then it is the only way to wipe the slate clean of your sins, to rekindle your courage and purge yourself of any ill founded and conditioned affection. You need to stay strong._

"But I am not. I have never been."

_A good thing we found each other, eh? I will be your courage._

"Will I remember it though?"

_Maybe you will have no need to. Now let's go through your journal and see what entries will drive you best in your new life._

* * *

It had been a thing of beauty, sublime. He was still overwhelmed with emotion, so shatteringly thankful that Daniel had given him the gift of himself, even if it was only a taste of the many delights he could offer. Would offer.

There had been half hearted protests at first, but when Alexander had coaxed him to bed, his prior scruples had vanished. Not as wanton as Alexander would have liked, but that was probably due to nerves. The way he had started at every movement, so so skittish, his Daniel. Alexander was beginning to suspect that no one had touched him intimately before. No one had certainly done _that_ to him before. Alexander paused in his etching of symbols to relish the memory, the way Daniel had clutched at him, those delicate fingers twining themselves in his hair, pulling towards instead of pushing away. And those delicious little noises he had uttered, that wrenched cry at the end… It was better than any fantasy the baron had ever concocted.

When Daniel was spent, Alexander had rested his cheek against the young man's stomach, almost too content to heed to his own needs boiling within him. He had simply lain there, breathing in the other man, his sweat, his skin… And then shaking fingers began to run through his hair, to pet him. "Do not touch me." He had murmured. "If you touch me, I will be undone. I won't be able to keep my promise to not take you until tomorrow."

"Is your self control such a fragile thing, Alexander?"

"When it comes to you, it would appear so." He had kissed him, nipped him on the sensitive skin of his inner hip and Daniel had given the most delightful little gasp, a shudder through his entire body. "You tempt me entirely too much."

"Then maybe you best be away."

Alexander raised himself up, trailing kisses up his chest to finally hover over his mouth. "I love you."

"You say it so desperately." Daniel's eyes were shining, with joy or tears it was hard to say.

No kiss had ever been sweeter, ever been so full of promises of what was to come.

What a perfect last night. It had renewed the baron's belief that there could be no flaw in his plans. He had left nothing to chance.

* * *

Daniel looked around the inner sanctum, eyes wide. It was a place transformed. The very depths of Brenneberg had always been an eerie place to him, as if Alexander had tried his best to recreate his vision of the inferno of Dante, but now… It really was a hellish place. Three orbs sat upon three pillars in the center of the room, around them were circles filled with hundreds of scrawled symbols. The writing seemed to crawl, desperate to leave this horrid room. Alexander seemed to materialize from the gloom behind Daniel. "Almost time." His voice was low and placating. He placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder.

"How…how long before…?"

"Five hours, four maybe if we are lucky."

"I heard it all last night. Calling to me."

"Yes, I had to draw some of the wards that were protecting the castle to this room. We need their energies here more."

"So it knows where we are now."

"It's known for quite some time, Daniel. Now it can merely reach us."

Daniel went pale. "You seem unconcerned."

"Of course I am. It can take the damned place apart brick by brick now; I have no further need of this ugly heap of stone. We will be well away by the time it reaches this far below." Alexander nuzzled the fine hairs on Daniel's temple. "Don't fret yourself needlessly."

"Five hours at the most you say."

"Yes."

"I want to go back to the surface. Just for a bit."

"Daniel…" The baron let him pull away; concern was in his eyes and no fair amount of mistrust.

"I won't do anything foolish, Alexander; I just need to take one last look. It's my world and yes, it has not always been kind to me, but it's been all I have known and I am leaving it forever." He placed a hand against the baron's face, and Alexander, despite himself, leaned into the touch, eyes half closing. "I need to say my goodbyes."

Alexander growled, but Daniel was unfazed. He merely walked into the circle of the baron's arms and let himself be petted as Alexander struggled within himself. "Very well." He said at last. "Make your farewells to this atrocious world and lay it forever to rest. Don't dally though, Daniel." He held him at arm's length. "The Shadow truly is at our gate."

"You won't come up with me?" He stepped back, peering up anxiously. Alexander winced.

"I cannot. I am needed here; the last bit of the ritual needs to be carefully orchestrated. It's time consuming and we don't have much of it to waste."

"I'll be alone? What happens if I stay too long?"

"Make sure you do not. Be as quick as you can be. If you do linger I will have to send my servants for you." Alexander paused. "Maybe that would be for the best. I worry to have you wander by yourself. Stay in your room, the Gatherers will come fetch you when it is time. Does that seem reasonable?"

"Very, but honestly Alexander, those things? They are hideous."

"I had to make do with the materials at hand. Don't chide my work so. Now off with you, before I change my mind. Lord knows I can barely part from you at the best of times."

"Thank you." Daniel stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

"Just be careful. And make sure you mind the Gatherers."

"You've hardly left me any choice in the matter." Daniel said, dancing away as the baron tried to catch him. "I shall wait for your horrid servants in my rooms. If I grow bored, I will make my own way down."

"Daniel, the castle will grow more unstable the nearer the Shadow. Wait for the servants or send to me with your mind if you have need of them before the appointed time."

Daniel smiled over his shoulder and then was gone.

 _You, my boy, should have been an actor._ Daniel's smile widened to a grin.

* * *

The corridor was chill; it was as if every remnant of warmth that had graced this cursed place were being leeched by what was now approaching. Daniel held up the vial to the weak sunlight streaming through the windows. Such an innocuous liquid. He had mistaken it for perfume the first time Alexander had handed it to him. Had scoffed when the baron had told him what it was capable of. It wasn't possible for any man on Earth to make such a potion. His hand closed into a fist around the vial. He had had it right back then, hadn't he? No man could have made the amnesia tonic.

Agrippa's voice had been absent for at least half an hour. Daniel almost missed the chiding and nagging. It was a lonely business, this erasure of his life. He could have done with the support. But whatever foul energies that rode with the Shadow were interfering with his new found skill for telepathy. It made it easier to dodge the tendrils of thought Alexander sent his way to check up on him, but unfortunately it made it all but impossible to contact Agrippa.

He picked up the paper and scanned the writing in his own, hasty hand. Foolish, leaving a letter to one's self. Foolish and eerie. He wondered if it would prompt his memory, if it would all come flooding back as soon as he saw Alexander's name. Would he scoff at it, thinking it a prank? Or maybe balk at the thought of killing an old man in cold blood? He would not remember that he had experience at the ending of lives after all. His new self might find the act as repugnant as Daniel once had. Before Alexander had ruined him.

Leaving the lantern burning on the table, he rose and left the room. The castle had grown strange in recent days. He had used to love it, had thought it beautiful. Now when he looked at it he could only feel horror, hear the screams he knew had rang out through the centuries down its halls.

He unstoppered the potion. It felt too much like suicide, this plan. He hoped he remembered some small things. He hoped he remembered how much he liked Ovid, the way Mayfair had smelled in the summers, his love for the mysteries of archeology. He hoped he remembered his Hazel. Dear, sweet Hazel who had been his sole strength for so long and who had done nothing to deserve the monster he had become. He would do this for her and for little Sascha. Erase a demon and be reborn again as a man. The cold of glass against his lips, the burn of liquid down his throat and the smell of Damascus rose. And Daniel was no more.


	15. Chapter 15

It was strange to have no idea of who you were. He remembered his name was Daniel and had had it confirmed when he had stumbled across that alarming note next to the lantern, but there was no connection to the appellation, no sense of identity. Had Daniel had many friends or was he a loner? Was he cheerful or brooding? Studious or active? He really had no idea. He was suspecting bookish due to the rather frail state of his stature and the odd little crumbs of knowledge that would pop into his mind. A scholar then? Was that how he had come to this haunted place in the middle of its dark forest? Had he been researching something?

The letter had hinted that he had been running from something, but why here? Why was this a sanctuary with its horrors and secrets? Even as he wandered through the abandoned and desolate halls he could glean no emotion from the place, if he had loved it at one time, if he had felt safe here, or if he had always abhorred it. He dug the letter from out of his pocket and scanned the lines again. Alexander. The name meant nothing to him, though the letter implored him to kill this old man. Why? What could have inspired such hatred, such fear, to the point of erasing who he had been in the hopes that what was reborn could carry out the deed? And what guarantee that this letter had been written by himself? He couldn't even remember his own handwriting! What if someone had forcibly made him drink from the vial he had woken up next to and then left that letter, trying to make him an unwitting assassin to keep their hands clean? Though to be fair, he doubted very much that there was another living soul in this place. An inhuman cry came from the room nearby. Daniel clutched his lantern to him and gulped.

* * *

Alexander was in a blind panic. He couldn't reach Daniel. He had been trying for a good hour and not so much a murmur in his mind from the boy. He paced the inner chamber, worrying a nail. When he tasted blood he made himself stop and clutched his hands behind his back. Daniel Daniel Daniel where are you? We don't have time for hide and seek and if you delay too long… Alexander didn't want to think of the possible outcomes to that. With a growl of frustration he turned to the door, robes swirling around his ankles. He had his hand upon it, was pushing against it when he felt a small brush in his thoughts. Daniel? Faint, but there. So he was safe. He could barely get a bearing on where the young man was. Somewhere in the main hall? The library? Why was he so far from his chambers?

Alexander cursed, damning the shadow for its chaotic energies; it made searching for Daniel like trying to find a needle in a bloody sandstorm and hurt just as much. He should go up there, he should find him and bring him back down, make sure he was safe, make sure he stayed safe; he should have never, ever let him have left in the first place. He bashed his fist against the door, welcoming the pain; it cleared his mind. He couldn't leave, as much as he might want to. He needed to finish up the gate, that way as soon as he had Daniel once more in his arms they both could make their escape before the Shadow snapped its jaws down on them both. If he spent time searching for Daniel and bringing him back down there would be no time to attend to the gate before that monstrosity was upon them. As much as he was loath to do so, he would have to trust in the Gatherers and Daniel's sense of self preservation.

* * *

The creature had taken a fair chunk out of him. He hadn't even known the blasted thing was there until he had felt the sharp sting in his side and then a warmth as the blood had begun to flow. As bad as he thought that lurker in the water had been, what had followed it had been even worse. Apparently his former self had not been lying about being cursed; at least the Shadow was real and very much a threat.

He leaned back on the door he had just slammed shut on the damned thing, feeling it retreat for a time, regroup. There was a sense of protection in this new area, though Daniel could not say for sure how he knew it. He gingerly touched his side. He would have to find some way of wrapping it up. He could not delay any longer, he had to move on. No telling when the protections of this place would fail as they had done back in the main hall. He walked up the stairs, thankful there weren't too many of them and halted at the top. The fountain was… strange. He found himself wondering, not for the first time, what sort of man this baron was.

* * *

"You almost had him you dolts!" Alexander shouted. He knew it did no good to lose his temper with them, that- angered or calm- it made no difference to the Gatherers. They were the basest constructs he had ever made, the only ones he could make with the materials of this damnable world, and therefore they could not process such things as fear or a desire to please their master. They were good only for carrying out orders, "fetch this", "kill that"...apparently "find my lover and make sure he is safe" had been a bit beyond them.

"Why didn't he stay in his rooms, as I had asked him? Why is he running from you?" He couldn't make sense of it all. He had felt Daniel in his chambers a while ago, and how his heart had eased when he had thought that the boy was finally complying to his orders, that something must have just delayed him earlier, but then he had faded again and was left with just the dull confusion of the Gatherer that had entered the room.

* * *

Daniel was in the prisons now and from the little scraps that he could catch was terrified out of his tiny mind. Alexander found he was pretty unsympathetic to his plight and wished the boy would just give into his terror, pass out, and quit leading his rescuers on such a merry chase. "Find him!" He ordered. "I don't care if you have to wound him; obviously something has him crazed beyond the point of reason. Just enough to incapacitate, mind, then bring him to me. Quickly!" He could feel the Shadow within the boundaries of his lands, sneaking tendrils of itself into his castle itself. He had never felt any affection for the place and was rather surprised at how violating it felt to have that creature in it; it was a disquieting feeling, even more so knowing that Daniel was running around like a blind lunatic with it dogging his steps.

Alexander was not one for praying, had never believed in the gods even when he had been a youth, but he found himself uttering a small plea to ears he knew would be deaf to it if they existed at all: _let him be returned to me, let him be safe; he's the only thing I have ever loved. Don't be so cruel as to take it from me as soon as I have found it._

* * *

Daniel began to suspect he was a bit…what was the word...telepathic. He had first begun to wonder about it when he had stumbled across the scene in the wine cellar. It had started like one of those dim flashbacks he was prone to; he had even thought it was a memory at first until he had considered it more properly afterward. He had read the scrap of paper and suddenly had seen the place filled with men dressed as soldiers, drinking wine and slurring curses and bits of bawdy tunes-then they had changed, burst apart, dissolved. It had been ghastly and Daniel had had to crouch in the corner retching for a good few minutes afterwards. What sort of horrible memory had that been? _Those costumes were old._ A voice that sounded like his own, but not, whispered in his mind. _Not from any era we would have been alive to see. The note is dated, look._ He had pulled it out and glanced at it. 1704. And according to his diary he was now in the year 1839. Unless he was immortal there was no way he could have been privy to that carnage. Then what the hell had that been about?

His suspicions became more than idle conjecture in the prisons. He had simultaneously been chasing the ghost of a girl and dodging those hellish creatures that seemed overly fond of him when a rather striking voice had echoed in his ears. He had been forced to huddle behind several boxes, knees shaking too much to support his weight until that voice was done berating the things that were chasing him. The baron? Had that been Alexander? It seemed to match the voice from his memories, dim as they were. It didn't seem to be the voice of a frail old man though. Daniel began to understand why his former self might have been in awe of the man, in terror of him.

It was in the control rooms-Daniel was trying figure out a way to fix the contraption so he could lower the bridge-that Alexander seemed to finally find him.

_Daniel, is that you?_

Daniel jumped, looking around to make sure he was alone. What should he do? Stay silent and hope this voice in his mind left him alone? Respond to it somehow and ask for some answers?

_What are you doing?_

"Fixing these damnable machines of yours." He muttered.

_I see. What's wrong with you? Your mind is…odd._

"You're one to talk. This whole castle of yours is passing strange."

The warmth of affection that washed over him was surprising. _Are you on your way to me then? Are you unhurt?_

Daniel fidgeted at the concern in that mental voice. It didn't seem like something a madman intent on his destruction would think at him, a man who had been howling for his blood a few minutes ago. "Thank you for your concern, sir. I am not so badly hurt, no thanks to your minions. That accursed invisible creature in the water did me in a fair bit."

_The Kaernk? How did you encounter the Kaernk? It shouldn't have been anywhere near… Never mind. Just get to the Inner Sanctum and be quick about it. Avoid any parts of the castle that are flooded if you can help it. Make haste._

"You…want me to come to the Inner Sanctum?"

A sigh and the frustration in it almost knocked Daniel over. _Yes, why would I not? Stop behaving like an idiot and get a move on!_

"It's just that…" Daniel rethought telling the baron that he had told himself to kill him. He couldn't fathom how that would make the situation any better. The baron seemed to have gleaned it from him though, that stray thought, because his mind went utterly, eerily quiet.

_I see. Or I am beginning to see._

"I think I better go now." Daniel wondered if there was a way to block his mind from another. Maybe if he pushed against the alien presence in his head, imagined a sort of door…

_Daniel! Don't you dare…_

There! That had been easy. He realized he was grinning like an idiot. It was nice to be alone again and he never thought he would think that. It had been an upsetting experience that only added to his unease. He felt that he was missing something to all of this, something vital.

Alexander finally burst through the mental door in the morgue of all places. Daniel couldn't help that small scream of alarm when he felt that presence shoulder it's way it. He had wondered if he stood very still and kept his mind blank he would be overlooked… _Daniel, I know you're here. I can hear you breathing._ Alexander snapped, annoyed.

Daniel whimpered and rubbed at his temple. The man's voice was so loud…

_Did you really take the amnesia potion?_

"It appears that I did." No sense in denying it.

A long silence and then, _Why?_ Hurt, was that hurt that pulsated against him? Betrayal?

"I don't know, sir. I am as in the dark about it as you. I would think that you would be in a better position to guess at my reasons though." Daniel looked at the mound of corpses and shuddered. "You seemed to have been a very busy man."

_Don't you dare condemn my actions. They weren't mine alone. I will not shoulder the entire blame for them._

"I would never have been a party to this!" Daniel thrust a hand out at the mutilated bodies.

 _Are you certain of that?_ Alexander left him. Daniel hugged the lantern to him, trying to get as much warmth as he could from the little flame. He wasn't sure, that was the thing. He felt repugnance at what he kept coming across in this castle, revulsion, but whenever he tried to distance himself from it, he would hear that tiny whimper in the dark, the sound of running feet and pleas that had fallen on deaf ears. Daniel was beginning to think that Daniel had not been a good man. Thankfully a Brute-what he had named the big, hulking creature with its thuggish bat for an arm-burst through the door, distracting him from the disquieting train of thought he had been entertaining.

* * *

He stared down at the torture device. He remembered. How the screams had sounded, the grim joy he had found in his work, that sick satisfaction that he had found a skill he was good at. He wanted to vomit, but there was nothing in his stomach to rid himself of. "I was a monster."

"Don't you dare condemn me." He flinched, thinking it was Alexander again. No, the voice was wrong, it was…it was his own. "What I did, I had to do. To live. And it wasn't my fault, I was made to do it! He made me. He lied to me, to us. He must die for that, we must have our vengeance!"

"Do shut up." Daniel pressed a hand to his head. He was mad. He was in the depths of a castle, in a dungeon, having an argument with himself. What an insane world he had been born into. Reborn into, he corrected.

He thought of the little girl, wished he could dredge up a name for her. He couldn't even remember her face. He seemed to see two faces from separate little girls when he tried, both blurred though, features indecipherable. "She deserved it! That little bitch!" She had fallen, she had cried before he had ended their chase, ended her.

Daniel hunched over, clawing at his head, dropping the lantern in the process. The room plunged into darkness and he screamed. Surprisingly, that sheer terror cleared his mind, weakened his former self and drove him back to the depths of unremembered memory. Daniel closed his eyes and felt on the ground. His fingers skimmed metal and he grabbed up the lantern, resting it on his knee as he fumbled with the tinder box. Light, blessed light.

He felt himself stir again and shoved it back down. "I am beginning to really not like you, I think." He muttered as he rose. One last thing to gather for that Agrippa, that living dead chatty bloke in the Nave, and he could end this grim night.

* * *

"Why didn't he kill me?" He asked the severed head as he walked towards the inner sanctum. "He could have. When those Grunts"-named for their unpleasant noises- "had swarmed me, I thought I was a goner, but they just knocked me out, put me in that jail cell. Doesn't he want me dead?"

_Aren't you here as an instrument of his destruction? Why would he want you alive?_

Daniel sighed. Everyone seemed fond of answering questions with questions in bloody Brennenberg. Daniel was getting tired of always being in the dark, both literally and figuratively. "I feel as if I am missing the main part of this macabre little play."

_You know the pertinent points. You know he is a monster from another world, that he tricked you into your damnation, and that you must redeem yourself, that you must stop him. What more is there to know?_

The truth. But he remained silent. It was true that horrible things had happened here, that sinful, deplorable atrocities had taken place and they weren't things that could easily escape forgiveness or retribution. But… "I did these acts too. I am not blameless."

Agrippa's mental voice was almost wheedling. _You were a dupe, Daniel. A pawn only. A man doesn't accuse the dagger for slaying another, does he? No, he accuses the hand that wielded it. When you were reborn you cleansed yourself of all sin and you will make certain of your redemption when you have set me free and washed yourself clean in the blood of Alexander._

Daniel had felt he had had more of his fair share of being washed in blood in this lifetime. He wanted to ask Agrippa about the words that Alexander had spoken in the jail cell, the pleas to stay put and to stay safe until this ritual was fully ready. He may have hated Alexander, but he wasn't sure that the sentiment was mutual, in spite of all the evidence he had found littered around the place.

There was a memory on the bridge to the inner sanctum. His past self had been following Alexander, teasing him about how he never seemed to want to look backwards at him when they walked this bridge. He had mentioned a myth, Eurydice and Orpheus's tale, and the baron had snapped at him, flustered and a bit embarrassed, had called Daniel too astute. Daniel tried to recall the tale, but like most things from his past, it was like trying to look through a dark glass. It had been a love story, a story of a man so in love that he had risked hell itself, death itself, for his lady, but it had ended in loss. Everything lost by a backward glance, or was it by hesitation? Distrust? Some sort of message in that.

He couldn't remember the baron's face and that troubled him. A man that seemed to have dominated so much of his life, a man who had enticed him into acts that-he hoped- had been against his very nature, and Daniel could only recall a broad back, long white hair, and a voice that seemed to be constantly annoyed with him.

 _I do hope your resolve is not faltering_ , snapped Agrippa.

"Kill him kill him kill him." Gibbered his former self.

Daniel was finding himself liking Alexander for the sole reason of being the only one who seemed to be able to keep silent.


	16. Chapter 16

The room was…eerie. The chambers before it had hinted at what was to come, but Daniel still found himself taken aback by the strangeness, the otherworldliness, of the Inner Sanctum. There were three pillars, each with an orb on the top, illuminating the room with an eldritch glow. Daniel shuddered. It truly was a place of nightmares.

"So you finally found your way to me at last. Come to kill me? Am I the villain of the piece now? Tell me truly though, do you find no fault in yourself? No evil in Agrippa? No good at all in me?"

He hadn't expected the baron to be so…blue. Or to be floating. "Alexander I presume?" He set the lantern down, almost having to pry his fingers from his sole companion on this arduous journey. He stepped away from it. No matter what was to come next, he would have no need for it again. He walked towards the man hovering in the air. Was it really a man? He seemed frailer than any mortal could have been and… were his ears slightly pointed? "I must confess you aren't how I pictured you."

The creature turned from the portal to glare at him. "The energies required to raise the gateway have diminished me." He disappeared. Daniel cast around for him, uneasy. The man appeared scarce a foot from him and Daniel gave a strangled sort of yelp, almost tripped over his own feet as he stepped back. "Is this better, does this prompt your memory?" He raised an eyebrow and gestured at himself.

Daniel really wished he would have conjured some clothing as well as a more sturdy appearance. "I thought you'd be a bit younger, actually. You don't seem to match your voice."

Alexander raised the other eyebrow and Daniel wondered if that was amusement in those strange eyes. The features of the man before him blurred for a moment and when they came back into focus it was a man in his fifties and not in his seventies before him.

"Yes, it was more like that."

Alexander shook his head. "You are the oddest creature I have ever encountered." He suddenly glowered and Daniel found himself flinching instinctively. "But you lied to me. You are hurt." He gestured at his side. Daniel looked down at the dried blood, his ripped shirt.

"Oh, yes. That. It was that…thingie. The lurker in the water."

"You have won your fair share of bruises and scrapes as well." Long, cool fingers under his chin tilted his head up. "I do wish you would not have thought the most expedient way to a place was to fall to it."

"I assure you, it was not on purpose." The hand lingered on him and Daniel began to flush. There was a struggle within him, memories trying to surface and something trying equally as hard to suppress them. "May I ask you something?"

"We hardly enough time for it, but ask." Alexander stepped away.

"Were we lovers?"

There was a long, long silence. "And what made you conclude that?"

Daniel unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and pulled his collar aside.

Alexander touched the small mark that was revealed, a slight smile on his lips. "Yes, that was my doing." He frowned. "Do you truly remember nothing of us?" That hurt again, that pain Daniel could feel radiating into his mind.

"I'm sorry, I do not. But don't you have a lover already? In your own world?" He trailed off at the confusion in Alexander's expression. "Ah." He smiled and it was a bitter thing. "There is no feeling like realizing you have been played the fool by no other than yourself."

"We will talk about this later. We will talk about it for decades, if you so desire, but we really must away and now."

"What?" Daniel looked down at the hand that grasped his, that was pulling him towards the shelf of stone before the vortex of energy.

"The gateway, we must be through it before that abomination of yours breaks through my last defenses."

"You mean to take me with you?"

Alexander stopped and Daniel crashed into his back. "Of course I mean to, you dolt."

"But I thought that was how this all got started. That I found out you had had no intention of…" His voice trailed off at the look the baron shot him.

"Quite the opposite, you'd find. We have no time for this. Come and hurry."

Daniel kept dragging his feet and the baron growled. The room lurched around him and Daniel soon found himself transported onto the shelf. His stomach heaved. "Please do not do that again. It seems to not agree with me."

"Brace yourself, it's opening."

It took a moment for the words to sink it. There was a high pitch whining in the air that was increasing in volume. Daniel pressed his hands to his ears, but the sound seemed to be like Alexander's and Agrippa's voices, a thing more of the mind than of the physical. The stones that had been levitating aimlessly in the air began to circle one another, spinning rapidly around and around. Daniel shrank against Alexander and was surprised at the comforting arm around his shoulders. He was tucked against the baron's side as they watched the spectacle before them. "Sweet Jesus." Daniel whispered as a rent in the very fabric of the world appeared.

"It worked." Alexander seemed just as amazed as he. "Behold, a gateway to another world. Isn't it…beautiful?" He turned to Daniel and kissed him on the temple. "At long last I can return home. We can go home."

 _That is no home of mine, if I am sure of anything else in this new life_ , Daniel thought. The energies were rising, pulling at him. His hair and clothing were being played with by the alien winds that were coming through that gate, as if they were enticing him to enter, to play with them. Alexander gently turned his face. "Are you ready? There might be some small pain, but it will be over quickly." The baron's hair was blowing wildly around him. His expression…Daniel swallowed. He understood now how his previous self could have been beguiled into those wretched deeds, if the baron had always looked at him thus.

"No." Daniel tried to pull away, but the baron held him tight. "I cannot go with you. I am sorry."

He expected anger, but a dim sort of puzzlement flitted across the baron's face. "I think you'll find you can, that you will."

"I cannot go with you." Daniel repeated it, more strongly this time.

"But why? You cannot still mean to kill me, to exact your petty little revenge? That was a plot hatched by Agrippa and you were… you were too ill to see it for the trap it was."

"That may very well be." Daniel reached out and brushed Alexander's hair back, kept his hand against his cheek so the lashing strands would not obscure his face. "Regardless if I wasn't told the whole truth, if I was merely a puppet, it still does not excuse what I have done. What we have done. Those horrible, terrible things. We have debts to pay, my lord."

Alexander opened his mouth, but Daniel quickly forestalled him. "You cannot argue against it, my-Alexander. You have committed atrocities that can have no excuse, and I…I was weak. Or insane. It does not matter which."

"And what would you propose we do? That we both die at each other's hand? I have always found the overly lauded plays of your countryman to be trite and overly sentimental; I have no wish to reenact them."

"I will not kill you. There has been enough death in Brennenberg. I must look to my own redemption and you...you will have to find your own way to atone. That is your burden to carry and not mine. But," Daniel thrust his knapsack into the baron's arms. Alexander took it, lip curling as he guessed its contents, "maybe that can be your first step towards it. Take him through the gate with you. Set him free at last. Whatever crimes he has done, let him answer for them in the hereafter."

"I will not leave without you." The baron's voice cracked.

"I think you'll find you will." He leaned forward, "Please forgive my presumptuousness." As kisses go, it probably was not the best, but it was his first and he thought it good. Something was jogged loose in the vault of his mind, a tiny bright flash in the darkness. He smiled. "I loved you. I am fairly certain that I did love you."

"And you will again, only give me the chance."

Daniel kissed him again. It was much sweeter than the last, lingering.

Alexander had shut his eyes. "Don't do this." He sounded broken, lost.

"I have to. They might not be my sins, but I am more than man enough to pay for them." He had to wrench himself from the baron's arms. The other man made to grab for him again, but Daniel was jumping off the ledge of stone. He landed hard on the floor below, his ankle turning underneath him. Away from the portal he could hear pounding on the door to the chamber now, pounding and a howling that chilled his blood.

"I will ask you a boon, Alexander, a small thing. Do not forget me. Not the man that came before, but the me that stands before you now. It has been a short life and maybe not a very good one, but to not be remembered…I can think of no fate lonelier." It was disconcerting to see a heart breaking, to see it so visibly written on the face of another. "Goodbye." He turned his back to the baron and strode forward to meet his fate. He did not look back, not once.

He thought that his name might have been shouted out, but if so the cry was lost in the whine of the gate. It grew even louder and the energies began to crackle.

He placed his hands on the door, feeling them shudder with the impact of the beast beyond them. He took a breath and another. He cursed his former self for being a fool, but could not summon any real enmity. This was why he had been created after all, this one purpose: to make amends. And he had chosen how he would do it. Him. Not his insane past self, not Agrippa with his supposed machinations, not even Alexander whom he had left weeping. A sense of peace flowed through him. He wished he could remember that girl's name, wished he had it to utter as a charm to stick his courage firmly in place. He took another breath and heard a whoosh of air behind him, followed by a crash as one of the pillars collapsed. He smiled. Alexander had gone through the portal with Agrippa then. All was right. He flung open the doors….

And recoiled. "Jesus Christ!" He reeled back, nothing had prepared him for it, the bulk of it, the horror of it. If he hadn't been changed by the potion, by his journey, the sight alone would have driven him instantly mad. The creature howled and there were teeth, so many many teeth. It drew back and Daniel wondered if he had surprised it by walking into its deadly embrace. But no, it was just gathering itself to spring-

A hand thrust over his shoulder and Daniel realized that there was now an arm around his waist, a strong body pressed into his back. "Take it, you gods' forsaken thing! This is what you came for! Take it and go, back to your den and back to your banal, lumbering dreams of bygone eons!"

A tendril snapped out and Alexander hissed in Daniel's ear. The orb was gone and so was a fair amount of skin on the baron's hand.

"Alexander?" Hadn't the man gone through the gate? Hadn't he heard him leave?

The creature seemed to have vanished, save for the blood red tendrils that covered the walls of the corridor like cobwebs from hell. A small vibration had started in the floor beneath their feet, a tremor that was quickly gathering force and intensity. There was a crash of stone somewhere beyond them, another soon following. The castle was starting to fall apart.

"Alexander?" He repeated placing a hand on the arms wrapped around him so tightly he could hardly breathe.

The baron only lowered his head to rest against Daniel's shoulder. He was shaking and Daniel wondered if the man was sobbing against him, mourning that he had given up the only way he had of ever returning to his home, had given it all up for a man who didn't even remember that they had been in love…

 

Daniel had no way of telling how long they had lain there in the dark. Alexander seemed to be in no hurry to stir himself from the pillow he had made of Daniel's leg. The moment the toils of the day had finally caught up to Daniel and his knees had buckled beneath him, the taller man had done his best to crawl into his lap. Daniel had let him, what else could he do? He stroked the long white hair, finding the gesture soothing and hoped that Alexander found it so too. The man was no longer shaking and Daniel wondered if he had fallen asleep. He could not tell for his face was turned so it was concealed against Daniel's thigh, the faint caress of breath the only sign he had that the man was still alive.

The walls had quit their trembling and the crashes of stone were coming less frequently. Everything now had a still and finished air about it. Daniel closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the pillar he rested upon. Maybe a few minutes of sleep would do him some good too… He opened one eye, a sudden thought striking him. Two of the Orbs were still on their pillars and he wondered what had happened to their guardians. "Was that all I had to do? Just give the accursed thing back and I would have been free? All that bloodshed, that descent into madness, was it all unnecessary?" The man didn't stir and Daniel sighed. It had been necessary, but not for him. "You are a selfish, selfish creature." Was that a flinch? Or merely a trick of the fading light?

Fading light… His head jerked up as he peered at the Orbs. Whatever force had animated them was almost depleted at last. The shadows in the room were growing longer, reaching for them… His breath began to speed, to clog his throat. "Alexander." He tried to roll the man off him, but he would not be budged. "Alexander, the light, it is fading. I need," He took a breath. "I need to find the lantern. The darkness…" He began to shove at the baron, clawing at his shoulders, trying to break free from his hold.

A muffled curse, a snap of fingers, and a glowing ball of blue flame burst into existence right in front of Daniel's nose. He cracked his head on the pillar when he reeled back in surprise. "Oh. Thank you. Can I…?" But Alexander's only response was to crawl off of him and curl in upon himself. Daniel bit his lip and reached for the flame. It didn't burn when he touched it and with a small exertion of thought he could move it about. He laughed, a bit delighted with it all. With a glance at the defeated form on the floor, he rose to his feet and took the flame with him to the entrance. If Alexander noticed he had left, he gave no sign.

Daniel peered into the gloom beyond. It seemed the veiny things that had always preceded the Shadow were gone as were bits of the ceiling, but the way still looked passable. He was worried about the long, spindly bridges though. If those were gone, he had no idea how they would be able to make it to the surface. "The way seems clear enough. I cannot tell what lies beyond though. Should I go check?" Nothing but silence. He looked over his shoulder, hesitating, tempted. He shuddered. He couldn't leave another creature alone in the darkness. He might have in some other life-a life that was getting more and more faint as time progressed-but whatever cruelty he had once possessed had died in him about half a day ago.

He retraced his steps-pausing to pick up a robe that had been thrown into a corner- and crouched down, pulling the fabric around Alexander. He then slung the baron's arm around his shoulders. "Come on you great thing you, let's get you to your feet." Alexander grimaced, but put up no resistance as Daniel made him stand up and began to lead him out of the chamber. Daniel had to support most of his weight and lead him around the obstacles that lay in their path. Alexander seemed miles away, lost in his thoughts, lost in his soul.


	17. Chapter 17

The path out of Brennenberg was arduous and Daniel would have had no hope of ever finding his way through it if the baron hadn't stirred himself out of his stupor and taken the lead. He still would not talk to Daniel or even look at him. It was worrying and Daniel wondered if he should be uneasy, if he should be worried that he finally had pushed Alexander beyond his affections to the point where he would harm Daniel for thwarting him. But he found he didn't have the energy in him to care anymore. He had fully expected to die this night and to find himself still alive was a bit bewildering. He couldn't seem to wrap his mind around the fact, let alone start contemplating what he was to do next.

After what seemed like a small eternity, they turned a corner and Daniel found himself exiting from a half concealed cave into a wood. The cool night wind against his face was a very welcome thing. He closed his eyes and threw his arms up to it, spun around under the stars, trying not to laugh like a lunatic and failing. Then it finally sunk in. _I'm alive. I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive._ He stopped his twirling and wrapped his arms around himself. He looked back at his companion. Alexander was leaning against the entrance of the cave, arms crossed, expression inscrutable.

"We lived to tell the tale, Alexander." He still could not wipe the stupid grin off his face, knew it might seem in bad taste in light of Alexander's loss, but he could not help himself. He hadn't known how much he hadn't wanted to die until he was safe, the danger defeated once and for all.

"So it would seem." Alexander's voice was soft; Daniel had to strain to hear it over the slight breeze. Alexander pushed himself from the wall he had rested against and moved towards Daniel, his step slow and measured, as if walking were a thing he had studied but never put into practice.

There was a small twitch in his mind, like a spasm of something dying, which begged for him to run, but he didn't heed it, too flushed with his victory.

Alexander stopped with a lurch a few feet from Daniel. He pointed into the gloom. "There is a settlement, abandoned now, that lies not far from us. We can rest there and then-"He paused. "I don't know what then." He hid his face behind a hand.

"We will work on that later. A place to shelter seems like a bully plan for the moment." Daniel coaxed the baron's arm through his and surreptitiously led the man through the trees.

It wasn't much of a settlement, more a small house and a shack of a barn. The fence seemed to have collapsed and there were a good deal of stray pigs in the yard, studying them distrustfully as they neared.

"Are you sure it is abandoned?" Daniel asked.

"Recently so, yes. Let me go." He shook free of Daniel and went through the door. Daniel paused on the threshold. It seemed as if the door had been broken down, it hung from one hinge. When he put his hand upon it, it fell with a bone shattering crash.

"Do you destroy everything you touch?" The baron's voice was acidic. Daniel wondered if he was feeling better. He propped the door up, a crude attempt to keep the pigs out, and entered the main room. Alexander was crouched before the fireplace trying to coax flame from the dried twigs and leaves that seemed to have been gathered as kindling. Daniel looked around. This main room seemed to have acted as a bedroom as well. There were a few small beds shoved against the walls. A big table in the center of the room also gave the impression that it had been the dining room as well.

There was one door off of the room and Daniel poked his head into it. The master bedroom he presumed. There was a big bed and a wardrobe that had seen better days. He put his hand on the dark wood, fully expecting a memory to leap at him from the depths of his mind. Things remained blessedly silent though. Maybe his mind was at last willing to leave him in peace, his former self well and truly dead. He opened the wardrobe. The whole family had kept their clothes in it, he noted as he flicked through the garments. He selected a shirt and some breeches that looked as if they would fit him and tossed them on the bed. He turned, struggling to untie the silly cravat he had been sporting when he happened to catch glimpse of a mirror.

It was a full length affair and Daniel guessed it must have been some sort of treasured heirloom. There was no way that this family which seemed to have been so humble could have afforded its like. He stood before it and undressed. He watched in amazement as more of his body was revealed in its glass; it was the first time he had seen himself besides brief flashes from windowpanes and pools of dark water. He flung his soiled shirt to the floor, stripped off his pants which seemed to cling to him with the filth they had accumulated.

There he was, there was Daniel. Their first meeting. He turned one way and then the other, trying to commit to memory every injury, every scar and mole. He twisted around, looking over his shoulder to study his back and grimaced. There was a wealth of scars decorating it. "Not so pretty after all, am I?" He murmured.

"I would beg to differ." Daniel started, embarrassed to be caught admiring himself. "I have always found you quite appealing." Alexander was in the doorway, arms crossed, expression almost dour.

"I was just- I haven't had a chance to-"

Alexander, annoyed at his stuttering, stepped in. "You don't even remember what you look like. What a terrible thing you have done to yourself."

"I rather like to think it wasn't me, per say. It was another man. A very unhappy and sad man."

"And is that man dead now? Is he truly laid to rest?" Something stirred in those amber eyes and Daniel began to feel uneasy.

"I would like to think he found his peace."

"And yourself, what manner of creature do you take yourself for? Some sort of revenant?"

"I am…" He struggled for the words. "Alive." He smiled. "I'm alive. I think that is all that matters."

Alexander took a strand of his hair and began to twirl it around one long finger. "Perhaps you are right." He smiled. It was the first time Daniel had seen the man smile; It looked wicked. "You live and the evil lord has been well and truly defeated." He gave a mocking bow.

The smile slipped from Daniel's face. "I do not mean to seem to gloat. I take no pleasure in your plight. I have nothing but sympathy, but-"

"There is always a but isn't there." He was still sporting that half crazed look and Daniel felt vulnerable. He picked up the shirt from the bed and began to put it on, the fastening of buttons a welcome distraction.

"But your methods were inexcusable."

"They were only humans." His voice was a whisper, but Daniel shuddered at the rage it contained. "Little more than base animals, they are. The only things they strive for are the feeding of their petty desires and base instincts. Who in the vast multiverse would mind, would even notice, if they were wiped from existence?"

"And you were beyond trying to feed your petty desires and baser instincts, my lord?"

The former baron of Brennenberg bared his teeth and Daniel was reminded that no matter how defeated he appeared, he was not human, not even close.

Daniel took a breath and plunged on. "The man you claim to have loved was one of these base and petty creatures you do despised. If that is your true opinion of my race, that we are no more than beasts, I must confess to worry about what our relationship would have been like."

Alexander laughed. "And you think yourself human, now, little new born? You proclaim yourself a man? How amusing." His face showed him to be anything but.

"Of course I am!" Daniel raised his arms. "Look at me!"

"I am always looking at you. You need never worry about that. But look at me." He raised his arms, a mirror of Daniel. "Am I not also a man, by your criteria? I have the seeming of one. I could go into any marketplace, any great theater in the world and be thought such, but am I?"

"No, but-"

"Then what sets me apart?" _It's the same thing that now sets you apart now._ Daniel recoiled from the voice in his mind.

"You are being ridiculous. You're trying to trick me! I am human! I have to be!"

"Can a mere human speak with his mind, can he read the memories of a place with a touch? Can a human, petty and insignificant, be able to manipulate fire, not to mention reconstruct an Orb?"

"I- Stop. Just please, stop a moment."

"You have changed. Whatever was mortal in you died with that part of you that was…" Alexander looked away. "that I had broken. You are of me now." He met Daniel's eyes.

"I am nothing like you." Daniel almost spat it out.

Alexander chuckled and reached out to gently take his face in his hands. "I made you, little one, as surely as your Adam made his Eve out of his very essence." _His perfect mate._

"Why, then?" Daniel asked, knocking the hand from his face. "Why would you do that to me?"

"I fell in love."

The only sound for a long time was Daniel's ragged breaths.

"Did you ever love me?" He asked and Daniel closed his eyes, tried to shut out the raw pain, the bereavement he could feel in those words.

"I said I did. That Daniel did, at least. I must admit to not being very fond of you at the moment."

"You knew that I loved you."

"I knew your feelings for me. I would have had to be blind to not see your heart in the way you looked at me, in the way you still look at me, but I think I thought it would forever remain a thing unrealized, a thing unspoken, between us."

Alexander shook his head. "My darling little idiot." He moved forward and Daniel soon had his back pressed against the mirror, trying to edge away from him. "You hardly remember a thing, of our time together, our courting."

"Our what?"

Alexander ran his hand through Daniel's hair, watched with disturbing intensity as the strands fell through his fingers. "It was so hard, the winning of you. You have no idea how many times I despaired of it, that black, ache inside of myself whenever I thought of never having you." His hand clenched in the fabric of his robe. "I cannot go through it again."

"Do you mean to kill me?"

A scoff was his answer.

"Will you let me go then?"

"That would be the perfect ending you would envision. You, all puffed up and proud, the villain broken at your feet, alone and wretched once more."

"I take no joy in this, Alexander. I wanted you to go home, but I will not stand by a second time while you-"

"But tell me, Daniel, if I did free you, what then? Where would you wander off to? Can you even remember your name?"

"Daniel."

"Of?"

He frowned.

"Of what family, Daniel? What place? Tell me to whom and to where you belong and I will give up all claim to you." He grinned. "You can't, can you?"

"Let me go, I find no amusement in this." He tried to push past but was shoved back. The mirror cracked behind him.

"If I have to face more centuries in this gods forsaken land, if I must repeat everything once more, I will be damned if I face it all alone." He leaned forward and Daniel thought for a mad moment he meant to kiss him. He veered at the last moment, lips moving against Daniel's ear.

"In light of your transcendence, it seems only proper to court you this time around in a more traditional, more becoming fashion."

"And you think you can have me? Do you honestly think that I will let you reenact this sad, sad series of events again and let you use me as your doxy the whole while? If you truly think so, you have not been paying much attention to me." Daniel shoved him aside and made for the door. Alexander was quicker, grabbing his wrist he twisted and Daniel found himself being pulled off course and thrown against the wall. A strong hand on the back of his neck pushed his face against it.

"It's such a heartening sign to see you enter this courtship so spirited."

"You are mad."

"No, only tired and fed up at your always running from the inevitable."

"If this is my wooing, I am noticing a conspicuous lack of flowers and sweet nothings. How exactly does your kind go about the winning of their mates?"

Alexander released him and backed away. When Daniel turned, the former baron was crouched at the end of the bed like some feral creature. With a smile that bordered on ghoulish he gestured towards the door. "Daniel, run."


	18. Chapter 18

The flames finally caught. Alexander stared at them dully. Lost, everything lost. All those years for nothing. It had been within his reach-victory, his home, his Daniel-he had almost had had it all. How had it all gone wrong? He raked a hand through his hair.

A small sound drew his attention to the other room. Daniel-his Daniel no longer-was rummaging around. Curiosity got the better of him and he stood, wondering what was occupying his lost lover.

Daniel was undressing, fascinated by his reflection. He would strip off one article of clothing and then pause, savoring what had been exposed, running his fingers over his skin, exploring his new flesh.

Alexander's breath caught in his throat. It was a beautiful scene. He often had imagined Daniel undressing like this for him, slow and teasing, every gesture an invitation. All the young man needed to do was turn and smile at him and everything would be right again… But he didn't. Alexander felt the rage in himself kindle. He would not be defeated, not entirely. He refused to leave Brennenberg empty handed.

* * *

Daniel grumbled and curled up deeper in the nest of blankets Alexander had arranged around him. Alexander was insufferably pleased with himself. He spent the whole morning, or what was left of it after he finally stirred himself and worked up the energy to tear himself away from Daniel, humming to himself as he moved about the small house. Daniel could barely move, the slightest fidget awakening pain in muscles he had never known he had had. He supposed some of it was due to his misadventures in Castle Brennenberg, but he chalked up a good share of his misery to the indignities that Alexander had visited upon his person after their escape.

He felt a small mental pinch and winced. He forgot that Alexander could now hear his every thought, a side effect of what had transpired last night. He wondered if this permanent link between their minds went both ways. He reached out, albeit a bit shakily, for Alexander…and was harshly slapped away. He hissed and curled up into a tighter ball, now sporting a headache along with his other wounds.

"Behave yourself, Daniel." Alexander called from the main room.

"It's not fair." Daniel called back.

Footsteps across the rickety floorboards and Alexander poked his head into the bedroom. "What is, my love?"

"That not only can you now violate my body when you desire, but my very mind as well. Am I allowed to have nothing to myself?"

"Not until I know you will not behave foolishly."

Daniel propped himself up on one elbow, wincing at the agony it caused. "And I'm not allowed to touch your mind, even though you can walk into my head anytime you desire?"

"Once you learn how to properly do it. You're very new at this, love, and therefore quite clumsy." He fully entered the room, walking over to where Daniel huddled in the bed they had shared last night. Daniel flinched away from him. "You inadvertently hurt me when you try to establish contact." He reached out and stroked Daniel's hair. "We will have to practice." There was a faint smile on his lips; Daniel realized it was fond and grimaced. "I will admit it has been a very long time since the days when I was taught the rudimentary basics and etiquette, but I dare say we will muddle through."

"And what if I do not want your lessons? I am already, according to you, inhuman enough without…encouraging these unholy talents."

Alexander laughed. "There is nothing unholy about them." His smile turned wicked and something akin to a caress stroked through Daniel's mind, tangling in everything that sent pleasure throughout his body and tugging. He moaned and stretched up into those sensations. Alexander withdrew, the smile now a smirk, and Daniel glared at him. "Are you hungry?" The finger on his temple trailed down his unshaven cheek and gently tilted his head up.

Daniel jerked away and pulled the covers up over his head.

 _Answer me, love._ That damned voice, compelling him to obey.

"Yes. I am."

The covers were snatched back. "I will see to our breakfast then. But first, if you would be so kind as to indulge me for a few moments…" He had one knee on the bed and Daniel realized with horror that he meant to lie down beside him.

He drew back. "Alexander, I can't! You used me horribly and I hurt. if I have to go through that again, I will-"

 _Hush._ The command cut through his rising panic and held him still as Alexander slid in beside him and took him into his arms. "I just wanted to hold you for a bit. Kiss you if you can stand my impure touch." Sarcasm dripped from his words but the thoughts that reached out and laced through Daniel's vibrated with hurt…and a good deal of worry.

"Afraid that you will break your toy again?" Daniel turned at the last moment so Alexander's lips grazed only his cheek.

"Do not be unkind to me." A tightening in the strands of mind that wasn't quite pain, but almost. Daniel, defeated for the moment, let himself relax as much as was possible in Alexander's embrace.

"Did you truly not enjoy last night at all? Even a little?" His lips brushed Daniel's ear when he spoke and Daniel could not suppress a shiver.

There was no emotion in his voice, but again his mind betrayed him. Daniel realized that the only reason he was able to read into the former baron this much was because he was being allowed to. It was…galling.

"No. I told you, it hurt."

"I thought maybe towards the end…"

In truth Daniel could not remember much of the hours after they had found this abandoned settlement and when he had awoken this morning. He had no clear memory of events, but the sensations lingered, vivid and gruesome. There might have been the ghost of pleasure in there somewhere, but if so, it was buried under the chaotic swirl of terror and agony and that gut-wrenching sense of violation as his mind had been shredded apart and then rebuilt.

Alexander gently gathered his thoughts to himself. "I will just…I will leave you to compose yourself and will prepare our breakfast." He slipped out of bed and out the door.

Daniel rolled over and shut his eyes, throwing the thought at Alexander's retreating back that he would love to have another draught of Damascus Rose.

* * *

His stomach growled and Daniel realized that his self-appointed lover had been gone a long time. Daniel wondered if he had driven him off, but also knew that his luck did not seem to be that good. He made himself straighten out, wincing as his body protested, and gingerly rose from the bed. After hunting through the wardrobe, he found a shirt that must have belonged to a strapping brute and slipped it on. He did not think he could bear trousers at the moment and would make do with just it. It's not like Alexander would let him preserve his modesty for long at any rate.

He stepped out into the courtyard and winced, the sunlight piercing through his very skull. He shaded his eyes with a hand and scanned the sparse surroundings. Nothing. No trace of Alexander, no trace of even the damn pigs from last night. Maybe he really had been abandoned. If so, how was he ever to reach civilization on his own? He remembered the town of Altstadt dimly, but had no idea where it lay in regards to his current location.

The image of the barn rose up in his mind's eye and he sighed, making his unsteady way to the dilapidated building. "So you're in here then?" He called out as he approached a sizable gap between two boards in the wall. He supposed it was meant to be the door of the establishment. He hesitated at the darkness inside, a reaction that was as instinctive to his nature as his heartbeat it seemed. He wondered what had happened to him to make him fear it so? He had the sense it was a terror that had lived in him well before the Shadow.

A small tug in his mind. He took a deep breath and entered, pausing just inside to let his eyes adjust to the gloom.

Alexander was crouched down on the floor, a knife, point driven into the floorboards, in one hand. There was a bucket before him filled to the brim with some dark liquid. Still being filled, he corrected, following the steady stream of it upwards. It was falling from… Daniel saw what was suspended from the rafters. His legs gave out on him and he spilled to the floor, knees and hands striking hard as he caught himself, body screaming at the rattling jar it caused. He was retching, nothing in his stomach to bring up, but that seemed to not be a concern. He was shaking and his thoughts were helter-skelter, breath growing more rapid as he couldn't seem to draw in enough air.

Alexander was on his knees beside him in an instant, hands smoothing back his hair, voice gentle and his mind wrapping around him, dulling everything in a soothing cloud. Daniel practically threw himself into the fiend's arms, sobbing, chest afire.

"Love, calm yourself. Whatever is the matter?"

"How could you do that? How can you keep doing things like that? You're a monster. A monster."

"Daniel, it's breakfast. It was only a swine."

And it had been only a pig, but for a moment memories of other things strung up for the slaughter had superimposed over it.

Daniel pushed him away, or tired to. Alexander had a firm grip on him and no intention of letting go. He took a breath, tried to talk and realized he could not get his voice steady enough for speech. _Please, let me go. I need to get out of here_ , he pleaded.

Alexander winced. _Too loud_. A small tweak in Daniel's head to chastise, but he seemed to acquiesce to Daniel's wishes. An arm was around Daniel's shoulders and trying to help him rise, but Daniel's legs seemed to not want to obey him. Alexander growled something when it was obvious that keeping hold of Daniel would result in both of them falling to the ground, so without giving Daniel time to react, he scooped the man up in his arms and hurried out into the sunlight.

Halfway to the house it occurred to Daniel that he should protest being carried like a new bride. _Aren't you, though?_ He smacked Alexander on the shoulder and began to squirm. "Let me carry you. Bear with it until we are inside the house-"

"No! Please. Put me here. Let me stay in the sunlight!"

Alexander paused. Daniel felt the tension in the arms that held him. It wasn't due to the strain of carrying him, the man's strength was preternatural. He reached out for the other man's mind and ran into a blank wall. "Please." He whispered, placing a hand on Alexander's face, trying to convey through that small touch how much he needed this.

Silently, Alexander turned and walked towards the lone tree the yard held. He placed Daniel down so his back could rest against it. Daniel murmured his thanks and closed his eyes, tried to erase the memories that kept bubbling up to the surface. If only he could remember something pleasant to banish them with! But the only things he could recall from his former life were of pain, betrayal and being hunted.

A rustle of fabric and he felt Alexander lean against him, shoulder resting against his, outstretched leg pressed against his own. "Do you have an aversion to trousers?" He asked one finger trailing over Daniel's exposed thigh.

Daniel hurriedly pulled the shirt down as far as he could and moved away from Alexander. The bastard was grinning at him. "I-" Admitting that he was sore would probably not help the situation. "I could not find any that would fit me."

"I see." He tugged on the hem, easing it up slightly until Daniel slapped his hand away. "As I recall, you seemed to not like them…before either. Traipsing through the chill halls in nothing but a nightgown at all hours of the day and night, as if you were a character from one of your Byron's works."

"And I'm sure you complained and were offended by my lack of modesty." Daniel could feel his cheeks heat and cursed how easily he seemed to blush.

"I found it refreshing. And, as I alluded to last night, looking at you is my sole enjoyment in this world." He turned towards Daniel, his hand resting on his bare thigh, thumb just under the bottom of the shirt. Daniel tried to move away from the invasive touch, but was stopped by an arm around his shoulders drawing him back. "All better now?" Alexander asked, nuzzling the fine hairs on his temple.

Daniel was about to angrily retort that being molested was not better than anything he could think of when he realized what Alexander was asking about. His thoughts were calm again, the horrors from this life and his previous one once more submerged and asleep in their depths. Sly old fox. He nodded. "Thank you. For distracting me." He put a hand over the one that was slowly creeping further up his leg. "You may stop now."

"May I have another chance?"

"At what?" Daniel turned his head, forgetting how close Alexander already was. Their noses brushed.

"At last night." His thumb was rubbing little half circles alarming close to Daniel's pelvic bone. "It can be better. I can erase last night's memories with the pleasure I can give you now. Let me try."

"No." Daniel said, exasperated.

"Let me make love to you under the sun. It-"

"If I had my way you would never touch me again." His elbow met the former baron's ribs. He was surprised that Alexander let him go, only sat and watched as he crawled away out of arm's reach. "Go back to carving up your swine, Alexander. It seems to be another pastime you enjoy, the slaughtering of innocent creatures."

"Do not be ugly." The voice was quiet, but the emotions that bled out from the words, that Daniel's brain could now interpret, were threatening.

"I- I'm just- Please. Give me some time alone."

"Very well. I will finish with our breakfast. Call out to me," he gestured to his temple. "if you need me." _Please need me_. It was small and ever so faint, that last thought. Daniel realized that he was not meant to have been privy to it.

"I will."

Alexander took a few steps away from him and stopped. With his back turned to Daniel, he asked, "Will you ever forgive me?"

"No. Not ever."

There was no rebuke from Alexander, no cutting remark. He just walked away, looking like a man defeated. Daniel would not let himself feel sorry for him. He would not let a smidgeon of pity for that monster live in his heart. He let himself fall back into the grass, sprawling in the sunlight, trying to let the warmth burn away every trace of impurity, every shadow in him. He had promised Alexander last night that he would hate him for eternity. It was a promise he intended to keep…

* * *

It had been a short race. Daniel was hurt and exhausted and Alexander had everything to lose. The shirt ripped as Daniel fell, Alexander's fist wrapped in it. The baron was on top of him, hot breath on his face and Daniel pushing against his shoulders. "Don't." Alexander was panting and not with exertion. He yanked the rest of the shirt off and Daniel bit his lip to keep from crying out as the wound in his side reopened. Alexander looked down at the blood flowing over his finger and drew back.

"What? Do you not have me where you want me? Powerless and at your mercy?" Daniel snarled. "Just do it and be done with it. Take your pleasure and leave."

"You think this rape?" Alexander traced the bridge of his nose, the line of one brow. Daniel shrank from the touch. "Think of it more as a…proposal."

Daniel struggled, tried to push the man off of him, but Alexander easily pinned both his wrists. "And this is the way your kind does this? And you think our ways barbarous?"

"I think this way more kind."

"For whom?" Daniel's eyes were glittering with rage and a fair amount of pain as he tried to free himself and failed.

"For both parties involved. Now be a good lad and lie still for a moment."

"No! A million times no! I'll fight you with my last-"

Alexander smiled. "No need for that. If you want to refuse me, it's quite simple. Kill me." He let go of Daniel's wrists and sat back, still astride him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Kill me. If you wish to refuse this that is the only option."

"That's monstrous! "

"No, that's the beauty of it, Daniel. No one leaves with a broken heart. Now," He placed Daniel hands around his own throat. "Squeeze."

"I can't."

"You've taken more than your fair share of lives. You can do this. Now end this farce between us."

"I can't! How can you ask this of me? How can you put me through this if you say you love me?" He turned his head to the side, but couldn't hide his sobs. "I just want to go home. Just let me-"

"You have no home." Alexander brushed his hair from his face. Daniel was surprised to see the other man's hands were shaking. "You once said that I was your home. It can be so again, if you wish it."

Daniel closed his eyes.

"Daniel? Will you? Will you murder me?"

He shook his head.

Alexander ran a palm down Daniel's chest, stopping just above the wound in his side. "You realize there is no going back. I gave you your chance. By the ways of my kind we have a contract as binding as if we had sold our souls to one another."

Daniel turned away.

"Well then," Alexander's lips parted in a broad grin. "It appears we are to have ourselves a wedding night." He cupped Daniel's cheek, hooked his thumb under his jaw and forced him to turn back. He leaned over until their foreheads touched. "Now, this next part will hurt."

* * *

Afterwards Alexander could not seem to stop touching Daniel. The young man had his back to him, curled up almost into a ball and shivering. Alexander ran his hand over that sweat and blood streaked back, marveling at how soft the skin was, how lovely the bones he could feel underneath were. And all his now. Gently he wrote the word "meine" along Daniel's spine with a finger, pressed a kiss to it as soon as he had finished. "I love you." He whispered, lips against Daniel's shoulder. He gave a small bite when Daniel didn't respond.

Daniel stirred, rolled over to face him, his every motion slow and pained. His face reflected none of the ecstatic emotion that was coursing through Alexander. His eyes were weary, almost dead with exhaustion.

Alexander touched his cheek, traced his lips. "I love you." He repeated louder, desperation bleeding through.

Daniel smiled, tight and grim. "And I hate you. I will hate you until my dying breath, I swear it."

Alexander's smile slipped from his face. He regarded the man in his arms, his new mate. Then he let his human disguise drop. "Your life is tied to mine now and my kind live eons. You will love me again." _We have all the time in all the worlds. And as the years pass, my transgressions will fade from your mind._

Daniel shook his head and closed his eyes. Alexander placed his hand over his heart, felt the beating of it against his palm. Mine. Everything mine, his body, his mind, his very soul, except this thing, the thing I most desire. He never knew victory could be such a cold thing.


	19. Epilogue Chapter 1

1848

"I never knew such beauty could exist." Daniel slumped back in his chair, eyes wide and hands clenched on his thighs. "How have I never heard this before?"

"You have." Alexander crossed his leg and tapped his cane on the floor, the staccato bursts conveying his annoyance. "You used to go on at great length about how much you missed your music, your symphonies and your operas. Music and books were all you would ever talk about. That and mourning your-" He stopped abruptly, the cane falling with one final thump on the floorboards.

"Mourning who?" Daniel tried to fight the daze the music had lulled him into. Reluctant as he was to leave this blissful state, his curiosity was a powerful thing. "Who was I mourning?"

"Your former life. Your damned England and your even more damnable excursions to grope through the secrets of the past."

 _Liar_ , he thought, but even after almost ten years as the man's forced companion he was no wiser on the ways of parting Alexander from information that he did not want to share. He picked up the hat that he had thrown on the empty seat beside him and began to turn it around over and over in his hands. After a while Alexander reached over and plucked it from him. He set it on his own lap, a spidery hand over the top of it to keep Daniel from grabbing it back.

"I do not remember." He said, finally breaking the silence. He gestured over the edge of the box Alexander had reserved just for the two of them. "I don't remember liking the orchestra or even if I can play any of those instruments down there. You tell me I loved books just as passionately, but I cannot even tell you a single author I might have read. I remember the names of the famous ones, the ones everyone knows, but only as that: names. I have no," He spun his hand around searching for the words. "imprint of myself on them. Did I like them? Hate them? Had I even read them?" He pulled on a lock of his hair. "You have no idea how frustrating it can be."

Alexander was quiet a moment, his yellow eyes fixed on a point in the middle distance. "You're wrong. I do know how frustrating your continued amnesia is. I know all too well."

Daniel stood up and went to the edge of the box. Leaning over he watched the musicians begin to file in and once more pick up their instruments, preparing them.

"Is that why you brought me here? To see if you can jar something loose in here?" He tapped his head. There was no answer behind him. He grasped the railing so tightly his knuckles whitened. "Why would you-"He stopped himself from asking the question, not wanting to hear the answer, already knowing the answer.

Alexander had never stopped hoping, in all these years, for his Daniel to return. Whoever that man had been before the amnesia tonic, it had been the one person that Alexander had ever loved besides himself. The Daniel now before him was just a memento mori of sorts, something to hold at night and lie to himself with because they shared the same face and shape, but this Daniel was lacking that special spark that had attracted in the first place. He could feel the loneliness in Alexander sometimes late at night when the other man thought him asleep. It was like a howling maw of despair and self-pity threatening to devour the man whole. The only thing that kept it at bay was that preposterous hope; hope that his Daniel would come back.

It was on the tip of his tongue to share with Alexander an insight he had had, that even if a miracle occurred and the damage from the Damascus Rose undone, he would still never ever love him. There had been a reason he had taken the damned stuff in the first place after all, there had been a rift that Alexander had created between them himself. The fell creature seated behind Daniel could never be capable of love let alone be the recipient of it.

A pain bloomed behind his eyes. His vision blurred and he bit his lip, his hold on the balcony the only thing keeping him upright. Why _do you always forget that I listen in?_ The mind-voice was a bestial snarl. Daniel struggled against it for a moment then admitted his defeat and submitted. One last growl that echoed in his head and set his ears ringing and Alexander was gone, curled up in his own mind to lick his supposed wounds. Daniel shook his head, tried to wipe the last traces of Alexander from it.

An eerie sound rose from the below them. It gradually increased in volume, notes trembling in the air. The orchestra was signaling that they were ready to start the last half of the concert. "Oh!" Pain and his 'lover' forgotten, Daniel stood on tiptoe to see the stage better.

"Come sit down, you look like a child." His voice was weary, but it held the slightest hint of fondness. Daniel frowned, but complied, taking his seat beside Alexander once more. He closed his eyes and let the music wash over him. It echoed through his bones, coursed through his blood. Shunted aside every dark though and terrible fear and left only a blessed blankness behind. It all felt so…purifying. It made him believe, for the first time since this new life had been foisted upon him, that it was possible to be cleansed, to rid himself of these sins that weren't truly his own and become…something else, something utterly his own.

When Alexander put an arm around him he barely noticed, too caught up in this new love that was awakening within him. He did not even stir when lips were pressed against his hair or hear the pleas in the other man's mind as he was held and for a brief time allowed it.

They dined somewhere extravagant and scrumptious, but Daniel did not care for the richness of meals and all the restaurants Alexander tried to impress him with bled together in his mind. He imbibed more wine than his usual amount-due to their conversation being more strained than usual- and was a bit ashamed that when he stood up he found that he needed Alexander's help walking to their carriage.

"I am terribly sorry." He mumbled for the hundredth time as he was handed into the cab.

"Think nothing of it. You were much worse in your days of laudanum stupor." A white flash across his brain and an image of himself standing in the rain, not a stitch on and Alexander watching him with a yearning and a lust so hard that it was akin to pain.

"I think you preferred me in that state." He huffed, a flush on his cheeks not altogether the fault of the alcohol.

"I did not at the time." A stab of regret and then Alexander settled his thoughts more firmly around himself. The image of a fowl fluffing out its feathers as it seated itself came to Daniel's mind and he burst out laughing. Alexander almost reached into his head to find the source of his sudden merriment, Daniel could feel the invisible fingers scratching their nails along his skull, but he seemed to lose interest and withdrew.

Daniel curled up on his side of the seat, immediately closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to the cool window. He felt Alexander climb in, the carriage tilting slightly at his weight. He was surprised when Alexander settled beside him, their clothes brushing in the cramped space. Of late Alexander seemed to want to distance himself from Daniel, always choosing the seat opposite, keeping that empty air between them as an impenetrable barrier. Alexander rapped his cane on the floor _tock tock tock_ and the carriage lurched forward to their apartments.

"Is Paris agreeing with you?"

Daniel jerked, almost having fallen asleep. He pondered the question. "No more or less than any other place we've traveled."

"I see." A quiet that screamed with things unsaid fell.

"Why do we never go to England? It seems we have traveled the width and berth of Europe, but never once have we set foot there. If you were to find what you are looking for, it would be there, I dare say." If anything would trigger memories, surely it would be the land of his birth. He didn't need to open his eyes to tell that Alexander had his lips pressed together in a firm, immobile line and that the frown lines in his brow were as deep as chasms.

"Perhaps there are some things I am thankful you do not remember." Was all he said.

"Hm." Daniel thought of his fear of the dark and the scars on his back and did not press further. He wanted to tell Alexander that he was dreaming of a little girl of late, not the one in Brennenberg whom he had murdered, though she was often in his dreams as well. In this reoccurring dream the two girls played together in the sunlight, pausing when they sensed him, heads shooting up like startled deer. One's face held a trepidation, a wariness, that shamed him, but the other…She always smiled so broadly, so unreservedly, and he would think of stars cutting the darkness and warm fire keeping the shadows at bay. He bit his tongue. Alexander would never answer him if he asked, but oh, how it pained his heart that those sweet children would forever remain unnamed and barely remembered.

The air was cold tonight; winter was on its way. He stretched, and, after a moment's deliberation, turned to curl up against Alexander; the man was always warm. Alexander went stiff. Daniel had his cheek by his heart, unable to hear its beating through the thick wool of the cape he wore. A thought struck him. He opened his eyes and leaned back enough to see Alexander's face. Alexander hastily put a hand on his waist to keep him from tumbling onto the floor. "May we go again tomorrow?"

A slow blink of those yellow, feral eyes. "Where? The restaurant?"

"No, I don't care about where we eat, I never shall! The symphony. May we go again? Will you take me?"

A thoughtful expression, just shy of calculating, crossed Alexander's expression. "We will have to see."

"Please, Alexander, I really want to go."

Long fingers were tucked under his chin. "This is the first time you have ever asked me for anything." Was that the faintest of smiles tucked in the corners of that cruel mouth?

"Alexander!"

"Do not pout so. I will think on it."

They would see it again tomorrow, Daniel could tell by the glow that suddenly warmed against his mind and a stirring deep in the depths of the former baron's mind, as if something were about to take flight.

* * *

Alexander had thought hell had been those long centuries stranded in a dull and primitive land alone and half mad with despair. He had not conceived that it could ever become worse than those seemingly endless grey days. Then a cursed ingenue from England, all pleading eyes and too soft lips, had proven him wrong. The young man-and such a frail, harmless looking creature he had seemed-had given him his wildest dreams, his eternal hopes, on a platter and then flung them cruelly away. His chance to a homecoming: lost. The promise of an adoring and adored lover: dead before the consummation.

Alexander would be the first to admit that at times he took out his rage and despair on the man who wore the shape of his heart, but was he not also justified in it? Everything, everything, lost lost lost because of _him_.

But as cruel as he could be, Daniel still proved the cruelest of all. He watched his paramour bounce on one foot and then the other, eager for the opera to begin. "You will explain it to me, won't you? If I cannot understand it?"

"Yes, Daniel. I already gave you my word that I would." He tried to be annoyed, but could not help the traitorous smile from his lips. Still so beguiling in his manner, still so child-like in his pleasures.

"I had a thought." He sat down beside him. Alexander's breath caught ever so slightly when Daniel pressed against him. It was rare for him to touch Alexander willingly and he hungered for it, was starved for it.

"And what was that, my love?" His head canted ever so slightly to the right, just enough for the soft strands of Daniel's hair to brush his cheek.

"Can we…" A feather-light touch against his mind. Alexander flinched slightly, remembering when the boy had not been as trained. If thoughts could have left bruises… But as much as Daniel had protested his lessons at first, he had accepted them as necessary and shown some finesse with the subtle art of it. Alexander forced himself to relax and even let Daniel be the one to lace their minds together. It was hard to give up that control. He had had precious little control when he fell to this dreary world and the little he could grasp, he held on to with a death's grip. He hoped Daniel realized how much the gesture cost him and valued it for the precious gift it was.

 _I realized it would be easier this way than having you have to whisper to me throughout. You don't mind do you?_ A small squeeze on his arm and a tightening of their binding.

Alexander shivered. _Not at all_. The lights dimmed and Daniel's hand found his own. The fear of the dark was soon forgotten though as the music started. Daniel hung on every word, every note, and Alexander was enthralled with the emotions and the depth of the feelings that reverberated through the slight frame at his side. Who would be able to tell at a glance that the too slender man with the haunted eyes kept such passion hidden under that paper-thin skin and those oh-so-breakable bones? Alexander had known though, he had always known. He had seen it in the young waif that had found his way to his doorstep, the devil behind him, years and years ago. Had seen it instantly and had wanted to claim it-protect it- for his own. He had forgotten them, those feelings when he had first laid sight on his Daniel. He had lived almost a decade with naught but burning resentment and a stubborn attachment to a ghost in his heart and oh, it had hurt. But now, in the dark-Daniel's hand still in his own-with Daniel caught up in the music and Alexander very much caught up in Daniel, he realized that he was still capable of forgiveness, and still very much in love.

At the end of the opera Daniel withdrew from him. Alexander's thoughts clutched, like the grubby paws of a child, at Daniel's as they separated. He regretted that he had taught the boy too well, as Daniel deftly evaded their grabs. Daniel smiled, a small and mischievous lift of his lips, and he suddenly plunged his mind deeper into Alexander's, trailed mental fingers down a certain part that led to a spark of synapses like fireworks behind Alexander's eyes. He had to bite his lip hard to keep from moaning. _Thank you_. Then Daniel was back behind the barriers of his own will and standing up, walking away. Alexander wondered if he could throw the young man down, have him here and now. It had an illicit thrill to it.

Daniel laughed and shook his head. He pulled back the curtain that separated their private box from the hall and ducked through it. It was several moments before Alexander could follow.

* * *

The second seduction of Daniel was an easy thing. Alexander found himself for the first time being thankful to the Damascus Rose. What fine wines on his tongue and finer clothes against his skin could not do, librettos and concertos could spring open with no effort at all. Every night Alexander wooed with tickets and theaters; their pillow talk was fevered, whispered discussions on Dickens and Hugo. Daniel was finally not shrinking from the caresses and affections Alexander gave, so wrapped up in their discourse that he barely noticed a hand on his thigh, a kiss on his forehead.

"I wish I remembered these things. I wish I hadn't forgotten them." Daniel murmured sadly, their bodies entwined. Alexander's head was resting between Daniel's too prominent shoulder blades, a place Alexander revered almost as much as the scared hollow of his hip.

"I'm glad of it. Seeing you fall in love with them again, to be able to introduce them to you" He kissed the nape of his neck and smiled as Daniel leaned back against him. "It is the highest of honors."

Daniel turned around in his arms, still pressed tightly against him. Alexander rose up until their noses touched slightly. His little love looked so solemn. He was about to distract with kisses and deliciously lascivious thoughts, when Daniel put a finger to his lips, halting him.

"May I speak my mind? For a moment?"

"Of course, my love." He was instantly wary, his expression guarded.

"This has been nice, has it not? These last few weeks?"

"I have been very happy. So have you." It was accusatory.

"I have." Daniel admitted, long lashes obscuring his eyes. "I have been very happy. For the first time since I awakened in that darkened hall ten years past." He took Alexander's hand and laid it against his heart. "I would like to remain so." When Alexander did nothing but study Daniel's face, Daniel took a breath and continued. "I can sense your growing restlessness, I can feel the plans formulating within you once more. You want to try again for your portal. I'm not surprised by it, but am a bit astonished that it has taken you this long for these stirrings to begin."

A silver eyebrow arched. Daniel laced his fingers through his lover's. "Can you- Could you…not?" He plunged on in a deluge of words. "It's just that I feel we could find some sort of peace here, we might even find some sort of happiness as we are. Do you really need to ruin it? Cannot you content yourself with things as they are and not start up the bloodshed once again? Surely any journey that would cost so much would be damned."

"Are we not already damned, beloved?"

"Maybe. Yes, I think. But I also feel we can make some sort of amends here, at least try to. Then maybe…maybe Providence will reveal another way for you to go home. One that does not bear such a hideous price."

"I must pay for my sins here and if I am a good boy I will be rewarded by a god I do not believe in and whose religion I have naught but contempt for. You are not winning me over, Daniel."

"But-" He started, stopped to gather his thoughts. "If you go that route, if you once more walk that path of carnage, I will not walk it with you."

"You do not get to threaten me, little one. "

Daniel took a shuddering breath and Alexander found himself enthralled by the quiver in his lips, the shine of resolve in his eyes. "Do it for me then." He pled at last. "If you love me, if you want to…keep me, then please, just let it be."

"And I should just give up then? Wait here in this world in the cesspit of the multiverse for some other method to fall into my lap from you _Providence_ or resign myself to being stuck here forever? How did you ever summon up the gall to-"

Daniel pulled away from him, stood up, his back a straight pale line in the gloom, his arms crossed tightly in front of him. "You have the temerity to expect me to relive what ruined me once before. Which is the greater crime?"

"I did nothing wrong."

Daniel laughed. "Maybe you need to realize that you did. If you won't admit that torturing innocents for your own gain for centuries was the most grievous of sins, maybe you will admit that you wronged _me_. If your sin has a face, one you claim to love so very much, does it make it more real to you? Does it become something your lofty and superior intellect can grasp?" He turned slightly and Alexander was able to see the curve of a cheek and the dark hollow of an eye. "Start up your games again and I will find a way to leave you, I do promise you that."

"You haven't been able to so far." Alexander sat up and gave Daniel's pillow an angry smack. "Cease the toothless threats and come back to bed. Lie down beside me again."

Daniel faced him, he was smiling and Alexander tried not to flinch from it. "I haven't escaped your shackles," he tapped his forehead, "because I have not been trying in earnest and when we first began our travels together I did not yet have the training to utilize this gift you have given me."

"You still cannot break free of me; you can never be free of me. We are bonded, you idiot."

"And I am sure there are limits to it. I just need time and patience, things I find I have in abundance now. As you told me many years ago, we have eons before us…my love."

Alexander snarled.

"I think I am being more than fair with you. Much more fair than you have ever treated me. You have a choice, either go back to your home as fast as you can and lose me, or…" His voice trailed off and he shrugged.

"You little viper."

"Ask yourself where your heart lies, my former lord. If it truly is not with me anymore, than let me go and the devil speed your homecoming." As he turned to leave their room, a vase from their bedside table hurled against the wall and shattered. A fragment of porcelain grazed his cheek. He sighed and resumed walking, Alexander hurling curses in languages not even human at his back.

* * *

Paris was rather pretty at night. It seemed to be a city that never slept and the houses and streetlights were continuously alight, defying the darkness and pushing it back. It was something Daniel could appreciate and admire.

A blanket was draped over his shoulders and Alexander roughly took hold of him, pressing him against his chest. "Have you no shame? If are going to take in the night air, at least make sure you are suitably attired."

"No one will look up at our window this late at night. Besides, who would wish to look upon me?"

"More than you deign to notice. Cover yourself when you go by the windows, or else I will have to fight more duels than I desire for your honor."

Daniel laughed and shook his head. "So prone to exaggeration, Alexander. No one wants me, save you. Do you still want me?"

Alexander's breath was against his cheek and then a swift lap of tongue across the wound he had caused earlier from the vase.

"Alexander?"

"Yes, damn you. You. I choose you. It honestly was not any sort of choice from the onset. It will always come down to you."

"So bitter sounding, my love."

Alexander turned him around, hands tight on his upper arms. He shook him. "You do not get to leave me after this. If I set aside my quest, it means you are at my side willingly. Forever. And you better be damned grateful about it."

"I thought that that would be understood, love."

Alexander crushed their mouths together, devouring Daniel, trying to bruise and brand and possess all at once. A little while. He could stand to wait a little while longer. To appease Daniel. He knew how to open the gate already; it would take him less time than the previous attempt and he would have such a charming companion this time around to while away the years as he waited, as he secretly gathered and searched. And what his beloved did not know would not hurt Alexander.


	20. Chapter 20

1901

"Alexander, you found us!" Alexander stopped, the ready and genuine smile that graced Daniel's face never failing to stun him.

"It was not easy. You said you would be in Gaza." He shaded his eyes from the merciless sun that beat down on them. He studied Daniel's face as a man dying of thirst and seeing an oasis at last. "You have taken too much sun. I told you to take care of yourself."

Daniel waved away his rebuke, walking towards him. This close and Alexander could smell the sweat on him, the faint floral scent of his soap underneath it. "We had our license for the Gaza dig revoked. Some small squabble with the French at the embassy. Luckily we were able to snatch this place out from under their noses."

He began to walk towards the tents, not even glancing to the side to see if Alexander would follow. Of course he did, he always trailed behind Daniel like the most obedient of curs, not like the boy ever noticed. "And how were your travels, Alexander? Did you get that dreadful business with the banks sorted?"

"That 'dreadful business' gives you the funds to play around in the dirt another season." His hand hovered over the small of Daniel's back. He longed to rest it there, to pull the young man to him and hold him as tight as he could, making up for the long, long nights they had been apart. But as Daniel often had to point out, public affections between the same gender were still forbidden even in this desolate country.

"And I am thankful for it, do not misunderstand me. I do not understand how you can keep it all straight! Stocks and bonds…all those numbers…" He shook his head and made a face as if there were a foul taste in his mouth.

"You use numbers everyday with your little excavations. I know you are adept at your maths." A small smile flickered in the corners of his mouth.

"That is very different."

"How is it different?"

Daniel slowed until they were walking side by side. He leaned towards him ever so slightly so that his arm brushed against Alexander's. "Because this is fun." He grinned and quickened his pace before Alexander could grab for him, that slight touch of skin almost his undoing.

They made the rest of the way to the camp in companionable silence. Alexander's hands clenched in his pockets so he would not forget himself.

"Here." Daniel pointed to a tent that looked like the rest.

"What is here?" Alexander wondered if he could convince Daniel to let them travel into the small town nearby so they might enjoy the meager civilization offered by the local inn.

"Something that needs your attention." He grabbed Alexander by the front of his shirt and pulled him into the stifling confines of the tent.

As soon as the tent flap had fallen behind them plunging them in gloom Daniel had his mouth against Alexander's. Surprised though he was, he was no fool. He hastened to return it, hands seeking Daniel's still too slim waist and drawing him nearer. Eager fingers combed through his silver hair, muffled sighs and pants escaping between the wet sounds of their mouths. Damn self-control. He knelt just enough to slide his hands down to cup Daniel's thighs and then straightened, the young man having the presence of mind to wrap his arms around his neck as he was lifted or risk toppling them both over.

Daniel untangled himself enough to point at the small camp bed. Alexander did not even bother to nod, he just let them both tumble down onto it, trying to get as close to Daniel as was possible. And Daniel laughed. Bless him and damn him, he laughed as Alexander tore at their clothes and then took him with the barest wink at preparation. Even when his mouth became too preoccupied with the delicious moans and cries, the laughter was still there dancing in those green eyes right through to the end when Alexander finally gave a growl of triumph and stilled against him.

"Were you not worried that your workers would hear us?" He didn't care if they heard. He wanted them to hear, to know that this lovely man reclining beside him was his. He trailed his fingers down Daniel's back, splayed his hand against it. Daniel was almost the same coloring as he was now, the pale waif of Brennenberg a thing of the distant past.

Daniel shrugged and then leaned up into Alexander's strokes, very much like a spoiled feline. "They should all be either at the site or in town on leave. Besides, I could not wait another instant." He turned, a hand curled under his cheek, the other reaching out to play with the strands of Alexander's hair. "I missed you."

The emotion he felt was so intense, so tangled a thing, he did not know if he could ever name it. "I missed you too." His voice more husky than he would have liked.

"You will stay a while." It was more a command than a question and Alexander did not mind in the least.

"I will. I have no further matters at the moment. I thought you said the sun did not agree with you?" He cupped Daniel's cheek, thumb running along his jaw line.

"It was more the heat than the sun. I have to be careful still, but most of the work is in the caves which stay tolerable if it is not midday. The clothing of this decade is also more breathable than it was when I was…younger."

"Are you happy?"

Did that smile dim just the slightest? "I am. I am happy enough." He kissed him to stop further questions, drew Alexander over him once more to distract.

* * *

"He thinks about you still, you know." Alexander kicked his heels against the ledge in the cave-like room, a small ball of pale flame the only illumination in the eternal darkness of the place. He almost wished Daniel were here. The young man would press against him so tightly in his terror, would be begging Alexander to comfort. He shook himself from pleasant daydreams. "Does that make you happy? That even though we have found some meager joy in this world he still thinks of you, considered you a friend?" He sneered at the last word.

Silence settled around them. Then, _Have you come only to gloat, you old fiend, or will you finally finish what you started?_

Alexander raised an eyebrow at Agrippa's head, lying where he had let it drop nearly sixty years ago. "Gloat? I suppose I do have a great deal to gloat about. Also I should thank you, I suppose." He paused, licking his teeth as he waited for the small strand of curiosity to cross his mind. Ah, there it was.

_Thank me? For what?_

"For Daniel. It was a good ploy, to drive us apart, to convince him to go along with your asinine scheme with the Damascus Rose. It did seem to succeed at first, but you did not count on how frail a thing human memory truly is. He was in my bed the first night we left this hell. Less than a decade and he was willingly in my arms and a half century after that, the memory of this place is faded enough for him to love me again. He's mine now, more mine than he was before that damned potion, still beautiful and now unbroken."

Agrippa began to laugh. _Is that what you truly think? That he loves you? I'm sure he only gives you access to his body as a way to keep you on a leash, much like the one you have him on. I can feel it, you know. That bond between you two. It must have hurt him. Did you rape him in body as you raped his very mind?_

Alexander smiled, teeth flashing in the dim light. "I always did think you were jealous of me, old friend. Did you regret not having a body when you first met him? Do you still wish there was a way to know how lovely it is to be between his thighs and hear him whimper your name?"

_You are depraved. I never wanted anything more than for him to get away from you and find some peace. If he freed me as well, so much the better._

"He a fantastic creature. Each tremble, each sigh completely bewitching. I would give him this world on a plate if he would just look at me through his lashes and ask me."

A sigh in his mind. _I very much doubt he wants worlds, Alexander. More than half a century with the lad and you still know him no better. The boy is little more than a whore to you-_

A whip of thought across the severed head's mind and Agrippa cried out. Alexander's smile widened. Fascinating that even when one was no longer strictly corporeal, one could still feel pain. "Do not talk of my love that way, please."

_My apologies. In my day that was the term for a person who sells their favors for personal gain._

"And what does he gain besides my company? I give him gifts, yes, but they are not asked for and if I suddenly withdrew them he would never think to ask why. He would assume I had a good reason. You forget that we are bonded now. His thoughts are mine."

_He buys your distraction. He buys, what he thinks, is peace. Have you started up your old tricks yet, you devil?_

Alexander laid down, hands tucked underneath his head. He stared up into the darkness, the ceiling not visible in the gloom.

_I will take your silence for a yes then. That poor boy. All he wanted was a life without horror and you are too selfish to even give him that._

"I give him the illusion of it. Is it not the same thing? He does not know where I go on my business trips, what I do while I am not by his side." He shrugged. "And honestly, why should he ever learn?"

_I am appalled that he is still so naïve as to trust you. Then again, with your bond it would be a simple thing to make him overlook certain discrepancies._

"How dare you. I do not meddle in his mind. He needs no prodding from me to feel as he does, to think as he will."

_Did you tell him that you have given up on your quest for your world?_

Silence fell.

_I see. Would you? Could you put your pride aside enough to live with him here if it made him truly happy, if you could have him in truth if you only let go?_

Alexander turned to look at the head beside him. He wondered briefly if Agrippa could see him or only sense his presence. "I can have both. For all of his changes, he is still human in his heart and fears the unknown. I can work on that, I can convince him-"

_That exact line of thinking is what led to you losing him before. You never learn! I hope he gains the knowledge and the strength to leave you. I hope he tears your soul to shreds and spits in the ashes of your heart._

"And on that note…" Alexander sat up. "It is always a pleasure to speak with you, old friend, but I really must be on my way. I only came to gather some things I needed and perhaps to say goodbye."

_You meant to rub your supposed triumph in my face._

Alexander's smile raised into something bestial. "That as well."

_He'll find out, you know. That you aren't as selfless as you seem. That at heart you'll always be a petty creature who would not let go of a grudge or a-_

"Do you know how many times he's wondered if I actually did throw you through that damn gate? Not once. Not once has it crossed his dear, trusting little mind."

It was Agrippa's turn to fall silent.

"I will admit that at times he is a naïve little fool, but he is my naïve little fool and I love him for it. Besides, if he ever does wonder we will be far from here."

_You cannot have gathered the necessary vitae so soon! It took you two centuries and a castle as a conduit before!_

"I have found another way. We were fools back then, Daniel was right about that. We had stumbled upon one way to open a door between worlds and did not think to search out if there were better, more expedient ways. We were so lazy when we were young." He stood up and dusted off his trousers. "With the passing of years, this world is growing smaller. It is easier to come across rumors and lore from lands that were almost inaccessible in our time. I will be home before the end of the year. This truly is a farewell, old friend."

_You cannot mean to leave me like this! Kill me! You owe me that much!_

"I owe you nothing. I've come for the Orbs that remained here and that is all. Enjoy eternity."

He jumped from the ledge, landing cat-like on his feet. Agrippa's mind-voice was an inarticulate wail of despair and he grinned. _He'll never follow you! He will refuse and he will find me!_

"As if I would give my darling any choice in the matter," he muttered, bending to retrieve the satchel with the three Orbs in it.

* * *

The first sight that greeted him as he walked up to the hotel in Cairo was a gaggle of filthy street urchins. It took Alexander a moment to realize that the man they were surrounding was Daniel, seated on the dirty ground, beaming at them. As he drew closer he realized that Daniel must have been telling them one of his stories. A little girl was petting his hair and a small boy was in his lap, sucking on a grimy thumb and staring up at Daniel with solemn, wide eyes.

Daniel would have made a great father. These gutter-snipes could attest to it. Scarce a week in Egypt and they had given up their cries of baksheesh and would seek Daniel out just for the sole and soothing pleasure of his company. It was too easy to picture the man at a fireside, a book spread on his lap and a litter of adoring children at his feet, a slightly plump wife looking fondly on. A pang of vicious possessiveness pierced Alexander's breast. Such an old fool to be jealous of a make-believe wife Daniel might have gained in another life! But when it came to his mate he oft times had trouble with rationality.

"Daniel." His voice was a bark and the children scattered before it.

Daniel's shoulders rose and lifted, but the face he raised to him had fondness, if not a little annoyance, in it. "Alexander. You've returned I see. I trust it was a pleasant trip?"

"Abysmal, actually."

"Oh?" Daniel stood up, concern in those eyes that Alexander could have spent a small eternity trying to categorize the exact shade of.

 _You were not with me._ One finger down his cheek and a tap on his chin. Daniel rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his lips now. "I am a bit weary. Let us retire for a small while. I trust you chose rooms that are acceptable this time?"

"The rooms last time were perfectly fine, Alexander. We need not have opulence every moment of our lives." He stooped and picked up one of Alexander's bags, wincing slightly at the weight of it.

"It had fleas."

"It did not!"

As soon as they were in the shade of the hotel and a surreptitious glance showed they were unobserved, Alexander wrapped his hand around Daniel's hip and pulled him close. He buried his nose in his brown hair, laid a kiss on his brow.

Daniel shoved him away. "Behave until you're in our rooms."

"You are too cruel to me." He tried to capture him again, but Daniel stepped out of reach.

"You can wait a minute more, love."

"Then I may do whatever I wish?"

Daniel smiled. "Can I ever deny you anything?" Alexander pretended not to notice the slight tang of bitterness that rubbed up against his mind, only taking Daniel's hand and leading him down the hall.

* * *

"How was the excavation while I was away? Did you find more dinner plates?"

Daniel huffed, reaching down to stroke Alexander's hair where it spread over his thighs. After their usual period of getting reacquainted after a lengthy absence, Alexander had claimed Daniel's hip as a pillow and seemed in no hurry to move. "Do not belittle my work. And yes we did. I am very happy with our findings this year."

Alexander brushed his lips over the tight belly underneath him. "Do you not hunger for glory though? To find a lost treasure, a pharaoh?"

Daniel shivered. "I have had enough of lost treasure for a lifetime. They tend to come with curses I've found." He shifted, but Alexander would not be dislodged, a hand tucked itself under Daniel's knee and squeezed. "Besides, this work is important even if you cannot understand the value."

Alexander harrumphed, warm breath on Daniel's skin making it twitch in an appealing manner.

"Finding out how the ancients lived, how they worked and dined and played, in a hundred years that will prove to be the greater historical finding than some stray jewel overlooked by grave robbers."

Alexander rubbed his cheek against the bone beneath him, enjoying the feel of the velvety skin covering it. He wished that Daniel would gain in weight at least a little. He was nothing but skin stretched over a skeleton and a thin layer of hard muscle. How Alexander longed to hold something more soft and pliable in his arms, to have Daniel be as he ought to be: completely spoiled and kept.

"That is an appalling thought. I will not get fat for your pleasure, Alexander." He slapped at the hand that had been caressing up his chest. "Besides, if I was the least bit out of shape, I would not be able to crawl into the excavation pits as easily as I need to."

"I taught you to have enough manners to announce yourself when you enter my thoughts."

Daniel sniffed. "You never do."

 _Because I own you_ , but Alexander had enough sense to keep that thought tucked out of Daniel's grasp.

"Why did you leave me this time?" Daniel's change of topic was uttered in a small voice, one that had Alexander instantly on guard.

"To see to our funding, to befriend those whose donations keep your little projects going. What did you think?"

"Nothing. I was only curious."

Alexander reached out but met a wall around Daniel's mind. "Do you think I have another lover secreted away?" It was meant as a jest but it fell with a terrible weight. "Daniel!" He didn't know whether to be amused or appalled. "You know there is no one other than you! Even in my own world I could not find anyone who stirred me as you do. You are utterly singular and the only thing in all of the worlds that could ever ensnare me." _Do you still not understand the import of our binding? What it meant for me to do it those long years ago?_

Daniel shook his head, tried to roll over, but Alexander held him tight. "I know. I know I am being silly, but…" He shook his head again. "Sometimes I feel as if you are hiding something from me. Something big. If not a lover, then what?"

He could feel Daniel start on that path that would lead to where Agrippa had predicted. The memory of Daniel looking at him and not a flicker of recognition on his adored face flashed through his mind and burned. He quickly crawled up Daniel's lithe body, lay kisses on his face and murmured endearments and proclamations in his ear.

Daniel pushed him away. "What is it then? If not a lover then what?" He repeated, shaking Alexander with each word.

Alexander froze. It had to be perfect, the right mix of truth and lies. "I…have grown used to my creature comforts. Being so far from civilization is…hard for me."

Daniel snorted. "It is only for a few months out of the year and it's hardly the wilds of Africa! You could always wander into Cairo for a few nights if you feel too bereft."

"I knew you would not understand."

"And what of me? Am I not enough to keep you here, enough for you to bear the trials of a rougher life?"

Alexander regarded him for a long moment, then leaned down and kissed him between his brows. "As long as I have you, I can withstand anything."

Daniel raised a brow. "Then you will not be wandering away from me so often?"

Daniel wanting him, Daniel missing him, growing jealous of the moments they weren't together… It was so heady a feeling he grew dizzy from it. "My business overseas is concluded for the moment. I won't leave your side again this season."

"You'd better not." Daniel kissed him and the niggling thought that Agrippa might be right, that Daniel might not be as naïve as he seemed, that he suspected something and had learned how to wrap Alexander around his finger, was quickly derailed by much too pleasant diversions.

That night Alexander wound his mind through Daniel's slumbering one, almost mirroring their entwined bodies. It was so easy to manipulate his dreams now, to implant memories of his own. The spires and cliffs of his home, the architecture that once almost drove Daniel mad when he caught a brief glimpse of it. _See,_ he murmured in his lover's mind. _There is nothing to fear here. This will soon be your new home, our home. See how lovely it is?_

Daniel stirred in his sleep, turned further into Alexander's body as if seeking comfort and shuddered.

Alexander brushed his lips over his temple. _We have our ancient civilizations here as well and no one has ever thought to ponder them in full. The only curiosity my kind has_ is _for the present, but you can discover our ancient secrets, delve into them, teach us about them. It has never occurred to us to wonder about our ruins and we will be fascinated by your discoveries. You will utterly charm my brethren. You so easily captivated me, you will remember._

Alexander reached out and touched the book that lay open on their bedside table. It had become a talisman of sorts to him since he had first came across it, this book of fairy-tales from a faraway land called Greenland. In it was a term he had never thought he would stumble over in this graceless world: Tuurngait, a creature that could move across dimensions without the need for a Traveler's Locket.

_Home before the year ends._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that is the end of Spirit! I hope it lived up to everyone's expectations. I left the ending up in the air as a sort of choose your own resolution kinda thing. Does Daniel break free of Alexander, rescue Agrippa and the two go off on strange and fabulous adventures together? (I want to write that one day. A boy and his severed head...) Or does Alexander pull him into his world where Danny realizes there are places that are still excavate-able and so is not that bothered? My personal belief for the ending of their story is something a bit darker, but that would not have been fun to read or write ^_^ I also wanted to do some of this chapter in Danny's POV, but he was not cooperating. I hope his thoughts and real feelings still peek through, even though we are looking at him through Alexander's rose colored glasses. Also I couldn't help but tie this in with Penumbra. Maybe Alexander is the reason the Tuurngait is so grumpy when Philip gets to it... Thank you for putting up with me and for all your lovely, lovely feedback. I have a new story planned and hopefully the first part of it will be posted soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the "Courting" prompt on the Amnesia kink Meme.


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